|
The purpose of the Hole in My Heart Podcast is to explore how the gospel is good news for everyone every day.
Most often, Laurie, teacher and author, Matt, licensed therapist and "argyle expert," and Steve, the producer and "the most professional radio voice among us," engage where the gospel intersects sexuality and gender, but overall, the trio seek to place the sexuality/gender conversation in the midst of other real-life stories of the practical, gritty good news of the gospel. It's fun. It's deep. Join them. |
Episode 105: Our First Study! With Matt and Laurie
Guys. We wrote a study! And it's been published!
I--Laurie--began writing this while I was walking out my discipleship journey with my mentor, Carolyn. I take the lessons she taught me, sprinkle additional ones God has brought me through over the years, and invite you to join me on the journey.
We explore things like how to listen to God, lament, what to do with temptation, how to process shame, Core Needs, and lots more.
This is literally the book I wish I had been able to walk through when I was wrestling the most with my sexuality.
It is zero percent conversion therapy. It is all the gospel's good news for my version of broken sexuality, too.
This study is meant to be done in mentorship pairs, groups, or on your own. If you have been wishing/hoping/praying for a tangible something disciple-y to do with someone or as someone who experiences broken sexuality similarly to the way I do, this is our gift to you.
Practically, here is the gift I can offer you! FOR PODCAST LISTENERS starting now to the end of January 2020, order the book and videos on our site--using the code PODCAST, and get it all for $19.99.
The episode today explores more of the how, why, and what of the book (with Matt interviewing me!).
Thanks for caring about this decade-long work of my heart. Love you, guys.
Highlights:
“I said to God, ‘If I make it through this hell season . . . I’d love an opportunity to talk to even one other person who is even a half-step behind me.’ And I started writing.” --Laurie Krieg
“This is not gay-to-straight sort of reparative therapy junk. This is: Can you walk into this third, middle, suffering-well path—with whatever version of broken sexuality you have--and can you encounter God there?" --Laurie Krieg
"We Can. Not. Do. This. Without you. Ruthlessly eliminate sin in your life. Ruthlessly eliminate shame. Shred that. Start a group with your friends--whether it’s a Journey Well group or whatever ... Get in. Come shoulder-to-shoulder with us." --Laurie Krieg
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Spotify Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
I--Laurie--began writing this while I was walking out my discipleship journey with my mentor, Carolyn. I take the lessons she taught me, sprinkle additional ones God has brought me through over the years, and invite you to join me on the journey.
We explore things like how to listen to God, lament, what to do with temptation, how to process shame, Core Needs, and lots more.
This is literally the book I wish I had been able to walk through when I was wrestling the most with my sexuality.
It is zero percent conversion therapy. It is all the gospel's good news for my version of broken sexuality, too.
This study is meant to be done in mentorship pairs, groups, or on your own. If you have been wishing/hoping/praying for a tangible something disciple-y to do with someone or as someone who experiences broken sexuality similarly to the way I do, this is our gift to you.
Practically, here is the gift I can offer you! FOR PODCAST LISTENERS starting now to the end of January 2020, order the book and videos on our site--using the code PODCAST, and get it all for $19.99.
The episode today explores more of the how, why, and what of the book (with Matt interviewing me!).
Thanks for caring about this decade-long work of my heart. Love you, guys.
Highlights:
“I said to God, ‘If I make it through this hell season . . . I’d love an opportunity to talk to even one other person who is even a half-step behind me.’ And I started writing.” --Laurie Krieg
“This is not gay-to-straight sort of reparative therapy junk. This is: Can you walk into this third, middle, suffering-well path—with whatever version of broken sexuality you have--and can you encounter God there?" --Laurie Krieg
"We Can. Not. Do. This. Without you. Ruthlessly eliminate sin in your life. Ruthlessly eliminate shame. Shred that. Start a group with your friends--whether it’s a Journey Well group or whatever ... Get in. Come shoulder-to-shoulder with us." --Laurie Krieg
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Spotify Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 104.5: Merry Christmas from the Krieg Kids
Let's just have a little fun, yeah?
Gwyn and Juliette Krieg, Matt and Laurie's two oldest kids, come into the studio to discuss favorite parts about Christmas, what to do when you feel lonely and there is no one to hug, and--because we can't stop won't stop--what marriage means to them.
Merry Christmas, podcast fam!
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Spotify Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Gwyn and Juliette Krieg, Matt and Laurie's two oldest kids, come into the studio to discuss favorite parts about Christmas, what to do when you feel lonely and there is no one to hug, and--because we can't stop won't stop--what marriage means to them.
Merry Christmas, podcast fam!
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Spotify Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 104: Practically Living LIfe in the Presence of God with Ken Boa
Okay, guys. This one.
I don't think we have ever been as surprised as we were with Kenneth Boa. He is a highly accomplished scholar, author, and teacher--with four degrees (and two doctoral degrees)--and good grief: When we asked him the questions we ask everyone (about when the gospel was first good news for him) we were floored.
This guy came to Christ while on an LSD trip during the summer of love in the 1960s. Yep. You heard it here, guys. You have to listen to understand and believe how God did it.
After recovering from our shock, we were surprised again: Ken is not just an academic guy with degrees and books littering his office; Ken is someone who is alert to the presence of God.
Come sit with us, hear his left-turn gospel story, and learn practical ways to experience the presence of God.
Highlights:
"We used to work with a lot of hippies (it takes one to know one), but we never told them to get off drugs. We told them about Jesus. You will never get rid of something by trying to get rid of it. That's extinction. You'll never do it. Instead, you need replacement: Replace the inferior with a greater good.... Then, finding that, you'll realize that's what you were looking for all along." --Ken Boa
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Spotify Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
I don't think we have ever been as surprised as we were with Kenneth Boa. He is a highly accomplished scholar, author, and teacher--with four degrees (and two doctoral degrees)--and good grief: When we asked him the questions we ask everyone (about when the gospel was first good news for him) we were floored.
This guy came to Christ while on an LSD trip during the summer of love in the 1960s. Yep. You heard it here, guys. You have to listen to understand and believe how God did it.
After recovering from our shock, we were surprised again: Ken is not just an academic guy with degrees and books littering his office; Ken is someone who is alert to the presence of God.
Come sit with us, hear his left-turn gospel story, and learn practical ways to experience the presence of God.
Highlights:
"We used to work with a lot of hippies (it takes one to know one), but we never told them to get off drugs. We told them about Jesus. You will never get rid of something by trying to get rid of it. That's extinction. You'll never do it. Instead, you need replacement: Replace the inferior with a greater good.... Then, finding that, you'll realize that's what you were looking for all along." --Ken Boa
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Spotify Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 103: When to Walk Away with Gary Thomas
Talking about walking away from toxic people can feel like a too-challenging (and maybe unbiblical?) conversation. But shoot: Relationship expert and author, Gary Thomas, convinced us through his latest book and this interview that knowing when to walk away from toxic people is a critical practice for Christians.
Jesus walked away from toxic people (or let them walk away from Him), and we should to ... for the sake of the Kingdom.
Why? How?
We dive in with Gary, and explore toxic discipleship, marriages, friendships, and the most critical one for us: how we can stop being toxic to ourselves.
Highlights:
"Jesus chose his disciples and so should we." --Gary Thomas
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Spotify Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Jesus walked away from toxic people (or let them walk away from Him), and we should to ... for the sake of the Kingdom.
Why? How?
We dive in with Gary, and explore toxic discipleship, marriages, friendships, and the most critical one for us: how we can stop being toxic to ourselves.
Highlights:
"Jesus chose his disciples and so should we." --Gary Thomas
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Spotify Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 102: Ministry Update and Q & A with
Matt & Laurie
Guys? We got some big changes coming to Hole in My Heart Ministries, and we are excited to share them with you today.
In addition to the changes, we are exploring a couple of your questions with some answers:
Why does marriage have to be between one man and one woman? (We share our top three--well, four--favorite reasons.)
How do we walk with and speak truth to a believer who believes a same-sex, romantic relationship is right for them? (We offer some specific help.)
Let's dig in!
Highlight:
"We are in a very hot conversation. For our family, the Kriegs, to be financially dependent on a tax-[write-off] line ... just isn't wisdom. Matt and I are definitely willing to suffer. We have suffered in this ministry. But it was like God was saying, 'I want you to avoid unnecessary suffering.'" --Laurie
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Spotify Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
For more on the ministry shift, click here.
In addition to the changes, we are exploring a couple of your questions with some answers:
Why does marriage have to be between one man and one woman? (We share our top three--well, four--favorite reasons.)
How do we walk with and speak truth to a believer who believes a same-sex, romantic relationship is right for them? (We offer some specific help.)
