On this podcast, we talk about how the gospel is good news for everyone everyday.
The hosts, Matt and Laurie Krieg, are broken, beloved, and gospel-addicted. Matt, a licensed counselor, and Laurie, a teacher/writer/mentor interview others about how the gospel is good news for them every day alongside their friend, Producer Steve.
In each week's Heart of the Matter, the group often invites guests to talk about things the Church leaves in the shadows but they want to bring to the light (Eph. 5:13). They also take a "trip" each week to Goofball Island (where you can "take a vacation from your problems"), and answer the Question of the Week alongside listeners.
It's fun. It's deep. Join us.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
The hosts, Matt and Laurie Krieg, are broken, beloved, and gospel-addicted. Matt, a licensed counselor, and Laurie, a teacher/writer/mentor interview others about how the gospel is good news for them every day alongside their friend, Producer Steve.
In each week's Heart of the Matter, the group often invites guests to talk about things the Church leaves in the shadows but they want to bring to the light (Eph. 5:13). They also take a "trip" each week to Goofball Island (where you can "take a vacation from your problems"), and answer the Question of the Week alongside listeners.
It's fun. It's deep. Join us.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Episode 46: When Your Kid Comes out
When I was first making the connection between my brain and attractions toward women, I promised myself that I would never tell my parents. I was terrified. "Would they reject me? Does this mean I am not a Christian? Or I'm the worst-broken Christian?"
I am so thankful that rejection wasn't a part of what I encountered, but it was still rocky. Lots of tears shed on this one with my dad, Randy Hekman. Also lots of cheese-related laughs. We play a game called "To Cheese or Not to Cheese." Come, laugh, cry, and goof around with us.
Highlight:
"Our biggest weapon as a parents is what? . . . Our prayers. And God loves our kids more than we do . . . so keep praying. Keep loving. That's what I say to moms and dads." --Randy Hekman
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
I am so thankful that rejection wasn't a part of what I encountered, but it was still rocky. Lots of tears shed on this one with my dad, Randy Hekman. Also lots of cheese-related laughs. We play a game called "To Cheese or Not to Cheese." Come, laugh, cry, and goof around with us.
Highlight:
"Our biggest weapon as a parents is what? . . . Our prayers. And God loves our kids more than we do . . . so keep praying. Keep loving. That's what I say to moms and dads." --Randy Hekman
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Episode 45: At the Intersection of Friendship and Loneliness
Loneliness. We all experience it, but not many of us want to talk about it. Let's start the conversation here (and connect it to the necessity of friendship) with blogger and our new friend, Bridget Eileen!
Also, we got new sound effects. Also we play "Explain a Film Plot Badly." IT FUNNY. Also listen to the end. Producer Steve likes to hide nuggets.
Highlight:
"I've seen what a struggle [friendship] is for myself. I have been able to forge close friendships . . . but there heaven't been many. There have been a few precious people here and there that I have found . . . But not everybody does find close friends because our culture doesn't have as much of an appreciation of friendship as something that is permanent and something that you prioritize." --Bridget Eileen
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Also, we got new sound effects. Also we play "Explain a Film Plot Badly." IT FUNNY. Also listen to the end. Producer Steve likes to hide nuggets.
Highlight:
"I've seen what a struggle [friendship] is for myself. I have been able to forge close friendships . . . but there heaven't been many. There have been a few precious people here and there that I have found . . . But not everybody does find close friends because our culture doesn't have as much of an appreciation of friendship as something that is permanent and something that you prioritize." --Bridget Eileen
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Episode 44: Jealous of Your Suffering
When I (Laurie) was at a recent teaching event focused on leaning into LGBT+ conversation with grace and truth, I heard Daniel Mattson, author, speaker, and trombone player, share a story that made my jaw drop. As he taught, I found myself (for the first time) jealous of the way someone suffered. He offers that story here.
We also play a ridiculous game where we all practice our acting skills (as West Michigan moms, hungry dinosaurs, and texting Millennials with focal fry), and Daniel and I lean into what labels we choose to identify (same-sex attracted? gay?) and why. Welcome back, friends! We are so excited to walk this season with you.
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 43.5: "H.A.G.S.: (Have a great summer)
Remember when people used to write "HAGS" in your yearbook? That's this episode. Plus some more hearty stuff and a T-Rex costume.
We talk favorite Goofball Island and Heart of the Matter moments, how has this podcast impacted us from start to finish, and talk future goals for it (please come be our best friends, Chris Pratt and Terry Cruze).
Highlight:
“There were some days when Matt and I would come in and record, and we were in fuming states or silent states. This podcast was a place to laugh together and find where we agree--which is the gospel.” --Laurie Krieg
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
We talk favorite Goofball Island and Heart of the Matter moments, how has this podcast impacted us from start to finish, and talk future goals for it (please come be our best friends, Chris Pratt and Terry Cruze).
Highlight:
“There were some days when Matt and I would come in and record, and we were in fuming states or silent states. This podcast was a place to laugh together and find where we agree--which is the gospel.” --Laurie Krieg
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 43: Getting Campy
This is our last official full-length podcast for season one of the HIMH podcast! [Insert weeping]
We are going to us off into the July break talking about a favorite summer activity: camping.
But this episode covers much more than camp life. Our guest, Susan Titus, a shares practical experience of caring for LGBT+ campers as well as ways God has convicted her to love LGBT+ people. (Her methods include reaching out to people in gay bars and wearing rainbow bracelets). Per usual, we learn a lot about what it means to live missionally.
We also play a game called Camp or Tramp (is this a real camp experience or a faker?), and explore best and worst camp moments with our listener Question of the Week!
Highlight:
"What really propelled me down the path was we had a staff member...who came out about a relationship. [It] compelled me to get some skin in the game and really start to study, learn, and understand." --Susan Titus
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
We are going to us off into the July break talking about a favorite summer activity: camping.
But this episode covers much more than camp life. Our guest, Susan Titus, a shares practical experience of caring for LGBT+ campers as well as ways God has convicted her to love LGBT+ people. (Her methods include reaching out to people in gay bars and wearing rainbow bracelets). Per usual, we learn a lot about what it means to live missionally.
We also play a game called Camp or Tramp (is this a real camp experience or a faker?), and explore best and worst camp moments with our listener Question of the Week!
Highlight:
"What really propelled me down the path was we had a staff member...who came out about a relationship. [It] compelled me to get some skin in the game and really start to study, learn, and understand." --Susan Titus
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 42: The Codependency Complication
Friendship questions are some of the top inquiries we receive at HIMH. Is it biblical to have a best friend? At what point does a friendship turn codependent? What can we do about it?
We cover it with codependency expert, Kelly Needham--someone who loves friendship so much she's writing a book about it. (And if you recognize that last name, it's because she is married to Christian worship artist, Jimmy Needham! A little fact we didn't know until 60 seconds before recording... Our bad.)
We also get real deep into Tinkerbell and the Legend of the Neverbeast talk, as well as play a game called One Day where we answer who we would like to spend one day with (CCM artist (Kelly only has one right answer!), Food Network Star, Disney character, theologian...)
Highlights:
"We are called to be dependent on someone, but it's not each other--it's on Christ." --Kelly Needham
"Codependency ... is when our emotional sense of well-being becomes tied to another person." --Kelly Needham
"Over time their friendship became so enmeshed and unhealthy ... something that should have been really good (walking someone through pain and suffering) became its own version of sin and suffering." --Kelly Needham
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
We cover it with codependency expert, Kelly Needham--someone who loves friendship so much she's writing a book about it. (And if you recognize that last name, it's because she is married to Christian worship artist, Jimmy Needham! A little fact we didn't know until 60 seconds before recording... Our bad.)
We also get real deep into Tinkerbell and the Legend of the Neverbeast talk, as well as play a game called One Day where we answer who we would like to spend one day with (CCM artist (Kelly only has one right answer!), Food Network Star, Disney character, theologian...)
Highlights:
"We are called to be dependent on someone, but it's not each other--it's on Christ." --Kelly Needham
"Codependency ... is when our emotional sense of well-being becomes tied to another person." --Kelly Needham
"Over time their friendship became so enmeshed and unhealthy ... something that should have been really good (walking someone through pain and suffering) became its own version of sin and suffering." --Kelly Needham
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 41: A Gender Conversation
We have two incredible stories for you today:
One is of Kat LaPrairie, who identifies as transgender and experiences attractions toward women. Kat came out as gay after high school and had serial dating relationships with women for a decade. In those years, Kat woke up many nights "gasping for God."