Let's dig in!
Highlight:
"We are in a very hot conversation. For our family, the Kriegs, to be financially dependent on a tax-[write-off] line ... just isn't wisdom. Matt and I are definitely willing to suffer. We have suffered in this ministry. But it was like God was saying, 'I want you to avoid unnecessary suffering.'" --Laurie
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Spotify Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
For more on the ministry shift, click here.
Episode 101: Exchanging Our Dreams for God's desires with Lauren Chandler
God puts a dream inside of all of us.
Wait. Does He?
How does that work? And how do you know if it is a selfish one or something that is literally from Him? And what about those of us who feel like expendable folks--with "worthless" or no dreams?
Lauren Chandler, wife to Matt Chandler (yes, that Matt Chandler), and mother of three, is a worship leader, author, and helper of us in this conversation about how can we balance our dreams with God's desires.
It's a poignant interview that includes God taking a starry-eyed Lauren through an addiction group (Celebrate Recovery) to help her see her life (and dreams) are all about Jesus.
Join us.
Highlights:
"I think the way you can tell if your dream is God's dream is: are you willing to be open-handed with it?" --Lauren Chandler
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Spotify Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Wait. Does He?
How does that work? And how do you know if it is a selfish one or something that is literally from Him? And what about those of us who feel like expendable folks--with "worthless" or no dreams?
Lauren Chandler, wife to Matt Chandler (yes, that Matt Chandler), and mother of three, is a worship leader, author, and helper of us in this conversation about how can we balance our dreams with God's desires.
It's a poignant interview that includes God taking a starry-eyed Lauren through an addiction group (Celebrate Recovery) to help her see her life (and dreams) are all about Jesus.
Join us.
Highlights:
"I think the way you can tell if your dream is God's dream is: are you willing to be open-handed with it?" --Lauren Chandler
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Spotify Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 100: How to Hear God with Jim Samra
Many people abuse hearing from God. But just because they misuse the process, does it mean we shouldn't engage?
Jim Samra, someone who literally wrote the book about it, helps us to think about how we can wisely approach listening to God. (And that book title is pretty funny: God Told Me: Who to Marry, Where to Work, Which Car to Buy ... And I'm Pretty Sure I'm Not Crazy.)
Jim also guides us through questions such as, "How mature do you have to be to hear from God?" "What if you are living in sin--does God still speak to you?" "How does the Bible interact with this process?" "Can and should we pray for a spouse?"
We loved this one.
Highlight:
"There are lot of people who abuse this idea: They are going to use the, 'God told me' language or 'God speaking to me' just to masquerade for the things they actually want to do." --Jim Samra
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Jim Samra, someone who literally wrote the book about it, helps us to think about how we can wisely approach listening to God. (And that book title is pretty funny: God Told Me: Who to Marry, Where to Work, Which Car to Buy ... And I'm Pretty Sure I'm Not Crazy.)
Jim also guides us through questions such as, "How mature do you have to be to hear from God?" "What if you are living in sin--does God still speak to you?" "How does the Bible interact with this process?" "Can and should we pray for a spouse?"
We loved this one.
Highlight:
"There are lot of people who abuse this idea: They are going to use the, 'God told me' language or 'God speaking to me' just to masquerade for the things they actually want to do." --Jim Samra
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 99: A Gender Conversation Part 2 with Heather Skriba
This is another episode where if we could pay you to listen to it, we would. We believe it is that important.
Heather was born female, but in her young twenties, fully socially transitioned to male. Now, she is again living as her born-female self, and is running toward Jesus.
How did this happen?
You know, for all the conversations we have about gender/sexuality/etc., it's funny that we keep waiting for the answer to, "How did this happen?" to be something other than the gospel. Something other than learning how to suffer well alongside each other. Something other than surrendering idols and learning to hear God.
But it isn't. The good news of the the gospel is it is good news for everyone and everyone's pain. So, the answer to "How did this happen?" once again is the gospel.
Listen to another version of specifically how the gospel is good news for everyone every day alongside us today.
Highlights:
"So often for trans guys, surgery is looked at as, 'This is the thing that is going to make everything else okay.' ... But I remember the first time I looked down at my chest, and I had this sinking feeling of, 'This is not what I was hoping it would be. I mean, it's good, but this is surface level ... This was supposed to be *it,* and it's not." --Heather Skriba
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Heather was born female, but in her young twenties, fully socially transitioned to male. Now, she is again living as her born-female self, and is running toward Jesus.
How did this happen?
You know, for all the conversations we have about gender/sexuality/etc., it's funny that we keep waiting for the answer to, "How did this happen?" to be something other than the gospel. Something other than learning how to suffer well alongside each other. Something other than surrendering idols and learning to hear God.
But it isn't. The good news of the the gospel is it is good news for everyone and everyone's pain. So, the answer to "How did this happen?" once again is the gospel.
Listen to another version of specifically how the gospel is good news for everyone every day alongside us today.
Highlights:
"So often for trans guys, surgery is looked at as, 'This is the thing that is going to make everything else okay.' ... But I remember the first time I looked down at my chest, and I had this sinking feeling of, 'This is not what I was hoping it would be. I mean, it's good, but this is surface level ... This was supposed to be *it,* and it's not." --Heather Skriba
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 98: Talking Sexuality with Our Kids
This is another one of those episodes seeking to answer questions we receive often:
At what age do we start talking with our kids about sexuality?
How do we do it, exactly?
What about gender stuff?
How do we help alleviate some of the blurring of the lines that is going on with gender these days--without holding onto stereotypes?
Who better to help us out than author and teacher, Dannah Gresh? She has been in the ministry of educating young people regarding sexuality for many years. (And if you think she is speaking old-school purity movement stuff, think again. This woman is on fire, and is ready to preach the holistic good news of the gospel for our sexuality in 2019, 2020 and beyond.)
Let's dive in again to this critical conversation with grace, truth, and love.
Highlight:
“In the Bible there is not one place *ever* where the formal education of moral belief is ever assigned to anyone but parents…. You cannot phone this thing in. Moral development is assigned to you.” --Dannah Gresh
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
At what age do we start talking with our kids about sexuality?
How do we do it, exactly?
What about gender stuff?
How do we help alleviate some of the blurring of the lines that is going on with gender these days--without holding onto stereotypes?
Who better to help us out than author and teacher, Dannah Gresh? She has been in the ministry of educating young people regarding sexuality for many years. (And if you think she is speaking old-school purity movement stuff, think again. This woman is on fire, and is ready to preach the holistic good news of the gospel for our sexuality in 2019, 2020 and beyond.)
Let's dive in again to this critical conversation with grace, truth, and love.
Highlight:
“In the Bible there is not one place *ever* where the formal education of moral belief is ever assigned to anyone but parents…. You cannot phone this thing in. Moral development is assigned to you.” --Dannah Gresh
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 97: The Heart of Racial Reconciliation
The purpose of this podcast is to "explore how the gospel is good news for everyone every day."
Most often, we talk about how the gospel relates to sexuality/gender (as those conversations have been neglected for too long in the Church), however part of the good news of the gospel is it eliminates walls and barriers between people—racial barriers included.
Our friend, Kinita Schripsema, helps us to launch into this conversation from a place we need to start: the heart.
Kinita was kind enough to let us ask many dumb questions (although she was gracious to not call them dumb!) in order to get to a place where we can speak heart to heart.
This is an important one.
Highlight:
"It's not okay for us to say within the context of our church, 'But we are united in Christ, right?' You can say that but I sure hope you're being inclusive. I sure hope you're embracing and *walking with,* and--most crucially--stepping into the mess with people." --Kinita Schripsema
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Most often, we talk about how the gospel relates to sexuality/gender (as those conversations have been neglected for too long in the Church), however part of the good news of the gospel is it eliminates walls and barriers between people—racial barriers included.
Our friend, Kinita Schripsema, helps us to launch into this conversation from a place we need to start: the heart.
Kinita was kind enough to let us ask many dumb questions (although she was gracious to not call them dumb!) in order to get to a place where we can speak heart to heart.
This is an important one.
Highlight:
"It's not okay for us to say within the context of our church, 'But we are united in Christ, right?' You can say that but I sure hope you're being inclusive. I sure hope you're embracing and *walking with,* and--most crucially--stepping into the mess with people." --Kinita Schripsema
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 96: Healthy Community (and Touch) as a Single Person with Meg Baatz
We get a decent amount of questions about how to engage healthy friendship (and touch) as single people.
So, we asked one of our dear single friends, Meg Baatz, to help us navigate some more of this friendship quagmire. Some of the questions explored include:
Dive in with us today at the podcast table.
Highlight:
"I can desire to have the majority of my relational or emotional needs met from women rather than from God first and then from women ... [But] it's easy to go one extreme or the other: 'I have this really deep need for relational with women.' Or 'Oh, no! I don't want to idolize my friendships, and so I'm going to retreat out of fear or shame.'" --Meg Baatz
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
So, we asked one of our dear single friends, Meg Baatz, to help us navigate some more of this friendship quagmire. Some of the questions explored include:
- What is the difference between finding community as a single person or as a married person?
- What is Meg's journey with finding community?
- Why are people so awkward when it comes to being friends with people of the same sex (if those people experience attractions toward the same sex)? How can we all be friends?
- How can we engage healthy touch with our friends?
Dive in with us today at the podcast table.
Highlight:
"I can desire to have the majority of my relational or emotional needs met from women rather than from God first and then from women ... [But] it's easy to go one extreme or the other: 'I have this really deep need for relational with women.' Or 'Oh, no! I don't want to idolize my friendships, and so I'm going to retreat out of fear or shame.'" --Meg Baatz
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 95: How WE Can See Everyone with Terence Lester
This interview kicked our tails.
Do you know what to do when you encounter someone who is experiencing homelessness?
We thought we did ... sort of? Give them a few bucks? Offer a pack of things you have ready in your car? Pray with them?
Terence Lester, activist, speaker, and author of I See You: How Love Opens Our Eyes to Invisible People, helps us practically navigate how we can better see people experiencing poverty and homelessness and thereby learn a lesson on how we can really see everyone.
Highlights:
"The best phrases in the New Testament are 'Jesus saw.' Not only did He see people, but He became proximate to them. What will radically change our understanding and even our misconceptions about people is acknowledging them and getting proximate."
--Terence Lester
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Do you know what to do when you encounter someone who is experiencing homelessness?
We thought we did ... sort of? Give them a few bucks? Offer a pack of things you have ready in your car? Pray with them?
Terence Lester, activist, speaker, and author of I See You: How Love Opens Our Eyes to Invisible People, helps us practically navigate how we can better see people experiencing poverty and homelessness and thereby learn a lesson on how we can really see everyone.
Highlights:
"The best phrases in the New Testament are 'Jesus saw.' Not only did He see people, but He became proximate to them. What will radically change our understanding and even our misconceptions about people is acknowledging them and getting proximate."
--Terence Lester
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 94: Marriage and Friendship: How to Do Both Well with Kelly Needham
Friends. We need them. They can also be a big challenge. It can be hard to put them in their proper, healthy place (neither diminishing them nor elevating them)—whether we are married or single.
Today, we primarily look at how to have healthy friendships through the married lens, but single people? We believe and hope and pray you will be blessed, too.
Kelly Needham, author of the new book Friendish, helps us explore questions such as, “Can we have covenant friendships outside of marriage?” “What are signs of when friendships are moving into an unhealthy direction?” “Are our spouses supposed to be our best friends?"
It's a needed conversation for our lonely world today on the podcast.
Highlight:
"Your loneliness is primarily alleviated in Christ ... Loneliness came as a result of sin, not alone-ness." --Kelly Needham
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Today, we primarily look at how to have healthy friendships through the married lens, but single people? We believe and hope and pray you will be blessed, too.
Kelly Needham, author of the new book Friendish, helps us explore questions such as, “Can we have covenant friendships outside of marriage?” “What are signs of when friendships are moving into an unhealthy direction?” “Are our spouses supposed to be our best friends?"
It's a needed conversation for our lonely world today on the podcast.
Highlight:
"Your loneliness is primarily alleviated in Christ ... Loneliness came as a result of sin, not alone-ness." --Kelly Needham
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 93: Broken/Beloved Pastors Part 3 with Brad Klaver
When Brad Klaver was ten, he watched three men in his church get publicly excommunicated for either experiencing attractions toward the same gender or for being in same-sex relationships. He made a vow to himself, "I will never share this part of me."
Twenty-five years later, married to his wife and dad to four kids, God allowed this now-pastor to go through breakdown so he could experience breakthrough. Join us as we engage Brad's journey with his wife, friends, and church in this final story in our broken/beloved pastor series today.
[Also listen in as we get hammered by a rainstorm and get word of a tornado in our area. It made for an exciting recording finish. ;)]
Highlight:
"I remember exactly where I was watching [the excommunications] unfold. In me there was this internal wrestle of fear of: 'I don't know where this came from. I don't know why I have this. I don't know where this all began or what was done to me to make me like this, but all I know based on what I am seeing now is ... this is what happens if people find out. You admit it, and you are shown the door.' ... I said to myself... 'I will never tell anyone. Ever.' That commitment was kept for 25 years." --Brad Klaver
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Twenty-five years later, married to his wife and dad to four kids, God allowed this now-pastor to go through breakdown so he could experience breakthrough. Join us as we engage Brad's journey with his wife, friends, and church in this final story in our broken/beloved pastor series today.
[Also listen in as we get hammered by a rainstorm and get word of a tornado in our area. It made for an exciting recording finish. ;)]
Highlight:
"I remember exactly where I was watching [the excommunications] unfold. In me there was this internal wrestle of fear of: 'I don't know where this came from. I don't know why I have this. I don't know where this all began or what was done to me to make me like this, but all I know based on what I am seeing now is ... this is what happens if people find out. You admit it, and you are shown the door.' ... I said to myself... 'I will never tell anyone. Ever.' That commitment was kept for 25 years." --Brad Klaver
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 92: Broken/Beloved Pastors Part 2 with Johnny and Amanda McKenna
It's week two of our Broken/Beloved Pastor mini-series, where we try to break down stereotypes and halt the gossip train when it comes to pastors who leave their positions for various reasons.
Today, we dive into the painful and gorgeous story of Johnny and Amanda McKenna. The middle of their journey includes him almost killing himself to hide his double life of affairs, pornography addiction, and alcoholism--while serving as a pastor.
But there is a beginning and new ending to this story. Come and hear pieces of the whole broken and beloved journey with us today.
Highlights:
"All this is going on and I'm saying to myself ... 'You're such a scumbag ... It's time to take my life ... I'll be gone, but my legacy will be in tact. I won't be this pastor that is another Hall of Shame member. I won't have to tell my boys that I failed them--that I cheated on their mom. I won't have to tell my youth group kids and leaders. I can at least provide for them financially. They'll be in a better place because I had life insurance.' I thought that was the best case scenario. Those were the lies Satan was whispering in my ear."
--Johnny Mckenna
"One of the things [my friend] said was, 'Amanda, God is saving your husband right now.' It shocked me. 'What do you mean He's saving us? It feels like He's killing us.' But then that meaning sunk in: Johnny was living bound and held captive by his sin. But now, God was in the process of saving him. ...That's really beautiful if you think about it: God steps into the mess and he fights for you."
--Amanda McKenna
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Today, we dive into the painful and gorgeous story of Johnny and Amanda McKenna. The middle of their journey includes him almost killing himself to hide his double life of affairs, pornography addiction, and alcoholism--while serving as a pastor.
But there is a beginning and new ending to this story. Come and hear pieces of the whole broken and beloved journey with us today.
Highlights:
"All this is going on and I'm saying to myself ... 'You're such a scumbag ... It's time to take my life ... I'll be gone, but my legacy will be in tact. I won't be this pastor that is another Hall of Shame member. I won't have to tell my boys that I failed them--that I cheated on their mom. I won't have to tell my youth group kids and leaders. I can at least provide for them financially. They'll be in a better place because I had life insurance.' I thought that was the best case scenario. Those were the lies Satan was whispering in my ear."
--Johnny Mckenna
"One of the things [my friend] said was, 'Amanda, God is saving your husband right now.' It shocked me. 'What do you mean He's saving us? It feels like He's killing us.' But then that meaning sunk in: Johnny was living bound and held captive by his sin. But now, God was in the process of saving him. ...That's really beautiful if you think about it: God steps into the mess and he fights for you."
--Amanda McKenna
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 91: Broken/Beloved Pastors Part 1 with Ben and Lauren Schulke
Too often, we hear stories of pastors who have left their pastoral vocation for a myriad of reasons, and we (the church body) are left guessing about why.
This empty void of information can lead to gossip on our part and subsequent pain for the pastor and their families because we do not go to them and ask questions--we just guess.
Today, we are launching a mini-series where we hear the before/during/and after of the why these pastors left their posts. We want to focus on the redemption, the why, and the seeing of pastors as fellow broken/beloved image-bearers instead of automatically assuming the worst.