The other story is of a mom, Kathi Bush. Kathi is a clinical therapist and mom to a son who wrestles with gender dysphoria. Kathi shares not only pieces of her journey with her son, but practical ways parents of children wrestling with gender dysphoria can journey alongside them well.
We also toss around our least favorite gender stereotypes, the Goo Goo Dolls (catch that opener? and the secret ending after the song at the very end?), and if we'd rather lose a year of our life or repeat the same day for 365 days. #itsgroundhogday
Highlights:
"That tugging at my heart, I felt it through those ten years. It would wake me up out of a sleep--where I would almost be gasping." --Kat LaPrairie
"As parents we must be really self-aware to put ourself in a posture of love: I am going to put myself in your shoes and put myself in your space. This isn't about me." --Kathi Bush
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
One is of Kat LaPrairie, who identifies as transgender and experiences attractions toward women. Kat came out as gay after high school and had serial dating relationships with women for a decade. In those years, Kat woke up many nights "gasping for God."
The other story is of a mom, Kathi Bush. Kathi is a clinical therapist and mom to a son who wrestles with gender dysphoria. Kathi shares not only pieces of her journey with her son, but practical ways parents of children wrestling with gender dysphoria can journey alongside them well.
We also toss around our least favorite gender stereotypes, the Goo Goo Dolls (catch that opener? and the secret ending after the song at the very end?), and if we'd rather lose a year of our life or repeat the same day for 365 days. #itsgroundhogday
Highlights:
"That tugging at my heart, I felt it through those ten years. It would wake me up out of a sleep--where I would almost be gasping." --Kat LaPrairie
"As parents we must be really self-aware to put ourself in a posture of love: I am going to put myself in your shoes and put myself in your space. This isn't about me." --Kathi Bush
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 40: The thing About Temptation
Friends: This is a story you 're not going to want to miss. Our guest, Rachel Gilson, wrote an article for Christianity today that was both award-winning and one of the most-read articles of 2017. When you hear her share her story of the gospel's good news for her here, you'll understand why.
The story includes girlfriends, binge drinking, and a stolen copy of Mere Christianity. Rachel also shares about the gospel's right-now good newsiness in her walk with ongoing temptation.
Because we are the HIMH podcast, we naturally discuss the past-tense version of the word, "cheat," the difference between a high-five and a fist-bump, and we play a game called Mascot or Villain (where you have to guess if the name is a sports mascot or super villain).
Highlight:
"I knew I couldn't pretend that the gospel wasn't real just because it was inconvenient for me. That would be the definition of stupidity."
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
The story includes girlfriends, binge drinking, and a stolen copy of Mere Christianity. Rachel also shares about the gospel's right-now good newsiness in her walk with ongoing temptation.
Because we are the HIMH podcast, we naturally discuss the past-tense version of the word, "cheat," the difference between a high-five and a fist-bump, and we play a game called Mascot or Villain (where you have to guess if the name is a sports mascot or super villain).
Highlight:
"I knew I couldn't pretend that the gospel wasn't real just because it was inconvenient for me. That would be the definition of stupidity."
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 39: Envy, Pride, and Leadership
Are we all leaders because of social media? How does social media play into the struggle with envy? When does pride get mixed up into that? (And what's the relationship to all of this and self-hatred?)
We explore it with pastor, author, and speaker Adam Barr. We also walk with tauntauns, wampas, (and therefore the relationship between Star Wars and Dr. Seuss), and Matt Krieg comes up with the Goofball Island game for the first time. Woot!
Highlight:
"Jesus says... 'The harvest is plentiful and the workers are few.' Then he says, 'Pray to the Lord of the harvest.' He doesn't say, 'Get up and go out there!' He says, 'Pray.' Prayer is what unleashes anything good God wants to do in his Kingdom."
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
We explore it with pastor, author, and speaker Adam Barr. We also walk with tauntauns, wampas, (and therefore the relationship between Star Wars and Dr. Seuss), and Matt Krieg comes up with the Goofball Island game for the first time. Woot!
Highlight:
"Jesus says... 'The harvest is plentiful and the workers are few.' Then he says, 'Pray to the Lord of the harvest.' He doesn't say, 'Get up and go out there!' He says, 'Pray.' Prayer is what unleashes anything good God wants to do in his Kingdom."
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 38: Gender and Jesus
Dr. Preston Sprinkle is in the house!
We are hitting the New York Times bestseller with all the hard questions: What is your Enneagram number? What's your Hogwarts house? Where did the phrase "kick the bucket" come from?
AFTER ALL OF DAT, we do talk a bit about God's design for gender, premarital sex (what does the Bible say?), and when to speak truth in love.
Highlight:
"Our leadership has to be consistently promoting and embodying a counter-cultural way of doing community that is really shocking and life-giving to people... Our current church structures are largely resistant to that kind of deep, vibrant, vulnerable types of communities that the New Testament is longing for."
Question of the Week:
When do you feel the most envious?
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
We are hitting the New York Times bestseller with all the hard questions: What is your Enneagram number? What's your Hogwarts house? Where did the phrase "kick the bucket" come from?
AFTER ALL OF DAT, we do talk a bit about God's design for gender, premarital sex (what does the Bible say?), and when to speak truth in love.
Highlight:
"Our leadership has to be consistently promoting and embodying a counter-cultural way of doing community that is really shocking and life-giving to people... Our current church structures are largely resistant to that kind of deep, vibrant, vulnerable types of communities that the New Testament is longing for."
Question of the Week:
When do you feel the most envious?
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 37: The Gospel Comes with a House Key
We have a controversial guest on our podcast today: Rosaria Butterfield. Some of you may not know why she might be controversial; some of you may write off this podcast forever as a result of our interview.
Give us a minute to explain why we intentionally invited her: The world is increasingly becoming post-Christian. We need other Christians. We need to link arms with other believers (even if we disagree with pieces of what they say) so that the gospel is preached. If you give this one a chance, you may be surprised at how much you are challenged and how many times you find places of agreement.
We also talk about doilies, daydreaming about velociraptor attacks, auditioning for Disney, and we introduced Rosaria to a classic youth group game (Two Truths and a Lie) where kids effectively learn how to deceive each other. (Good job, us.)
Highlight:
"So many of the things that have created this post-Christian world would not have happened had the Body of Christ lived like the Body of Christ. The fact that we have relegated people to crushing loneliness is obscene."
Question of the Week:
What is the next hospitality step you took this week? (Also, if you have any questions for Preston, hit us up! Lord willing, he will be on next week--for real this time.)
Links:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Give us a minute to explain why we intentionally invited her: The world is increasingly becoming post-Christian. We need other Christians. We need to link arms with other believers (even if we disagree with pieces of what they say) so that the gospel is preached. If you give this one a chance, you may be surprised at how much you are challenged and how many times you find places of agreement.
We also talk about doilies, daydreaming about velociraptor attacks, auditioning for Disney, and we introduced Rosaria to a classic youth group game (Two Truths and a Lie) where kids effectively learn how to deceive each other. (Good job, us.)
Highlight:
"So many of the things that have created this post-Christian world would not have happened had the Body of Christ lived like the Body of Christ. The fact that we have relegated people to crushing loneliness is obscene."
Question of the Week:
What is the next hospitality step you took this week? (Also, if you have any questions for Preston, hit us up! Lord willing, he will be on next week--for real this time.)
Links:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 36: 20-Somethings and Discipleship
Did you or do you feel lost in your 20s? Lonely? Our guest, Drew Boa, asked (and still asks) in his 20s, "What is my purpose? Who are my people? Where do I belong?" Let's dive into that 20-something lostness, and talk about feeling lost in general. Then, let's explore how we can get anchored.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Episode 35: How We Heal Part 2
The hearty portion of this week's podcast is all about authenticity and intimacy: How can we be authentic without over-sharing? Can pastors/leaders be authentic? Should they be? How do emotional, physical, and spiritual intimacy relate to marriage and friendship?