We launch the series with our friend, Ben, and his wife, Lauren. Ben wrestles with gender dysphoria (a feeling of disconnect between one's biological sex and their gender identity), and served as a pastor until he felt called by God to be authentic with his wrestling.
What happened next? What does gender dysphoria feel like? How does it impact a marriage and a pastor? Join us at the podcast table to hear more.
Highlight:
"I very much tried to control the image of how people saw me. But . . . when people know me they can choose to love me and not some facsimile." --Ben Schulke
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
This empty void of information can lead to gossip on our part and subsequent pain for the pastor and their families because we do not go to them and ask questions--we just guess.
Today, we are launching a mini-series where we hear the before/during/and after of the why these pastors left their posts. We want to focus on the redemption, the why, and the seeing of pastors as fellow broken/beloved image-bearers instead of automatically assuming the worst.
We launch the series with our friend, Ben, and his wife, Lauren. Ben wrestles with gender dysphoria (a feeling of disconnect between one's biological sex and their gender identity), and served as a pastor until he felt called by God to be authentic with his wrestling.
What happened next? What does gender dysphoria feel like? How does it impact a marriage and a pastor? Join us at the podcast table to hear more.
Highlight:
"I very much tried to control the image of how people saw me. But . . . when people know me they can choose to love me and not some facsimile." --Ben Schulke
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 90: The Gospel and Food with Melissa d'Arabian
This episode surprisingly convicted us because, well, we don't think much about food.
But, good grief, what we miss out on when we see food as a way to shovel nutrients (or happiness) in as opposed to a way to know God more deeply.
Food Network star, Melissa d'Arabian, invites us to the table with our creative, creator-of-food God. Through her vulnerable story and experience in the food entertainment industry, Melissa teaches us how to know Him more through eating.
Highlight:
"God could have created a nutrition-delivery system that was far less delicious and far more efficient that didn't require us to stop, sit, eat, prepare, and grow. But He didn't." --Melissa d'Arabian
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
But, good grief, what we miss out on when we see food as a way to shovel nutrients (or happiness) in as opposed to a way to know God more deeply.
Food Network star, Melissa d'Arabian, invites us to the table with our creative, creator-of-food God. Through her vulnerable story and experience in the food entertainment industry, Melissa teaches us how to know Him more through eating.
Highlight:
"God could have created a nutrition-delivery system that was far less delicious and far more efficient that didn't require us to stop, sit, eat, prepare, and grow. But He didn't." --Melissa d'Arabian
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 89: Sex, Jesus, and the conversations the church Forgot with Mo Isom
The Church is precious. It's Christ's beloved and broken bride.But sex and sexuality conversations have notoriously challenged us for the last...thousands of years.
New York Times bestselling author, Mo Isom, helps guide us through some of these conversations we have forgotten, and does it with storytelling and great passion. (She takes us to church!)
Grab a pew, and join us.
Highlight:
"A lot of my issues grew out of the fact that my family thought the church was talking to me about the hard stuff, and the church thought my family was talking about the hard stuff. Therefore no one was talking to me about the hard stuff. So really, the world ... was teaching me." --Mo Isom
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
New York Times bestselling author, Mo Isom, helps guide us through some of these conversations we have forgotten, and does it with storytelling and great passion. (She takes us to church!)
Grab a pew, and join us.
Highlight:
"A lot of my issues grew out of the fact that my family thought the church was talking to me about the hard stuff, and the church thought my family was talking about the hard stuff. Therefore no one was talking to me about the hard stuff. So really, the world ... was teaching me." --Mo Isom
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 88: The Gift of Touch? with Hayley Mullins
Touch can be ... a touchy subject.
Some of us can overemphasize it and others can shun it. When Laurie recently said to Matt, "I wish I could live in a touch-free world," she realized just how touchy (and painful) non-sexual physical touch can be.
Instead of bury it, in classic Hole in My Heart Podcast fashion, we are bringing the conversation to the table. Matt, Laurie, Steve, and guest, Hayley Mullins, toss around questions ranging from what to do when we idolize touch, to how to carefully speak the "love language" of touch with those been affected by sexual assault.
This is another raw and (in our opinion) beautiful one. You are welcome to join us.
Highlight:
"When I was walking through a season where I was wrestling with, 'How do I use touch appropriately in a way that just loves people? ... How do I practice this ... if it is causing me problems?' [I needed to find] the ways to show the Father' s love with touch in a way that is welcoming--in a way that draws them in as opposed to pulls them to yourself because of you. Instead, it welcomes in so that they can see Jesus more clearly." --Hayley Mullins
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Some of us can overemphasize it and others can shun it. When Laurie recently said to Matt, "I wish I could live in a touch-free world," she realized just how touchy (and painful) non-sexual physical touch can be.
Instead of bury it, in classic Hole in My Heart Podcast fashion, we are bringing the conversation to the table. Matt, Laurie, Steve, and guest, Hayley Mullins, toss around questions ranging from what to do when we idolize touch, to how to carefully speak the "love language" of touch with those been affected by sexual assault.
This is another raw and (in our opinion) beautiful one. You are welcome to join us.
Highlight:
"When I was walking through a season where I was wrestling with, 'How do I use touch appropriately in a way that just loves people? ... How do I practice this ... if it is causing me problems?' [I needed to find] the ways to show the Father' s love with touch in a way that is welcoming--in a way that draws them in as opposed to pulls them to yourself because of you. Instead, it welcomes in so that they can see Jesus more clearly." --Hayley Mullins
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 87: How to Do Battle with Anxiety with Rebekah Lyons
How many of us have fought (and do fight) with heart-pumping, air-constricting anxiety?
How can we practically do battle with it? Bestselling author and popular speaker, Rebekah Lyons, helps us put on our boxing gloves to practically combat it.
Highlight:
"I questioned, 'Am I a fraud?' I thought there was a healing that happened, and I was loud about it. And yet I found myself in a place of frailty and desperation again." --Rebekah Lyons
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
How can we practically do battle with it? Bestselling author and popular speaker, Rebekah Lyons, helps us put on our boxing gloves to practically combat it.
Highlight:
"I questioned, 'Am I a fraud?' I thought there was a healing that happened, and I was loud about it. And yet I found myself in a place of frailty and desperation again." --Rebekah Lyons
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 86: Before WE Jump to activism with The Crew
There is intense pain in the world and in our hearts--based on national or personal tragedy.
We may be quick to jump to anger, to text someone, to Twitter, to do something. These actions may not be wrong, but they can be wrong-hearted if we skip an important step: going to the Father with lament that leads to forgiveness and eventual love for our enemies.
It feels impossible--really, truly loving our enemies--but as believers we are called to do the impossible with the One who empowers us.
But how in the world can we do this lament that leads to forgiveness that leads to genuine love for our enemies?
We get as practical as we can in this episode, breaking down how we lament in real life, and even give you a bonus episode where Matt leads us like a midwife to birth these laments today. :)
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
We may be quick to jump to anger, to text someone, to Twitter, to do something. These actions may not be wrong, but they can be wrong-hearted if we skip an important step: going to the Father with lament that leads to forgiveness and eventual love for our enemies.
It feels impossible--really, truly loving our enemies--but as believers we are called to do the impossible with the One who empowers us.
But how in the world can we do this lament that leads to forgiveness that leads to genuine love for our enemies?
We get as practical as we can in this episode, breaking down how we lament in real life, and even give you a bonus episode where Matt leads us like a midwife to birth these laments today. :)
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 85: Our Favorites and Yours with the Crew
Friends? This podcast thing we do began as an act of obedience to God's prompting two years ago.
We. Had. No. Idea. How. Much. it would bless us and others. No clue.
Listening back to clips together got us feeling all the podcast feels again: Mostly, we felt the desire to fall on our faces and worship God who is knitting together this gorgeous thing called the Body of Christ.
God is on the move, dear siblings in Christ. God is moving in and through the Church, and He wants to move even more through those whose hearts are fully submitted to Him (2 Chronicles 16:9).
Tune in with us as we reflect on the last season, and some of our favorite moments and yours:
Episode 53: Saying "Yes" with Tom and Dana Mollhagen
Episode 49: The Awkward Middle with David Bennett
Episode 57: The "Whys" Behind Pornography Addiction with Jay Stringer
Episode 64: Exploring Our Souls of Shame Part 1 and Part 2 with Curt Thompson
Episode 80: Fill These Hearts with Christopher West
Episode 74: The Need to Be Seen with Jeff Maness and John Wilson
Episode 83: Sexuality and Shame with Dan Allender
Episode 81: Living an Authentic Life with Ann Voskamp
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
We. Had. No. Idea. How. Much. it would bless us and others. No clue.
Listening back to clips together got us feeling all the podcast feels again: Mostly, we felt the desire to fall on our faces and worship God who is knitting together this gorgeous thing called the Body of Christ.
God is on the move, dear siblings in Christ. God is moving in and through the Church, and He wants to move even more through those whose hearts are fully submitted to Him (2 Chronicles 16:9).
Tune in with us as we reflect on the last season, and some of our favorite moments and yours:
Episode 53: Saying "Yes" with Tom and Dana Mollhagen
Episode 49: The Awkward Middle with David Bennett
Episode 57: The "Whys" Behind Pornography Addiction with Jay Stringer
Episode 64: Exploring Our Souls of Shame Part 1 and Part 2 with Curt Thompson
Episode 80: Fill These Hearts with Christopher West
Episode 74: The Need to Be Seen with Jeff Maness and John Wilson
Episode 83: Sexuality and Shame with Dan Allender
Episode 81: Living an Authentic Life with Ann Voskamp
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 84: Leading a Church in a Time of Sexual Questioning with Bruce B. Miller
A recent survey says that 90 percent of clergy believe it is their responsibility to speak on important social issues, but the top two issues they feel unequipped to speak on are LGBT+ and same-sex marriage.
We need help. Thankfully, there are pastors like Bruce B. Miller who are willing to lead us as we lead others.
In addition to walking us through starter steps we can take as a church to better engage conversations around sexuality and LGBT+, we explore questions such as:
What if the staff/elders/deacons aren't united? Can we be on different pages theologically?
Do we have to do a sermon series? (How in the world do we do that?)
What if people leave?
This is another important equipping conversation to help us lead with grace and truth. (Click the links below for practical, next step resources.)
Highlight:
"To not preach on [sexuality] is to not give people leadership in an area where people have tremendous questions ... You either lead people in confusion or you give people wise guidance as a pastor." --Bruce Miller
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
We need help. Thankfully, there are pastors like Bruce B. Miller who are willing to lead us as we lead others.
In addition to walking us through starter steps we can take as a church to better engage conversations around sexuality and LGBT+, we explore questions such as:
What if the staff/elders/deacons aren't united? Can we be on different pages theologically?
Do we have to do a sermon series? (How in the world do we do that?)
What if people leave?
This is another important equipping conversation to help us lead with grace and truth. (Click the links below for practical, next step resources.)
Highlight:
"To not preach on [sexuality] is to not give people leadership in an area where people have tremendous questions ... You either lead people in confusion or you give people wise guidance as a pastor." --Bruce Miller
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 83: Sexuality and Shame with Dan Allender
One in two women and one in four men have encountered sexual trauma. The enemy's attempts to shred humanity through sexuality is pervasive, but those of us who have encountered sexual assault are not hopeless.
Author and teacher, Dr. Dan Allender, guides us through this hope-filled terrain utilizing decades of experience and research in the field of sexual trauma. He unpacks answers to questions like:
Why is shame linked to sexuality, and why is contempt often linked to shame?
Why and how do repressed memories resurface?
How can we engage painful past memories without pushing "eject" on our lives?
How can we respond in healthy ways to triggers?
Additionally, we explore some of Dan's gospel story out of a life of drug dealing and elicit behavior (as a response to his own pain), and invite him to kindly poke fun at Matt throughout the entire episode.
Highlight:
"I've seen it literally thousands of times: People who enter the truth and allow their hearts to receive kindness ... that's the context for the Spirit of God to bring about remarkable change." --Dan Allender
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Author and teacher, Dr. Dan Allender, guides us through this hope-filled terrain utilizing decades of experience and research in the field of sexual trauma. He unpacks answers to questions like:
Why is shame linked to sexuality, and why is contempt often linked to shame?
Why and how do repressed memories resurface?
How can we engage painful past memories without pushing "eject" on our lives?
How can we respond in healthy ways to triggers?
Additionally, we explore some of Dan's gospel story out of a life of drug dealing and elicit behavior (as a response to his own pain), and invite him to kindly poke fun at Matt throughout the entire episode.
Highlight:
"I've seen it literally thousands of times: People who enter the truth and allow their hearts to receive kindness ... that's the context for the Spirit of God to bring about remarkable change." --Dan Allender
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 82: How to Lament with Mark Vroegop
Lament. We've talked about it. We love it. Let's dig deeper than we ever have into it on this episode.
If we don't lament, what kind of people will we be? Is there a line of honesty with God we shouldn't cross? How do we really do it?
Pastor and author, Mark Vroegop, guides us through these questions and more with wisdom that can only come from someone who has suffered much, and has found his way out of the darkness by singing the minor key tune of lament.
Hear his story and practical care for our souls during today's conversation.
Highlight:
"Lament is not just crying. Lament is talking to God about what causes the crying." --Mark Vroegop
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
If we don't lament, what kind of people will we be? Is there a line of honesty with God we shouldn't cross? How do we really do it?
Pastor and author, Mark Vroegop, guides us through these questions and more with wisdom that can only come from someone who has suffered much, and has found his way out of the darkness by singing the minor key tune of lament.
Hear his story and practical care for our souls during today's conversation.
Highlight:
"Lament is not just crying. Lament is talking to God about what causes the crying." --Mark Vroegop
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 81: Living an Authentic Life with Ann Voskamp
She has a huge platform: Hundreds of thousands of followers, millions of books sold, and many Christians are at least familiar with the name "Ann Voskamp." And yet when Ann writes, speaks, and engages social media, she does not hide behind the numbers. She writes grittily, authentically, and with boldness.
How is this possible? How can someone with such a great impact on the world maintain such a humble, vulnerable, and others-focused life?
We explore these questions as we engage Ann on living an authentic life. We talk the cost, the gifts, and the practical how-tos. (And of course, because we are the HIMH Podcast, we make time to take a trip to Goofball Island where we finally learn her real Enneagram number.) You're welcome to join us.
Highlight:
"We either have the mentality of [God as], 'Oh dear, I've messed up, Dad is going to kill me,' or 'Oh, dear, I've messed up, I need to call Dad.' ... David doesn't run from God, he runs to God, and he trusts that when we want a do-over Jesus covers us with un-erasable grace." --Ann Voskamp
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
How is this possible? How can someone with such a great impact on the world maintain such a humble, vulnerable, and others-focused life?
We explore these questions as we engage Ann on living an authentic life. We talk the cost, the gifts, and the practical how-tos. (And of course, because we are the HIMH Podcast, we make time to take a trip to Goofball Island where we finally learn her real Enneagram number.) You're welcome to join us.
Highlight:
"We either have the mentality of [God as], 'Oh dear, I've messed up, Dad is going to kill me,' or 'Oh, dear, I've messed up, I need to call Dad.' ... David doesn't run from God, he runs to God, and he trusts that when we want a do-over Jesus covers us with un-erasable grace." --Ann Voskamp
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 80: Fill These Hearts with Christopher West
Everything we do—good, evil, neutral—speaks to our longing for heaven. World-renowned teacher of Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body and bestselling author, Christopher West, leans into this longing and unpacks it with outrageous wisdom and tenderness.
This is one we are all going to be going back and listening to several times. It is that rich.
(And don't worry: Those of you who want some of that goofball action, we make sure to talk about rats dying in Wendy's grease buckets. Yep.)
Highlight:
"We have three choices when it comes to our desire: We are either going to become The Stoic and repress the desire. An Addict and indulge in the finite pleasures of the world that never satisfy. Or I am going to become…[an] Aspiring Mystic…someone who opens their hunger to the infinite.”
--Christopher West
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
This is one we are all going to be going back and listening to several times. It is that rich.
(And don't worry: Those of you who want some of that goofball action, we make sure to talk about rats dying in Wendy's grease buckets. Yep.)
Highlight:
"We have three choices when it comes to our desire: We are either going to become The Stoic and repress the desire. An Addict and indulge in the finite pleasures of the world that never satisfy. Or I am going to become…[an] Aspiring Mystic…someone who opens their hunger to the infinite.”
--Christopher West
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 79: Dear Evangelical Pastor with Mike RoseBush
This is the story of a man who experienced attractions toward other men from a young age, found football, found God, found the Air Force (and excelled), and as a ministry leader came to grips with his same-gender attractions--now as a married-to-a-woman man.
God helped this man, Mike Rosebush, remove shame about his attractions, but people and circumstances placed him in conversion therapy. A major part of conversion therapy is seeking to make people change from gay to straight. It did not work.