We are very heavy-handed with the goofball part of the show: In a fight between Eleven from Stranger Things and Hermione Granger from Harry Potter, who would win? Would you rather lose your texting ability or have to use dial-up internet forever? Would you rather have terrible dandruff, body odor, or flatulence?
You get it all here at the Hole in My Heart Podcast.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Lin
We are very heavy-handed with the goofball part of the show: In a fight between Eleven from Stranger Things and Hermione Granger from Harry Potter, who would win? Would you rather lose your texting ability or have to use dial-up internet forever? Would you rather have terrible dandruff, body odor, or flatulence?
You get it all here at the Hole in My Heart Podcast.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Lin
Episode 34: How We Heal
Eh, boy. Here we go again! Getting vulnerable. As a follow-up to the now infamous (and most listened-to) Episode 24: Is There Hope for Us?, Matt and I give an update on our marriage's healing journey. We get really real. We pray you are only blessed by it.
We also talk men's and women's ministries/conferences/retreats and the gifts and drawbacks of them, and I do a HILARIOUS round of Mom Jokes regarding cold weather. (I'm begging you to laugh.)
Highlight:
"The problem for me was I knew when we got married ... it was not this erotic, hormone-driven sexual desire. That was not there in the beginning. So what I rested my laurels on (and maybe made an idol of), was this friendship with you [Matt]. 'Well, at least if we can have this friendship with you, that can lead to sexual intimacy...' Nope. Gone. And when that was taken away what was left was this patched together, barely-tolerant-of-each-other marriage ... and God." //Laurie
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
We also talk men's and women's ministries/conferences/retreats and the gifts and drawbacks of them, and I do a HILARIOUS round of Mom Jokes regarding cold weather. (I'm begging you to laugh.)
Highlight:
"The problem for me was I knew when we got married ... it was not this erotic, hormone-driven sexual desire. That was not there in the beginning. So what I rested my laurels on (and maybe made an idol of), was this friendship with you [Matt]. 'Well, at least if we can have this friendship with you, that can lead to sexual intimacy...' Nope. Gone. And when that was taken away what was left was this patched together, barely-tolerant-of-each-other marriage ... and God." //Laurie
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Episode 33: Sexual Discipleship
Who comes to your mind when you think about mentors or disciple-makers? Who comes to mind when you think about sexual discipleship? Anybody? We are all sexually discipled (whether or not we realize it) by the world. We learn its significance, importance (or lack thereof), and how to approach it by the world. We need another way.
Our friend and co-laborer in the Kingdom, Dr. Juli Slattery, author, speaker, and fellow podcaster walks us through a beautiful start of this conversation and some highlights in her fantastic new book, Rethinking Sexuality.
We are real, we are gospel-focused, but because we can't ever keep things too serious, we talk about ridiculous but important-to-us things: How the gateway drug to alcohol is Mountain Dew (you know we are right), clean mullets, singing the Circle of Life at the top of your lungs, Morning Ninja Steve, and what if everything you ate tasted like bananas? It's a fun game of "Would you Rather," and a deep talk with our friend Dr. Juli Slattery.
Highlight:
"The [disciple-maker] grit doesn't come from this view of, 'I have so much to offer somebody else.' It comes from, 'I have encountered God in such a powerful way that I am just a leaky vessel that I want the Lord to pour through.'"
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Our friend and co-laborer in the Kingdom, Dr. Juli Slattery, author, speaker, and fellow podcaster walks us through a beautiful start of this conversation and some highlights in her fantastic new book, Rethinking Sexuality.
We are real, we are gospel-focused, but because we can't ever keep things too serious, we talk about ridiculous but important-to-us things: How the gateway drug to alcohol is Mountain Dew (you know we are right), clean mullets, singing the Circle of Life at the top of your lungs, Morning Ninja Steve, and what if everything you ate tasted like bananas? It's a fun game of "Would you Rather," and a deep talk with our friend Dr. Juli Slattery.
Highlight:
"The [disciple-maker] grit doesn't come from this view of, 'I have so much to offer somebody else.' It comes from, 'I have encountered God in such a powerful way that I am just a leaky vessel that I want the Lord to pour through.'"
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Episode 32: Guiding Families
4.7.18
Friends: If you haven't ever listened to our podcast, start here! We have a special guest, Bill Henson, who is a spirit-filled well of wisdom.
If you are a parent of an LGBT+ child, a Christian leader who wants to be more inclusive (while still holding to a historically Christian view), identify as LGBT+, or simply care about LGBT+ people, this one is for you.
In addition to talking about walking with LGBT+ friends and family, we also talk about the first time we learned we were missionaries, how we listen to music (in the car? at home? at church?), and about an upcoming joint-retreat HIMH is hosting with Bill and Lead Them Home.
Don't miss this one!
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Friends: If you haven't ever listened to our podcast, start here! We have a special guest, Bill Henson, who is a spirit-filled well of wisdom.
If you are a parent of an LGBT+ child, a Christian leader who wants to be more inclusive (while still holding to a historically Christian view), identify as LGBT+, or simply care about LGBT+ people, this one is for you.
In addition to talking about walking with LGBT+ friends and family, we also talk about the first time we learned we were missionaries, how we listen to music (in the car? at home? at church?), and about an upcoming joint-retreat HIMH is hosting with Bill and Lead Them Home.
Don't miss this one!
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Episode 31: How to Talk with the Kids
3.30.18
It sends terror through all parents: How do we talk with the kids about sexuality? Yikes. How do we?
We bring our first returning guest, Dr. Branson Parler, Professor of Theological Studies at Kuyper College, and Director of Faith Formation at Fourth Reformed Church in Grand Rapids, MI, to talk with us. In addition to his theological cred, he brings real-life walking with his five kids, ages 9, 7, 5, 3, and 1.
What we share here is important ground work, and (I hope) specific next steps.
We also talk about how to talk about Jesus with kids in general, and our favorite childhood snacks. (Oh yeah, there was that one time I thought I invented the quesadilla. Like, for real I thought that.) Also, we talk Kool Aid Man. Oh, yeah.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
It sends terror through all parents: How do we talk with the kids about sexuality? Yikes. How do we?
We bring our first returning guest, Dr. Branson Parler, Professor of Theological Studies at Kuyper College, and Director of Faith Formation at Fourth Reformed Church in Grand Rapids, MI, to talk with us. In addition to his theological cred, he brings real-life walking with his five kids, ages 9, 7, 5, 3, and 1.
What we share here is important ground work, and (I hope) specific next steps.
We also talk about how to talk about Jesus with kids in general, and our favorite childhood snacks. (Oh yeah, there was that one time I thought I invented the quesadilla. Like, for real I thought that.) Also, we talk Kool Aid Man. Oh, yeah.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Episode 30: Women Struggle with Lust, Too
3.23.18
Christians hardly bat an eye when we talk about men and their struggles with lust, but what about women? If women make up 1 out of every 3 visits to a pornographic website, if 17% of women consider themselves addicted to porn, and if half of women in a recent German sex study admit to watching porn, why don't we talk about it? Why are there so few resources?
If we are a woman who wrestles with pornography or lust in general, how can we get the shame-free help we need? Additionally, If we are a friend of a woman wrestling with lust, how can we come alongside our friends? We talk about it with our guest, author and speaker Amy Riordan.
Favorite Quote:
"To me, intimacy meant sex. I didn't realize there was a difference between the two. That started this whole thing with God showing me what I was really craving and wanting was intimacy--not sex.'" --Amy Riordan
To Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Christians hardly bat an eye when we talk about men and their struggles with lust, but what about women? If women make up 1 out of every 3 visits to a pornographic website, if 17% of women consider themselves addicted to porn, and if half of women in a recent German sex study admit to watching porn, why don't we talk about it? Why are there so few resources?
If we are a woman who wrestles with pornography or lust in general, how can we get the shame-free help we need? Additionally, If we are a friend of a woman wrestling with lust, how can we come alongside our friends? We talk about it with our guest, author and speaker Amy Riordan.