However, as a licensed psychologist, Mike found himself in a position of counseling others who had a similar story. Mike had a choice: Follow the script he believed was unhelpful and unbiblical (to idolize sexual attractions as ultimate by making orientation change the primary goal), or find another way. He found another way: the path of sanctification and the path of daily surrender.
Hear more of Mike's journey and decision, and his exhortation to pastors and all Christians seeking to engage the LGBT+ conversation biblically and faithfully on today's episode.
Highlight:
"Dear Friend ... We who have same-sex attraction, who are Evangelical, who devote our life to celibacy, and who absolutely believe everything in your orthodoxy, we are not your enemy."
--Mike Rosebush
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
God helped this man, Mike Rosebush, remove shame about his attractions, but people and circumstances placed him in conversion therapy. A major part of conversion therapy is seeking to make people change from gay to straight. It did not work.
However, as a licensed psychologist, Mike found himself in a position of counseling others who had a similar story. Mike had a choice: Follow the script he believed was unhelpful and unbiblical (to idolize sexual attractions as ultimate by making orientation change the primary goal), or find another way. He found another way: the path of sanctification and the path of daily surrender.
Hear more of Mike's journey and decision, and his exhortation to pastors and all Christians seeking to engage the LGBT+ conversation biblically and faithfully on today's episode.
Highlight:
"Dear Friend ... We who have same-sex attraction, who are Evangelical, who devote our life to celibacy, and who absolutely believe everything in your orthodoxy, we are not your enemy."
--Mike Rosebush
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 78: Q & D #1: Purpose, Church Angst, and Your Questions
The crew is back together!
Laurie, Matt, and Producer Steve dive into their first-ever Q & D (Question & Discussion) podcast. Together, they explore areas they have wanted to dive into more deeply including:
Highlight:
"I was trying to solidify myself. Eventually, I got to the point where none of the things I was doing made me feel substantive ... Everything I was trying to put in this place of giving me purpose and giving me value it [didn't] work. 'I hate it. And I hate myself.'" --Matt Krieg
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Laurie, Matt, and Producer Steve dive into their first-ever Q & D (Question & Discussion) podcast. Together, they explore areas they have wanted to dive into more deeply including:
- More of Matt's story of when he felt so purposeless he decided to end his life in junior high (and then launched into a life coping mechanism of pornography addiction)
- Some of our angst about left/right polarity and clinging to our "rights" as Christians
- How parents who are fighting with their LGBT+ kids can seek deep relationship with one another
- How false forgiveness has been used to silence victims
- And! Things we are looking forward to (including) future episodes with Ann Voskamp, Christopher West, and Dan Allender!
Highlight:
"I was trying to solidify myself. Eventually, I got to the point where none of the things I was doing made me feel substantive ... Everything I was trying to put in this place of giving me purpose and giving me value it [didn't] work. 'I hate it. And I hate myself.'" --Matt Krieg
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 77: The Need for Purpose with Kutter CAllaway
{Week 10 Core Need is the need for purpose: filled with a sense of profoundly mattering.}
Unless we are feeling severely depressed, every human intrinsically feels this need to matter, to have purpose, and to make a mark on the world. Sometimes, this purpose-need gets redirected from receiving our marching orders from Jesus to staring at marriage: It will complete me.
Let's bust that whole thing apart with Breaking the Marriage Idol author, Kutter Callaway.
We also explore your responses to what you grew up with as a paradigm for marriage (was singleness an option?), dig into the need to intentionally place women in positions of influence, and try to affirm our working theory that we are attracted to spouses and friends who are opposite to us when it comes to loving or loathing jigsaw puzzles. You're welcome.
Highlights:
"Let's get rid of . . . romance all together. What are we left with? We are left with these amazing things that we should all be committed to: The welfare of widows and orphans, [and a commitment] to the welfare beyond simply the spouse that I am marrying . . . This is the family that God has called us into: A radically extended and open-armed family--not this sort of closed dyad we get if we start with that myth of romantic love."--Kutter Callaway
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Unless we are feeling severely depressed, every human intrinsically feels this need to matter, to have purpose, and to make a mark on the world. Sometimes, this purpose-need gets redirected from receiving our marching orders from Jesus to staring at marriage: It will complete me.
Let's bust that whole thing apart with Breaking the Marriage Idol author, Kutter Callaway.
We also explore your responses to what you grew up with as a paradigm for marriage (was singleness an option?), dig into the need to intentionally place women in positions of influence, and try to affirm our working theory that we are attracted to spouses and friends who are opposite to us when it comes to loving or loathing jigsaw puzzles. You're welcome.
Highlights:
"Let's get rid of . . . romance all together. What are we left with? We are left with these amazing things that we should all be committed to: The welfare of widows and orphans, [and a commitment] to the welfare beyond simply the spouse that I am marrying . . . This is the family that God has called us into: A radically extended and open-armed family--not this sort of closed dyad we get if we start with that myth of romantic love."--Kutter Callaway
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 76: The Need to be Unique with Brett and Janelle Beimers
{Week 9 Core Need is the need to be unique: delightfully special.}
We've explored the need to be included (belong), but how does that interplay with our good need to be unique?
We talk through this balance with foster and adoptive parents, Brett and Janelle Beimers. Their decision to adopt and foster models Christ's desire for radical inclusion (belonging), but they still need to cultivate each of their children's unique sense of self. How do they do that? What are the challenges to engaging both needs simultaneously--while also balancing the unique path of foster and adoptive life?
We explore these questions with them while, of course, playing a unique game and talking about our trademark things (and yours, dear listeners!) that make us feel like ourselves.
Highlights:
"One of our family themes or mottos has been, 'When God is generous to you or blesses you, build a longer table--not a bigger wall.'" --Brett Beimers
"You have the space, you see the need, and then you get the call... There are many many reasons to say ‘no’ [to a child], but there are also many many reasons to say 'yes.'" --Janelle Beimers
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
We've explored the need to be included (belong), but how does that interplay with our good need to be unique?
We talk through this balance with foster and adoptive parents, Brett and Janelle Beimers. Their decision to adopt and foster models Christ's desire for radical inclusion (belonging), but they still need to cultivate each of their children's unique sense of self. How do they do that? What are the challenges to engaging both needs simultaneously--while also balancing the unique path of foster and adoptive life?
We explore these questions with them while, of course, playing a unique game and talking about our trademark things (and yours, dear listeners!) that make us feel like ourselves.
Highlights:
"One of our family themes or mottos has been, 'When God is generous to you or blesses you, build a longer table--not a bigger wall.'" --Brett Beimers
"You have the space, you see the need, and then you get the call... There are many many reasons to say ‘no’ [to a child], but there are also many many reasons to say 'yes.'" --Janelle Beimers
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 75: The Need to Be Safe with Michael Card
{Week 8 Core Need is the need to be safe: Unafraid; trusting everything is under control.}
Many of us struggle with anxiety and fear. (Most of us? All of us?) We could shame ourselves. ("Why am I still wrestling with this!? I should know I'm safe!") But instead of shaming ourselves, why don't we look below the fear to the good need driving that fear: the need to be safe?
We unpack this good need to be safe with author and award-winning musician, Michael Card. Through the lens of safety, we explore God's character--His inexpressible hesed or lovingkindness and His invitation to rail on His chest in lament.
Highlight:
"This is the same God who spoke the universe into existence, who laid the foundations of the earth, [and] who created the stars and named each one of them. That same God invites me to exhaust myself against him when I'm confused or angry--even at him."
--Michael Card
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Stitcher Link
Many of us struggle with anxiety and fear. (Most of us? All of us?) We could shame ourselves. ("Why am I still wrestling with this!? I should know I'm safe!") But instead of shaming ourselves, why don't we look below the fear to the good need driving that fear: the need to be safe?
We unpack this good need to be safe with author and award-winning musician, Michael Card. Through the lens of safety, we explore God's character--His inexpressible hesed or lovingkindness and His invitation to rail on His chest in lament.
Highlight:
"This is the same God who spoke the universe into existence, who laid the foundations of the earth, [and] who created the stars and named each one of them. That same God invites me to exhaust myself against him when I'm confused or angry--even at him."
--Michael Card
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 74: The Need to Be Seen with Jeff maness and John Wilson
{Week 7 Core Need is the need to be seen: Noticed inside and out.}
This episode has two gripping stories: One is of a pastor named John Wilson who, at a young age, recognized his attractions to his same gender. Burying the secret led him to hospitalization due to the chronic stress. Slowly, carefully, he came out to trusted friends, and found some freedom as he daily surrendered himself to Christ.
But then he moved far away, started working in a church, and the secret threatened to bury him in shame. He needed to come out again, but the person with whom he most needed to share was both his pastor and his boss. What would he say? Would he lose his job? Would this pastor/boss see him and love him as God does?