Favorite Quote:
"To me, intimacy meant sex. I didn't realize there was a difference between the two. That started this whole thing with God showing me what I was really craving and wanting was intimacy--not sex.'" --Amy Riordan
To Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 29: It Takes a Village
3.16.18
Youth leaders, this one is for you. We talk with our guest and New York City youth pastor, Ray Low, about his journey with sexuality and how his youth pastor walked with him well. We also talk a lot about what it is like to be a double minority as an Asian American and a sexual minority. This was an important conversation we were honored to have.
Favorite quotes:
"[At church] I saw a different kind of community that had a different kind of purpose. That's when the gospel started to make sense to me: when I started to see a community that extended beyond Sunday."
"[My youth pastor] would treat people like people. He would treat people like he had this calling to form a faith identity in each and every one of us. That looked like giving us that space to wrestle."
To Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Youth leaders, this one is for you. We talk with our guest and New York City youth pastor, Ray Low, about his journey with sexuality and how his youth pastor walked with him well. We also talk a lot about what it is like to be a double minority as an Asian American and a sexual minority. This was an important conversation we were honored to have.
Favorite quotes:
"[At church] I saw a different kind of community that had a different kind of purpose. That's when the gospel started to make sense to me: when I started to see a community that extended beyond Sunday."
"[My youth pastor] would treat people like people. He would treat people like he had this calling to form a faith identity in each and every one of us. That looked like giving us that space to wrestle."
To Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Episode 28: A New Voice
3.9.18
We laughed a lot on this one.We cracked up, and went to deep heart places with Nate Collins, special guest, author, and president and founder of the Revoice Conference. We chatted about starstruck moments (who almost got taken down by Francis Chan's security team, hmmm, LAURIE?!), smelling like bourbon, identity, and giving the historically Christian LGBT+ conversation a new voice in the local church.
A favorite quote:
"The way the gospel is good news for me now," Nate said, "is by living transparently. When that requires vulnerability, then being vulnerable. I've experienced so much grace in being known. And shame in being not known. [I was] put in the shadows, or ran to the shadows myself because I was afraid of transparency or vulnerability."
To Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Question of the Week: What are you looking forward to in summer? (Queue Olaf.)
Goofball Island: When have you been starstruck?
Helpful Links:
Revoice Conference (I'm going! You should too!): http://revoice.us
All But Invisible: Exploring Identity Questions at the Intersection of Faith, Gender, and Sexualityby Nate Collins
Question of the Week for Next Week: Which people groups (besides ones we have talked about on the podcast) are you passionate about?
We laughed a lot on this one.We cracked up, and went to deep heart places with Nate Collins, special guest, author, and president and founder of the Revoice Conference. We chatted about starstruck moments (who almost got taken down by Francis Chan's security team, hmmm, LAURIE?!), smelling like bourbon, identity, and giving the historically Christian LGBT+ conversation a new voice in the local church.
A favorite quote:
"The way the gospel is good news for me now," Nate said, "is by living transparently. When that requires vulnerability, then being vulnerable. I've experienced so much grace in being known. And shame in being not known. [I was] put in the shadows, or ran to the shadows myself because I was afraid of transparency or vulnerability."
To Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Question of the Week: What are you looking forward to in summer? (Queue Olaf.)
Goofball Island: When have you been starstruck?
Helpful Links:
Revoice Conference (I'm going! You should too!): http://revoice.us
All But Invisible: Exploring Identity Questions at the Intersection of Faith, Gender, and Sexualityby Nate Collins
Question of the Week for Next Week: Which people groups (besides ones we have talked about on the podcast) are you passionate about?
Episode 27: You and Me Forever: Chapters 6 and 7: What's Really Best for the Kids?
3.2.18
So...shocker: Parenting is hard. Also, life is hard. Today, we follow up with the brutally honest "Episode 24: Is There Hope for Us?" as well as discuss how we, as bleeding-heart parents, can be on mission (to make disciples) with our kids without hurting their hearts... How do we do that?
To Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Question of the Week: What is your biggest takeaway from this book?
Goofball Island: What was your favorite childhood TV show?
Helpful Links:
Laurie's post: The Day I Became Wonder Woman
Psychology Today: 10 Reasons Why Today's Teenagers Are So Anxious
Question of the Week for Next Week: What are you looking forward to this summer?
So...shocker: Parenting is hard. Also, life is hard. Today, we follow up with the brutally honest "Episode 24: Is There Hope for Us?" as well as discuss how we, as bleeding-heart parents, can be on mission (to make disciples) with our kids without hurting their hearts... How do we do that?
To Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Question of the Week: What is your biggest takeaway from this book?
Goofball Island: What was your favorite childhood TV show?
Helpful Links:
Laurie's post: The Day I Became Wonder Woman
Psychology Today: 10 Reasons Why Today's Teenagers Are So Anxious
Question of the Week for Next Week: What are you looking forward to this summer?
Episode 26: Marriage: What Is It Good For?
2.28.18
We have another guest! Dr. Branson Parler! To go with his movie star name and phD, Branson is FULL OF WISDOM! This was one of those conversations where Producer Steve, Matt, and I looked at each other while recording with our jaws dropped. He answered a lot of questions we had about the relationship between sexuality, married people, single people, and the Church.
Podcast Quotes:
"Paul can say, 'Stay single,' ...because the church is functioning as a family."
"Our bodies matter. Matter matters... The way God communicates his love to us is not just through this intellectual message that bounces off of us, the Word became flesh."
"Whether people are married or single, what everyone needs is a healing of our broken sexuality. It's not that marriage is this proper outlet for our lust. It is that lust needs to be killed across the board."
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Question of the Week: What is the top character quality you look for in a friend?
Goofball Island: Who was your childhood pet, and what was its tragic life ending?
Vehicle to get to Goofball Island: The dog van from Dumb and Dumber.
Helpful Links:
Branson's Blog: www.bransonparler.com
A super helpful (and well-liked) catechism he wrote on sexuality: https://www.bransonparler.com/blog/great-lakes-catechism-on-marriage-and-sexuality
Branson on The Center for Faith, Sexuality & Gender: http://www.centerforfaith.com/blog/what-our-weddings-say-about-marriage
Question of the Week for Next Week: What has this marriage series (walking through the 'You and Me Forever' book) taught you?
We have another guest! Dr. Branson Parler! To go with his movie star name and phD, Branson is FULL OF WISDOM! This was one of those conversations where Producer Steve, Matt, and I looked at each other while recording with our jaws dropped. He answered a lot of questions we had about the relationship between sexuality, married people, single people, and the Church.
Podcast Quotes:
"Paul can say, 'Stay single,' ...because the church is functioning as a family."
"Our bodies matter. Matter matters... The way God communicates his love to us is not just through this intellectual message that bounces off of us, the Word became flesh."
"Whether people are married or single, what everyone needs is a healing of our broken sexuality. It's not that marriage is this proper outlet for our lust. It is that lust needs to be killed across the board."
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Question of the Week: What is the top character quality you look for in a friend?
Goofball Island: Who was your childhood pet, and what was its tragic life ending?
Vehicle to get to Goofball Island: The dog van from Dumb and Dumber.
Helpful Links:
Branson's Blog: www.bransonparler.com
A super helpful (and well-liked) catechism he wrote on sexuality: https://www.bransonparler.com/blog/great-lakes-catechism-on-marriage-and-sexuality
Branson on The Center for Faith, Sexuality & Gender: http://www.centerforfaith.com/blog/what-our-weddings-say-about-marriage
Question of the Week for Next Week: What has this marriage series (walking through the 'You and Me Forever' book) taught you?
Episode 25: Friends in Low Places
2.16.18
How can you be a helpful friend to someone in pain? How can you be a helpful person in pain to your friends? How does co-dependency relate to this? We talk about it on the podcast with a guest, Tammy Perlmattur!
Tammy Perlmutter is founder and curator of The Mudroom, a collaborative blog encouraging women to speak truth, love hard, and enter in with each other, and co-founder of Deeply Rooted, a biannual worship, arts, and teaching gathering for women in Chicago. Tammy is a member of Redbud Writers Guild, an urban beekeeper, and lives in an intentional Christian community in Chicago.
We also talk lent, awkward clothes we used to wear (victorian lace boots? mullets? chopsticks in your hair?), favorite foods growing up (a whole loaf of bread on the table?), and women/friendship and same-sex attraction.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
How can you be a helpful friend to someone in pain? How can you be a helpful person in pain to your friends? How does co-dependency relate to this? We talk about it on the podcast with a guest, Tammy Perlmattur!