Enter the second story of John's boss and lead pastor, Jeff Maness: Years before this conversation with John, God had begun to prepare Jeff's heart and his mind to receive John's story. Had God not set the stage, Jeff said he would have fired John after he came forward with his attractions toward men--even though John was surrendering his version of broken sexuality to the Lordship of Christ every day (as we are all called to do).
How did God radically change Jeff's heart? How did John find the courage to share? How did the entire church practically engage this conversation as a result?
Listen and find yourself at the foot of the cross with us in awe of the gospel's good news for everyone every day.
P.S. Today's after-show bloopers? Matt accidentally got slipped into live Christian radio to thousands of people while we did a mic check--and during this mic check he pretended to be an NPR host. (Shake our red-faced heads.)
Highlight:
"This has held a mirror up to our whole congregation--a mirror that needs to be held up to the big "C" Church. Have we lost people? Yes, we have lost a few. ... [But] we are going to stand on what we believe is the truth, we are going to offer what we believe is the radical grace of Jesus, and we are going to present to everyone this gospel message of all of us are called to die. And if that means we have some death in the process ourselves? Then that is the cost for us in this . . . It's time. It's time for the Church to speak into this boldly." --Jeff Maness
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Stitcher Link
This episode has two gripping stories: One is of a pastor named John Wilson who, at a young age, recognized his attractions to his same gender. Burying the secret led him to hospitalization due to the chronic stress. Slowly, carefully, he came out to trusted friends, and found some freedom as he daily surrendered himself to Christ.
But then he moved far away, started working in a church, and the secret threatened to bury him in shame. He needed to come out again, but the person with whom he most needed to share was both his pastor and his boss. What would he say? Would he lose his job? Would this pastor/boss see him and love him as God does?
Enter the second story of John's boss and lead pastor, Jeff Maness: Years before this conversation with John, God had begun to prepare Jeff's heart and his mind to receive John's story. Had God not set the stage, Jeff said he would have fired John after he came forward with his attractions toward men--even though John was surrendering his version of broken sexuality to the Lordship of Christ every day (as we are all called to do).
How did God radically change Jeff's heart? How did John find the courage to share? How did the entire church practically engage this conversation as a result?
Listen and find yourself at the foot of the cross with us in awe of the gospel's good news for everyone every day.
P.S. Today's after-show bloopers? Matt accidentally got slipped into live Christian radio to thousands of people while we did a mic check--and during this mic check he pretended to be an NPR host. (Shake our red-faced heads.)
Highlight:
"This has held a mirror up to our whole congregation--a mirror that needs to be held up to the big "C" Church. Have we lost people? Yes, we have lost a few. ... [But] we are going to stand on what we believe is the truth, we are going to offer what we believe is the radical grace of Jesus, and we are going to present to everyone this gospel message of all of us are called to die. And if that means we have some death in the process ourselves? Then that is the cost for us in this . . . It's time. It's time for the Church to speak into this boldly." --Jeff Maness
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 73: The Need to be Included with Ethan Renoe
{Week 6 Core Need is the need to be included: Wanted in this group, team, or partnership;
belonging}
It seems as if the good need God put into us before the Fall to belong or be included goes hand-in-hand with authenticity. To belong--truly belong--we must be willing to get real. But how many of us feel we are scoring 100% at the relational authenticity level? Social media tells us we have hundreds or thousands of friends, but do we really belong? This is what our guest, Ethan Renoe, calls the "new lonely," and he wrote a book with the same title: The New Lonely: Intimacy in the Age of Isolation.
Ethan and the guys (Laurie is out sick!) explore how we try to solve our loneliness problem through wanderlust, pornography, and Ethan's viral, overnight fame. (Do you remember the video of the guy running shirtless in the rain?) The guys also play a Goofball Island game where they have to insert the moral of the story into some classic youth group entertainment.
Thanks for hanging out with us--it helps take off some of the edge of universal problem of loneliness.
Highlight:
"I realized I was in a really unhealthy pattern where I would show up to a place and I'd be this really mysterious, cool, traveler guy, and before anyone could get to know me, I would leave."
--Ethan Renoe
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Stitcher Link
belonging}
It seems as if the good need God put into us before the Fall to belong or be included goes hand-in-hand with authenticity. To belong--truly belong--we must be willing to get real. But how many of us feel we are scoring 100% at the relational authenticity level? Social media tells us we have hundreds or thousands of friends, but do we really belong? This is what our guest, Ethan Renoe, calls the "new lonely," and he wrote a book with the same title: The New Lonely: Intimacy in the Age of Isolation.
Ethan and the guys (Laurie is out sick!) explore how we try to solve our loneliness problem through wanderlust, pornography, and Ethan's viral, overnight fame. (Do you remember the video of the guy running shirtless in the rain?) The guys also play a Goofball Island game where they have to insert the moral of the story into some classic youth group entertainment.
Thanks for hanging out with us--it helps take off some of the edge of universal problem of loneliness.
Highlight:
"I realized I was in a really unhealthy pattern where I would show up to a place and I'd be this really mysterious, cool, traveler guy, and before anyone could get to know me, I would leave."
--Ethan Renoe
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Stitcher Link
Episode 72: The Need to Be Loved with Jennifer Kennedy Dean
{Week 5 Core Need is the need to be loved: Unconditionally accepted}
All you need is love. It's a nice song, but what about the actual experience of love? How can we feel it deeply before we see Jesus face-to-face?
Author and speaker, Jennifer Kennedy Dean, guides us to a deeper experience of God's love that is not tethered to our circumstances (death of siblings, death of spouses, or a deep wrestling with the reality of prayer), but is richly intertwined to the alive and active Holy Spirit in us.
We also play a game called, "Love Song or Worship Song?" and somehow learn a deep lesson based on how goofy we look while dolphin watching.
Highlight:
"You are never going to be able to get love in the way exactly that you want to, but you can give love. When you give love not for the purpose of making someone love you, but for the purpose of expressing the Jesus who lives in you, you are going to find that fulfilling."
--Jennifer Kennedy Dean
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Stitcher Link
All you need is love. It's a nice song, but what about the actual experience of love? How can we feel it deeply before we see Jesus face-to-face?
Author and speaker, Jennifer Kennedy Dean, guides us to a deeper experience of God's love that is not tethered to our circumstances (death of siblings, death of spouses, or a deep wrestling with the reality of prayer), but is richly intertwined to the alive and active Holy Spirit in us.
We also play a game called, "Love Song or Worship Song?" and somehow learn a deep lesson based on how goofy we look while dolphin watching.
Highlight:
"You are never going to be able to get love in the way exactly that you want to, but you can give love. When you give love not for the purpose of making someone love you, but for the purpose of expressing the Jesus who lives in you, you are going to find that fulfilling."
--Jennifer Kennedy Dean
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Stitcher Link
episode 71: The Need for Rest with Adam Mabry
{Week 4 Core Need is the need for rest: Re-centered and reset in mind, body, spirit; includes having fun}
Why is it that it seems whoever is the busiest is winning at life? If you are stressed, busy, but magically not anxious, you hold a higher status?
We talk about this with Adam Mabry, whose wife laughed at him when he told her he was asked to write a book on rest. This pastor, teacher, and author of the book, The Art of Rest: Faith to Hit Pause in a World that Never Stops, was able to write the book after experiencing what it was like to live a life without rest, and watching it lead to total breakdown. We explore this story, practical ways to combat the "I'm better because I'm busier" game, and why being a pastor who exegetes Romans while on a unicorn might be the best way to do church. ;)
Highlight:
"I broke. I have this vivid memory of it being 1 or 2 in the morning, and I am painting baseboards, crying, cursing, angry, praying mess, and that was the beginning of, 'Hm, I don’t think I can achieve my way out of this.' I hit the dark pretty hard for six or nine months. The practice of rest was acknowledging that there is a God in heaven and a sovereign ruler of the universe, and His name is not my name.” --Adam Mabry
Links:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Why is it that it seems whoever is the busiest is winning at life? If you are stressed, busy, but magically not anxious, you hold a higher status?