Tammy Perlmutter is founder and curator of The Mudroom, a collaborative blog encouraging women to speak truth, love hard, and enter in with each other, and co-founder of Deeply Rooted, a biannual worship, arts, and teaching gathering for women in Chicago. Tammy is a member of Redbud Writers Guild, an urban beekeeper, and lives in an intentional Christian community in Chicago.
We also talk lent, awkward clothes we used to wear (victorian lace boots? mullets? chopsticks in your hair?), favorite foods growing up (a whole loaf of bread on the table?), and women/friendship and same-sex attraction.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Episode 24: You and Me Forever// Chapter 5: Is There Hope For Us?
2.7.18
"Love... does not demand its own way" (1 Corinthians 13:5). This... this one is gritty. And beautiful. And sounds like two people pursuing God and each other in the midst of pain. It sounds a lot like real life. Today, on our nine-year anniversary, Matt and I open up about the last year-and-a-half of walking through the effects of trauma with a person. May it only bless you.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Question of the Week: What is something (pre-heaven) you are hopeful for?
Helpful Links: We are walking through this book (free on the app!). I quote this from RA Torrey: “We take the name of God upon our lips, but there is no conscious approach to God in our hearts. We are really taking the name of God in vain while we imagine we are praying to him... We should never utter one syllable of prayer either in public or in private, until we are definitely conscious that we have come into the presence of God, and are actually praying to Him.”--Rewards of Prayer, 5 in 1 Anthology.
I mention this blog post I wrote about anxiety right after Juliette was born, this post I wrote about "being okay with not being okay," and this post about journeying alongside someone who is processing trauma.
2.7.18
"Love... does not demand its own way" (1 Corinthians 13:5). This... this one is gritty. And beautiful. And sounds like two people pursuing God and each other in the midst of pain. It sounds a lot like real life. Today, on our nine-year anniversary, Matt and I open up about the last year-and-a-half of walking through the effects of trauma with a person. May it only bless you.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Question of the Week: What is something (pre-heaven) you are hopeful for?
Helpful Links: We are walking through this book (free on the app!). I quote this from RA Torrey: “We take the name of God upon our lips, but there is no conscious approach to God in our hearts. We are really taking the name of God in vain while we imagine we are praying to him... We should never utter one syllable of prayer either in public or in private, until we are definitely conscious that we have come into the presence of God, and are actually praying to Him.”--Rewards of Prayer, 5 in 1 Anthology.
I mention this blog post I wrote about anxiety right after Juliette was born, this post I wrote about "being okay with not being okay," and this post about journeying alongside someone who is processing trauma.
Episode 23: You and Me Forever// Chapter 4: Don't Waste Your Marriage
We talk birthday, which childhood movie traumatized you, and what have you said to friends when they say they can't "feel" and/or hear God's voice?
Here's good ol' Francis laying it down per usual: “I hear people complain that they don’t feel Jesus with them, they don’t experience the Holy Spirit. I usually ask them: Are you busy making disciples? ... If I want to find my friend Andrew, I can usually find him at the gym. If I want to find Adam, he’s probably at the beach. If I want to find Lisa, she’s probably at Target. If I want to find Jesus, I should share the gospel with someone. That’s where He will be. He is on the battlefield. He is pursuing the mission" (Chan, 100).
How can we pursue it, too--no matter our marital status?
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Question of the Week: How are you doing on your word for the year?
Helpful Link: We talk about when it is necessary to "be on mission while making disciples" while also getting soul care/counseling. Are the two incongruent? Here is a helpful Christianity Today article, "Evangelism, Meet Soul Care." Here's a quote:
"All true soul care requires us to come asking Lord, what do I need from you right now?Jesus gets this; he is continually meeting individuals with exactly what they need. He doesn’t come granting wishes. He comes perceiving our core need and invites us into acknowledging this in his presence. His tools are ever changing (mud and spit, fish, fig tree, water, words, etc.), yet his general method is not. First, he offers radical acceptance of the individual, often by breaking cultural barriers. Then he brings awareness to their hearts through questions that expose their motivations. Next he offers a new path of connection to the love of God specified to their exact inner needs and outer lives. Moving forward, this frees them to extravagantly love their neighbor."
We talk birthday, which childhood movie traumatized you, and what have you said to friends when they say they can't "feel" and/or hear God's voice?
Here's good ol' Francis laying it down per usual: “I hear people complain that they don’t feel Jesus with them, they don’t experience the Holy Spirit. I usually ask them: Are you busy making disciples? ... If I want to find my friend Andrew, I can usually find him at the gym. If I want to find Adam, he’s probably at the beach. If I want to find Lisa, she’s probably at Target. If I want to find Jesus, I should share the gospel with someone. That’s where He will be. He is on the battlefield. He is pursuing the mission" (Chan, 100).
How can we pursue it, too--no matter our marital status?
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Question of the Week: How are you doing on your word for the year?
Helpful Link: We talk about when it is necessary to "be on mission while making disciples" while also getting soul care/counseling. Are the two incongruent? Here is a helpful Christianity Today article, "Evangelism, Meet Soul Care." Here's a quote:
"All true soul care requires us to come asking Lord, what do I need from you right now?Jesus gets this; he is continually meeting individuals with exactly what they need. He doesn’t come granting wishes. He comes perceiving our core need and invites us into acknowledging this in his presence. His tools are ever changing (mud and spit, fish, fig tree, water, words, etc.), yet his general method is not. First, he offers radical acceptance of the individual, often by breaking cultural barriers. Then he brings awareness to their hearts through questions that expose their motivations. Next he offers a new path of connection to the love of God specified to their exact inner needs and outer lives. Moving forward, this frees them to extravagantly love their neighbor."
Episode 22: You and Me Forever// Chapter 3: Learn to Fight Well
Matt, Producer Steve, and I (Laurie) have a guest! We asked last week for feedback on this marriage book and conversation from single people, and my friend Joie VanHolstein answered the call! We chat about how we have seen Jesus romance us lately, and which game show (or reality show) we would unquestionably win (and which we would undoubtedly fail). The Heart of the Matter focuses on fighting through humility, how people who have been affected by trauma can "die to self" without getting re-traumatized, and taking your hands off of your of your own throat as you are in process.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Podcast Extra: I quoted this: "If you want to build something significant for the Kingdom of God on earth, don't build a ministry, build a family." --Jeremy Riddle
Helpful Link: Read or listen to the book for free here! (Or just download the "You and Me Forever" app.)
Question of the Week: What childhood movie traumatized you as a child?
Matt, Producer Steve, and I (Laurie) have a guest! We asked last week for feedback on this marriage book and conversation from single people, and my friend Joie VanHolstein answered the call! We chat about how we have seen Jesus romance us lately, and which game show (or reality show) we would unquestionably win (and which we would undoubtedly fail). The Heart of the Matter focuses on fighting through humility, how people who have been affected by trauma can "die to self" without getting re-traumatized, and taking your hands off of your of your own throat as you are in process.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Podcast Extra: I quoted this: "If you want to build something significant for the Kingdom of God on earth, don't build a ministry, build a family." --Jeremy Riddle
Helpful Link: Read or listen to the book for free here! (Or just download the "You and Me Forever" app.)
Question of the Week: What childhood movie traumatized you as a child?
Episode 21: You and Me Forever// Chapter 2: Pursue the Perfect Marriage
Matt Krieg, Producer Steve and I (Laurie) chat about chapter two of Francis and Lisa Chan's book You and Me Forever. Per usual, deep and silly conversations ensue including: What's up with drivers in California and in the Midwest? {and} What would our marriages look like IRL if the gospel was on display in them?
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Podcast Extra: I refer to Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas here, and this podcast about why God made us sexual by Dr. Juli Slattery.
Helpful Link: Read or listen to the book for free here! (Or just download the "You and Me Forever" app.)
Question of the Week: What is one way you saw Jesus romance/pursue/show himself to you this week?
Matt Krieg, Producer Steve and I (Laurie) chat about chapter two of Francis and Lisa Chan's book You and Me Forever. Per usual, deep and silly conversations ensue including: What's up with drivers in California and in the Midwest? {and} What would our marriages look like IRL if the gospel was on display in them?
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Podcast Extra: I refer to Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas here, and this podcast about why God made us sexual by Dr. Juli Slattery.
Helpful Link: Read or listen to the book for free here! (Or just download the "You and Me Forever" app.)
Question of the Week: What is one way you saw Jesus romance/pursue/show himself to you this week?
Episode 20: You and Me Forever // Chapter 1: Marriage Is Not That Great
Do people in mixed-orientation marriages have a different Bible they live by? Do they have a different set of marital guidelines? In a word: No. We don't. It only seems that way because we--married and single--have been missing the point not only of married life but of LIFE.
Life isn't about us. Is isn't about our happiness. It isn't about communication. It isn't about more dates. It isn't about fulfilling our needs. Life is all about Jesus.
For the next seven weeks we will be walking through Francis and Lisa Chan's book, "You and Me Forever," to see how we have missed this. We will get gritty and honest about real-life marital pain, but we hope to laugh and leave these weeks encouraged to build the Kingdom together: married, single, dating--however God has called us.
This week (per usual) we also talk randomness such as Instant-Pots and the scary-amazing show Stranger Things.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Podcast Extra: To get two free copies of the book "You And Me Forever," be the first to answer our question of the week, and email the answer to podcast@himhministries.com.
Helpful Link: To read the ebook or listen to it along with us for free, visit youandmeforever.org and download the free app.
Question of the Week: What do you hope to receive from this seven-week study?
Do people in mixed-orientation marriages have a different Bible they live by? Do they have a different set of marital guidelines? In a word: No. We don't. It only seems that way because we--married and single--have been missing the point not only of married life but of LIFE.
Life isn't about us. Is isn't about our happiness. It isn't about communication. It isn't about more dates. It isn't about fulfilling our needs. Life is all about Jesus.
For the next seven weeks we will be walking through Francis and Lisa Chan's book, "You and Me Forever," to see how we have missed this. We will get gritty and honest about real-life marital pain, but we hope to laugh and leave these weeks encouraged to build the Kingdom together: married, single, dating--however God has called us.
This week (per usual) we also talk randomness such as Instant-Pots and the scary-amazing show Stranger Things.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Podcast Extra: To get two free copies of the book "You And Me Forever," be the first to answer our question of the week, and email the answer to podcast@himhministries.com.
Helpful Link: To read the ebook or listen to it along with us for free, visit youandmeforever.org and download the free app.
Question of the Week: What do you hope to receive from this seven-week study?
Episode 19: I'm Coming Out // Bonus Christmas Podcast
12.22.17
If you choose a life of vulnerability, you choose a life of continuously coming out--no matter your story, no matter your vulnerable places, no matter your struggle. You are always coming out into authenticity. Today, I (Laurie) share one of the first times I came out to a friend. And this is cool: This friend, Amber McClurg, is on the show! Hear Amber and I talk about that first (quite awkward) coming out experience, and what good came from it in spite of the awkwardness.
Additionally, Matt, Producer Steve, Amber and I chat about our words for 2018, things we don't like sharing, how to know if someone is safe to come out to, having a "healthy mistrust of yourself," heart-focused accountability, how we need more than one friend, and the risks of friendship.
Podcast Extras: I quote this: “In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out. By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all his facets... Hence true Friendship is the least jealous of loves. Two friends delight to be joined by a third, and three by a fourth, if only the newcomer is qualified to become a real friend. They can then say, as the blessed souls say in Dante, 'Here comes one who will augment our loves' For in this love 'to divide is not to take away.'”—CS Lewis, The Four Loves
I mentioned how Amber and I had accountability questions. Here they are:
Helpful Link: Our friend Hayley Mullins wrote this article, "When a Loved One Comes Out." It could be helpful for us as we learn to receive each other authentically.
Question of the Week: What was the best present you gave and received this year?
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
BONUS PODCAST: Six extra minutes to spread Christmas joy. :)
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
12.22.17
If you choose a life of vulnerability, you choose a life of continuously coming out--no matter your story, no matter your vulnerable places, no matter your struggle. You are always coming out into authenticity. Today, I (Laurie) share one of the first times I came out to a friend. And this is cool: This friend, Amber McClurg, is on the show! Hear Amber and I talk about that first (quite awkward) coming out experience, and what good came from it in spite of the awkwardness.
Additionally, Matt, Producer Steve, Amber and I chat about our words for 2018, things we don't like sharing, how to know if someone is safe to come out to, having a "healthy mistrust of yourself," heart-focused accountability, how we need more than one friend, and the risks of friendship.
Podcast Extras: I quote this: “In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out. By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all his facets... Hence true Friendship is the least jealous of loves. Two friends delight to be joined by a third, and three by a fourth, if only the newcomer is qualified to become a real friend. They can then say, as the blessed souls say in Dante, 'Here comes one who will augment our loves' For in this love 'to divide is not to take away.'”—CS Lewis, The Four Loves
I mentioned how Amber and I had accountability questions. Here they are:
- What number were you on the lust/struggling with sin scale this week? Why do you think that is? [8-10 meaning I am imminently going to do something I shouldn't. 1-3 meaning no problem at all. I, Laurie, usually hang out at a 4 range, so anything higher is something to note.]
- Is there anyone you spent extended time thinking about this week?
- What do you think you might be missing/anxious about/angry about/sad about in your heart that is driving these thoughts?
- What have you clicked on, read about, or looked at that stirred lustful thoughts in you?
- What are the God-glorifying pieces of this that you can thank God for? (Desire for intimacy, relationships, connection)
- How is your shame scale this week? Why do you think that is? [8-10 meaning I really hate myself. 1-3 meaning I am doing well in my self-perception.]
- How is your respect and love of [your spouse/those with whom you are in a committed friendship (read: like the disciples)/etc.] this week? Why do you think that is?
- What, of the above, do you need to confess as sin? (Lust, clicking, idolizing, etc.) What are you confessing as sin that you don't need to? (Temptation, etc.)
Helpful Link: Our friend Hayley Mullins wrote this article, "When a Loved One Comes Out." It could be helpful for us as we learn to receive each other authentically.
Question of the Week: What was the best present you gave and received this year?
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
BONUS PODCAST: Six extra minutes to spread Christmas joy. :)
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Episode 18: The Loneliness of Leadership
12.15.17
Are you a leader? (Is everyone a leader?) Do you ever feel lonely as a leader? Why is that? What can we do about it? We talk about loneliness on the podcast today as well as big changes that are happening at HIMH (no Matt??!), people who like the Trans-Siberian Orchestra (ew), and visit Gory Island as opposed to Goofball Island to brag about how we got our childhood scars. (Thanks for carrying me like a lamb in Jesus's arms, sixth-oldest sibling, Suzie!)
Helpful Link: Check out our blog post here about the changes at HIMH.
Question of the Week: What is your word for 2018?
Podcast Extra: We mentioned Questions for Self-Reflection our mentor, David Beelen, wrote. Here they are for you:
1. Is my calling sure?
2. Is my vision clear?
3. Is my passion hot?
4. Is my character submitted to Christ?
5. Is my pride subdued?
6. Are my fears at bay?
7. Are interior issues undermining my leadership?
8. Are my ears open to the Spirit's whisper?
9. Is my pace sustainable?
10. Are my gifts developing?
11. Is my heart for God increasing?
12. Is my capacity for loving deepening?
Also, read this blog post for more on the changes in the ministry.
12.15.17
Are you a leader? (Is everyone a leader?) Do you ever feel lonely as a leader? Why is that? What can we do about it? We talk about loneliness on the podcast today as well as big changes that are happening at HIMH (no Matt??!), people who like the Trans-Siberian Orchestra (ew), and visit Gory Island as opposed to Goofball Island to brag about how we got our childhood scars. (Thanks for carrying me like a lamb in Jesus's arms, sixth-oldest sibling, Suzie!)
Helpful Link: Check out our blog post here about the changes at HIMH.
Question of the Week: What is your word for 2018?
Podcast Extra: We mentioned Questions for Self-Reflection our mentor, David Beelen, wrote. Here they are for you:
1. Is my calling sure?
2. Is my vision clear?
3. Is my passion hot?
4. Is my character submitted to Christ?
5. Is my pride subdued?
6. Are my fears at bay?
7. Are interior issues undermining my leadership?
8. Are my ears open to the Spirit's whisper?
9. Is my pace sustainable?
10. Are my gifts developing?
11. Is my heart for God increasing?
12. Is my capacity for loving deepening?
Also, read this blog post for more on the changes in the ministry.
Episode 17: The James Progression
12.15.17
Let's talk temptation! Often, temptation is viewed as the line before falling into sin. But is there another way to look at temptation that is not so laden in shame and fear? Things we also discussed were Matt's silent retreat (where Laurie didn't respect his silent boundaries!), what do we hope for the new year, and best dates ever.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Podcast Extra:
“Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death” (James 1:14-15). In counseling, Matt uses what he calls, “The James Progression” based off of these verses to help clients self-diagnose what their heart needs in temptation. Core Needs ----- > Desires ----- > Temptation ----- > Sin ----- > Death
Question of the Week: At what point is it Christmas for you? What do you need to eat, hear, or do?
12.15.17
Let's talk temptation! Often, temptation is viewed as the line before falling into sin. But is there another way to look at temptation that is not so laden in shame and fear? Things we also discussed were Matt's silent retreat (where Laurie didn't respect his silent boundaries!), what do we hope for the new year, and best dates ever.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Podcast Extra:
“Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death” (James 1:14-15). In counseling, Matt uses what he calls, “The James Progression” based off of these verses to help clients self-diagnose what their heart needs in temptation. Core Needs ----- > Desires ----- > Temptation ----- > Sin ----- > Death
Question of the Week: At what point is it Christmas for you? What do you need to eat, hear, or do?
Episode 16: Concern and Hope for the Church
12.1.17
It's easy to look around the world and become discouraged. The polarities on any conversation can make a person either want to stand up and scream or dig their heads in the sand and hide. Is there any gift to choosing neither option? Is there another way to whether the storm of extremes? That's what we talk about with our friend and guest, Professor Matthew Tuininga, professor of moral theology at Calvin Seminary.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Google Play Link {I finally figured out how to add it here! Huzzah!}
Helpful Link: Check out Matthew Tuininga's page here!
Question of the Week: What is your hope for the coming year? (In your life, in the country, in your church?) Email us at podcast@himhministries.com to respond or comment here.
12.1.17
It's easy to look around the world and become discouraged. The polarities on any conversation can make a person either want to stand up and scream or dig their heads in the sand and hide. Is there any gift to choosing neither option? Is there another way to whether the storm of extremes? That's what we talk about with our friend and guest, Professor Matthew Tuininga, professor of moral theology at Calvin Seminary.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Google Play Link {I finally figured out how to add it here! Huzzah!}
Helpful Link: Check out Matthew Tuininga's page here!
Question of the Week: What is your hope for the coming year? (In your life, in the country, in your church?) Email us at podcast@himhministries.com to respond or comment here.
Episode 15: The New Health and Wealth Gospel
11.16.17
Sometimes, Millennials can look at the Christians before them and judge those who have believed a gospel of, "If I pursue God, I will have a lot of money and never get sick." However, Millennials can have their own version of a "health and wealth gospel" in the way we believe, "If I pursue God, I will be happy." But is this true? With SPECIAL GUEST Greg Coles (author of Single Gay Christian) we talk about this question as well as our favorite parts of the Caring Well Conference and Christmas traditions.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Helpful Link: An excerpt from Greg's blog. You can also check out our conference page.
Question of the Week: What is one way you want to look more like the Church this holiday season? (Invite someone to share the holidays with you? Donate? Serve?)
11.16.17
Sometimes, Millennials can look at the Christians before them and judge those who have believed a gospel of, "If I pursue God, I will have a lot of money and never get sick." However, Millennials can have their own version of a "health and wealth gospel" in the way we believe, "If I pursue God, I will be happy." But is this true? With SPECIAL GUEST Greg Coles (author of Single Gay Christian) we talk about this question as well as our favorite parts of the Caring Well Conference and Christmas traditions.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Helpful Link: An excerpt from Greg's blog. You can also check out our conference page.
Question of the Week: What is one way you want to look more like the Church this holiday season? (Invite someone to share the holidays with you? Donate? Serve?)
Episode 14: Idolatry of Sex
How can we as the Church look more like the Church? It starts with looking at what we have misperceived to be the ultimate connector for too long: sex. We need to confess our idolatry of sex, and lean into relationships in a new way. The crew also discussed worst dates and Christmas favorites. (Hallmark movies? Yay? Nay?)
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Helpful Link: This TED radio hour episode on Maslow's Human Needs was mentioned.
How can we as the Church look more like the Church? It starts with looking at what we have misperceived to be the ultimate connector for too long: sex. We need to confess our idolatry of sex, and lean into relationships in a new way. The crew also discussed worst dates and Christmas favorites. (Hallmark movies? Yay? Nay?)
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Helpful Link: This TED radio hour episode on Maslow's Human Needs was mentioned.
Episode 13: Marriage Matters
How can we cultivate intimacy in marriage when we're in a tough season? But wait! This track is not just for married folk. People who are in relationships of any nature will benefit from practical ways to lean into relationships when they are not easy.
Also discussed are things to bring on a desert island (hint: bag o' books) and swallowing the first five sentences you want to say when someone triggers you.
Helpful Link: We talk about sticking with marriage no matter what, but know if you are in an abusive relationship, we are not encouraging staying. Please read this article "Enough is Enough" with Gary Thomas for more: www.garythomas.com/enough-enough/
Question of the Week: What's the worst date you've been on?
How can we cultivate intimacy in marriage when we're in a tough season? But wait! This track is not just for married folk. People who are in relationships of any nature will benefit from practical ways to lean into relationships when they are not easy.
Also discussed are things to bring on a desert island (hint: bag o' books) and swallowing the first five sentences you want to say when someone triggers you.
Helpful Link: We talk about sticking with marriage no matter what, but know if you are in an abusive relationship, we are not encouraging staying. Please read this article "Enough is Enough" with Gary Thomas for more: www.garythomas.com/enough-enough/
Question of the Week: What's the worst date you've been on?
Episode 12: Heart-to-Heart Prayer with Carolyn
11.27.17
Laurie's "Spiritual Dumbledore" is in the house! Often when Laurie speaks she talks about her mentor/counselor, Carolyn Schroeder. Carolyn was instrumental in Laurie's decision to follow Christ no matter what. Matt, Laurie, Producer Steve, and Carolyn talk Heart to Heart Prayer, how to find your own spiritual Dumbledore (AKA...a good counselor or mentor), and discuss what they wish they hadn't quit from childhood.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Helpful Link: To learn more about where Carolyn was trained visit HealingCare.org.
Question of the Week: What's your current favorite form of prayer? Psalms? Short "Help me"? Lament?
11.27.17
Laurie's "Spiritual Dumbledore" is in the house! Often when Laurie speaks she talks about her mentor/counselor, Carolyn Schroeder. Carolyn was instrumental in Laurie's decision to follow Christ no matter what. Matt, Laurie, Producer Steve, and Carolyn talk Heart to Heart Prayer, how to find your own spiritual Dumbledore (AKA...a good counselor or mentor), and discuss what they wish they hadn't quit from childhood.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Helpful Link: To learn more about where Carolyn was trained visit HealingCare.org.
Question of the Week: What's your current favorite form of prayer? Psalms? Short "Help me"? Lament?
Episode 11: Forgiveness is the Worst Best, Too
10.21.17
How do we forgive each other in a way that's less gritting our teeth when the offender is around, and more genuinely loving the offender? Matt and Laurie pick up the story when Laurie had a hard time forgiving Matt after he came forward with secret porn use. Also heard this week is a story about when Laurie wasn't served her favorite ice cream treat because it had too many calories. (Oh, California!)
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Helpful Links: A blog post from years ago titled, "Shards of Forgiveness" documents this season in Matt and Laurie's marriage, and the latest post, "Against You, and You Alone."
Question of the Week: What was your experience with prayer growing up?
10.21.17
How do we forgive each other in a way that's less gritting our teeth when the offender is around, and more genuinely loving the offender? Matt and Laurie pick up the story when Laurie had a hard time forgiving Matt after he came forward with secret porn use. Also heard this week is a story about when Laurie wasn't served her favorite ice cream treat because it had too many calories. (Oh, California!)
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Helpful Links: A blog post from years ago titled, "Shards of Forgiveness" documents this season in Matt and Laurie's marriage, and the latest post, "Against You, and You Alone."
Question of the Week: What was your experience with prayer growing up?
Episode 10: Lament Is the Worst Best
10.13.17
Episode 10, y'all! To celebrate the team did a Dad Joke Competition! (Watch it on YouTube to see their expressions here: youtu.be/AYmaGReukJM). Laurie, Matt, and Producer Steve also talk fasting fails, the angst about how no one can ever be happy or sad enough with you, "what is lament?" and Laurie's specific lament after Matt came forward with his pornography addiction.
Helpful Link: A post Laurie wrote, "What the world (my world) needs now are honest, little laments."
Question of the Week: Who is someone who has been difficult for you to forgive and why?
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
10.13.17
Episode 10, y'all! To celebrate the team did a Dad Joke Competition! (Watch it on YouTube to see their expressions here: youtu.be/AYmaGReukJM). Laurie, Matt, and Producer Steve also talk fasting fails, the angst about how no one can ever be happy or sad enough with you, "what is lament?" and Laurie's specific lament after Matt came forward with his pornography addiction.
Helpful Link: A post Laurie wrote, "What the world (my world) needs now are honest, little laments."
Question of the Week: Who is someone who has been difficult for you to forgive and why?
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 9: Pillar Practices
10.6.17
Pastor Marvin Williams of Trinity Church in East Lansing, MI joins Matt and Laurie on location (or off location?) at Our Daily Bread studios. (Thanks, ODB!) Things discussed are The Daily Examen, favorite and least favorite chores, true self/false self, and when the Holy Spirit convicts you to go back and apologize for something no one knows you did wrong. Thanks for your authenticity and courage as always, Pastor Marvin.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Helpful Link: Matt and Laurie talk alongside Pastor Marvin Williams at Trinity Church two years ago
Question of the Week: When have you fasted, and how did that go for you?
10.6.17
Pastor Marvin Williams of Trinity Church in East Lansing, MI joins Matt and Laurie on location (or off location?) at Our Daily Bread studios. (Thanks, ODB!) Things discussed are The Daily Examen, favorite and least favorite chores, true self/false self, and when the Holy Spirit convicts you to go back and apologize for something no one knows you did wrong. Thanks for your authenticity and courage as always, Pastor Marvin.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Helpful Link: Matt and Laurie talk alongside Pastor Marvin Williams at Trinity Church two years ago
Question of the Week: When have you fasted, and how did that go for you?
Episode 8: Pillar People
Pastor David Beelen, Matt and Laurie's mentor and the chairman of the board at HIMH, discusses people in his life who help to point him to Christ. Hearing his people opened up our eyes to see which roles have been unfulfilled in our lives. We need people in our lives to help point us to Jesus, and it's nice to hear the roles.
Pastor David Beelen, Matt and Laurie's mentor and the chairman of the board at HIMH, discusses people in his life who help to point him to Christ. Hearing his people opened up our eyes to see which roles have been unfulfilled in our lives. We need people in our lives to help point us to Jesus, and it's nice to hear the roles.
Episode 7: Holy Hate?
9.21.17
Welcome back! Laurie, Matt, and Producer Steve discuss whether or not we can hate people with a holy hate. They also chatted about what the crew might want to do if they weren't in the job they were in, Dwight K. Schrute, Mutual of Omaha (listen to the whole podcast for a secret track!), dungarees, and how we can love everyone from Neo-Nazis to each other in the room.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Helpful Link: Laurie's Blog, "Why I Can't Hate People Anymore"
Question of the Week: Who are your Pillar People? Who are people who are critically necessary to helping you develop a gospel-centered identity?
9.21.17
Welcome back! Laurie, Matt, and Producer Steve discuss whether or not we can hate people with a holy hate. They also chatted about what the crew might want to do if they weren't in the job they were in, Dwight K. Schrute, Mutual of Omaha (listen to the whole podcast for a secret track!), dungarees, and how we can love everyone from Neo-Nazis to each other in the room.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Helpful Link: Laurie's Blog, "Why I Can't Hate People Anymore"
Question of the Week: Who are your Pillar People? Who are people who are critically necessary to helping you develop a gospel-centered identity?
Episode 6: TogOtherness
9.15.17
After Laurie, Matt, and Steve recorded this podcast and the next one, the three of them stared at one another saying, "Wow." They have never had so much fun and felt such a Holy Spirit movement while talking on a microphone.
The focus of this episode is feeling "other" (ie. when you feel like you don't belong). The group will not simply throw logs on a fire of Church-angsting; they will turn the the conversation back around to how they "other" others. They also talk about clown music (Goofball Island got a soundbite!), Cincinnati-style chili (ie. dog food, according to Laurie), and how it sounds when two therapists golf together.
SoundCloud Link
9.15.17
After Laurie, Matt, and Steve recorded this podcast and the next one, the three of them stared at one another saying, "Wow." They have never had so much fun and felt such a Holy Spirit movement while talking on a microphone.
The focus of this episode is feeling "other" (ie. when you feel like you don't belong). The group will not simply throw logs on a fire of Church-angsting; they will turn the the conversation back around to how they "other" others. They also talk about clown music (Goofball Island got a soundbite!), Cincinnati-style chili (ie. dog food, according to Laurie), and how it sounds when two therapists golf together.
SoundCloud Link
Episode 5: Producer Steve's Story
9.7.17
When Producer Steve agreed to be a part of the HIMH podcast, he thought he would simply push buttons and do a little editing. Oh, no. Not when you're hanging out with Matt and Laurie. You got to talk deep. And they are grateful for it. In this episode, Steve shares his story of finding God as he wrestled through addiction, pain, and the hole in his heart. (Also: The team discusses personal idiosyncrasies including mispronouncing words, never touching metal, and Wicked Witch of the Westing their shoes.)
SoundCloud Link
9.7.17
When Producer Steve agreed to be a part of the HIMH podcast, he thought he would simply push buttons and do a little editing. Oh, no. Not when you're hanging out with Matt and Laurie. You got to talk deep. And they are grateful for it. In this episode, Steve shares his story of finding God as he wrestled through addiction, pain, and the hole in his heart. (Also: The team discusses personal idiosyncrasies including mispronouncing words, never touching metal, and Wicked Witch of the Westing their shoes.)
SoundCloud Link
Episode 4: That Hole in My Heart
9.4.17
9.4.17
Welcome back! Today, Matt, Laurie, and Producer Steve talk about embarrassing moments (warning: they include facial bodily fluids), and the model Matt uses almost every day while he works with clients. This is a do-not-miss podcast to understand the Hole in My Heart Model. Core Needs are mentioned and can be found here.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 3: What's the Story, Laurie?
9.4.17
Today, we hear Laurie's story...thus far. (Aren't we all in process?) Matt, Laurie, and Producer Steve also discuss every day moments when we know we are loved, where we would like to apparate (or use Floo powder), and letting yourself be messy.
SoundCloud Link
9.4.17
Today, we hear Laurie's story...thus far. (Aren't we all in process?) Matt, Laurie, and Producer Steve also discuss every day moments when we know we are loved, where we would like to apparate (or use Floo powder), and letting yourself be messy.
SoundCloud Link
Episode 2: What's the Facts, Matt?
8.31.17
Yes, it's a dumb title. Good episode, though. In this podcast we talk Star Wars books, what does it mean to be "deep," escapism, and hear Matt's story...thus far.
SoundCloud Link
8.31.17
Yes, it's a dumb title. Good episode, though. In this podcast we talk Star Wars books, what does it mean to be "deep," escapism, and hear Matt's story...thus far.
SoundCloud Link
Episode 1: Getting to Know You
8.31.17
What's the HIMH Podcast all about? Through a series of random questions, Laurie, Matt, and Steve answer that question...in a roundabout way.
SoundCloud Link
8.31.17
What's the HIMH Podcast all about? Through a series of random questions, Laurie, Matt, and Steve answer that question...in a roundabout way.
SoundCloud Link