We talk about this with Adam Mabry, whose wife laughed at him when he told her he was asked to write a book on rest. This pastor, teacher, and author of the book, The Art of Rest: Faith to Hit Pause in a World that Never Stops, was able to write the book after experiencing what it was like to live a life without rest, and watching it lead to total breakdown. We explore this story, practical ways to combat the "I'm better because I'm busier" game, and why being a pastor who exegetes Romans while on a unicorn might be the best way to do church. ;)
Highlight:
"I broke. I have this vivid memory of it being 1 or 2 in the morning, and I am painting baseboards, crying, cursing, angry, praying mess, and that was the beginning of, 'Hm, I don’t think I can achieve my way out of this.' I hit the dark pretty hard for six or nine months. The practice of rest was acknowledging that there is a God in heaven and a sovereign ruler of the universe, and His name is not my name.” --Adam Mabry
Links:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 70: The Need to be Affirmed
{Week 3 Core Need is the need to be affirmed: Overwhelmingly approved of.}
Do you ever wrestle with knowing God wants you to share the gifts He gave you with the world, but not knowing how much you should "market" yourself? Shouldn't the Holy Spirit just do that for us? We do wrestle with this, so we brought in bestselling author and speaker, Shannon Popkin, who co-wrote the book, Influence: Building a Platform to Elevates Jesus (Not Me).
We explore this conversation in the context of the Core Need to be affirmed. How do we allow God to affirm us while navigating the murky waters of speaking the message He gave us? Put on your lifejackets because we are going to dive in.
We also play another ridiculous game called "Spin This" (where Steve, Matt, and Shannon have to affirm everyone from Winnie the Pooh to Han Solo). Thanks for playing and hanging with us!
Highlight:
"There is such a connection between my message and me that it's really hard not to get 'my message' caught up in it being 'all about me.'" --Shannon Popkin
Links:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Do you ever wrestle with knowing God wants you to share the gifts He gave you with the world, but not knowing how much you should "market" yourself? Shouldn't the Holy Spirit just do that for us? We do wrestle with this, so we brought in bestselling author and speaker, Shannon Popkin, who co-wrote the book, Influence: Building a Platform to Elevates Jesus (Not Me).
We explore this conversation in the context of the Core Need to be affirmed. How do we allow God to affirm us while navigating the murky waters of speaking the message He gave us? Put on your lifejackets because we are going to dive in.
We also play another ridiculous game called "Spin This" (where Steve, Matt, and Shannon have to affirm everyone from Winnie the Pooh to Han Solo). Thanks for playing and hanging with us!
Highlight:
"There is such a connection between my message and me that it's really hard not to get 'my message' caught up in it being 'all about me.'" --Shannon Popkin
Links:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 69: The Need to Be Desired
{Week 2 Core Need is the need to be desired: Specially chosen--no pretense necessary.}
The idea of mixed-orientation marriages (where one spouse is straight and the other is not) can make people scratch their heads saying, "How does that work?" Today, through the lens of the Core Need to be desired, mixed-orientation couple, Ty and Rachel Wyss, get real about their marriage, their need to be desired, and leave us--married and single--with wise, God-given wisdom to walk well. This is another sacred story you don't want to miss.
The group also talks how we can express needs without being "needy," Love Languages (with feedback from you all!), and, as always, how the gospel was and is good news.
Highlight:
"The need to be desired manifested for me . . . in the desire to be somebody's best friend, somebody's everything, somebody's first choice." --Rachel Wyss
Links:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
The idea of mixed-orientation marriages (where one spouse is straight and the other is not) can make people scratch their heads saying, "How does that work?" Today, through the lens of the Core Need to be desired, mixed-orientation couple, Ty and Rachel Wyss, get real about their marriage, their need to be desired, and leave us--married and single--with wise, God-given wisdom to walk well. This is another sacred story you don't want to miss.
The group also talks how we can express needs without being "needy," Love Languages (with feedback from you all!), and, as always, how the gospel was and is good news.
Highlight:
"The need to be desired manifested for me . . . in the desire to be somebody's best friend, somebody's everything, somebody's first choice." --Rachel Wyss
Links:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 68: The Need for Nurture
{Week 1 Core Need is the need to be nurtured: Cared for; held.}
It's time to dive deeply into Core Needs. What are they? They are good needs God put into us for things like belonging, purpose, affirmation, and to be seen and desired. The Fall threw a wrench in our once-natural ability to get them perfectly met by God and supported by people, however, and now we have natural inclinations to get these good needs met in ways that don't satisfy us and don't glorify God. (That natural inclination is known as our sin nature.) Our default is now idolatry.
Eden Invitation co-founders, Anna Carter and Shannon Ochoa, launch our 10-week series on Core Needs by talking about the need for nurture. These ministry leaders guide us beautifully through wrestling with how we see nurture develop throughout our life, and how we can look to our friends to support this nurture need without slipping into co-dependence. We also talk tattoos, donuts, and "getting in the freaking car" for a worship sesh. Join us on a journey of the soul.
Highlight:
"At the end of the day it's an invitation: To love and be loved . . . There's not a sense of dependence or your friends completing you, but we must be comfortable in naming it: 'In order for me to lean into the Lord more easily, I want to invite you to walk with me.'" --Shannon Ochoa
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
It's time to dive deeply into Core Needs. What are they? They are good needs God put into us for things like belonging, purpose, affirmation, and to be seen and desired. The Fall threw a wrench in our once-natural ability to get them perfectly met by God and supported by people, however, and now we have natural inclinations to get these good needs met in ways that don't satisfy us and don't glorify God. (That natural inclination is known as our sin nature.) Our default is now idolatry.
Eden Invitation co-founders, Anna Carter and Shannon Ochoa, launch our 10-week series on Core Needs by talking about the need for nurture. These ministry leaders guide us beautifully through wrestling with how we see nurture develop throughout our life, and how we can look to our friends to support this nurture need without slipping into co-dependence. We also talk tattoos, donuts, and "getting in the freaking car" for a worship sesh. Join us on a journey of the soul.
Highlight:
"At the end of the day it's an invitation: To love and be loved . . . There's not a sense of dependence or your friends completing you, but we must be comfortable in naming it: 'In order for me to lean into the Lord more easily, I want to invite you to walk with me.'" --Shannon Ochoa
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 67: Holy Sexuality and the Gospel
Author, speaker, and professor, Dr. Christopher Yuan, brings his authentic self and expertise to the podcast microphone today. In addition to hearing his story, we explore our favorite names of God (with you listeners), expand on the reasons why it is beneficial to the church that there are more conversations around sexuality and gender in the world, and explore the questions, "Is God gender fluid?" "Why don't you identify as gay?" and "How do you confront the lonely life?"
It's another real-life conversation on the HIMH Podcast.
Highlights:
"We talk about the world having safe spaces. I wonder: Should not the church be the safest place in the world? Are we safe? I think we have a lot of ways to grow and learn. But, we don't just want to be safe. We want to be safe and redemptive." --Christopher Yuan
"We really need to begin living as the Church. As family. Yes, we have our blood relatives, but honestly? That is temporary. Marriage is temporary. The only true, eternal relationship that we will carry onto heaven are those bound by the blood of Christ." --Christopher Yuan
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
It's another real-life conversation on the HIMH Podcast.
Highlights:
"We talk about the world having safe spaces. I wonder: Should not the church be the safest place in the world? Are we safe? I think we have a lot of ways to grow and learn. But, we don't just want to be safe. We want to be safe and redemptive." --Christopher Yuan
"We really need to begin living as the Church. As family. Yes, we have our blood relatives, but honestly? That is temporary. Marriage is temporary. The only true, eternal relationship that we will carry onto heaven are those bound by the blood of Christ." --Christopher Yuan
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Episode 66: 7 Essential Failures of a Faithful Life
Failure makes you feel like . . . a failure. Should it? Should we celebrate some failures instead? Today we talk from Chad Bird, speaker, podcaster, and author of Upside-Down Spirituality: The 9 Essential Failures of a Faithful Life.
We will cover seven of those nine "essential failures." Three of which are:
We also continue a bit of the shame talk (hearing from you listeners!), and play a Bible trivia game utilizing Matt Krieg's Bible trivia book from the 90s and the minds of all the nerds on the podcast. Chad is real and really helpful. You're welcome to join us at the table.
Highlight:
"God is a beatitude kind of God. He calls something 'blessed' that the world would often call 'cursed.'" --Chad Bird
"Its no wonder if the kids wonder if God hates them, because a lot of what we experience in life make us feel like there is somebody above us, and we are on his hit list . . . The more we can focus God's love for us and everything that entails, that's really what the kids and the adults need to hear over and over." --Chad Bird
"The more time we spend being formed but the Jerusalem of the church, the safer we will be in the Babylon of the world."--Chad Bird
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Do the Next Thing:
Follow Chad on Twitter and Facebook
Read his book Upside-Down Spirituality: The 9 Essential Failures of a Christian Life
Check out his great website.
We will cover seven of those nine "essential failures." Three of which are:
- The failure to believe in ourselves or, "The good news that God doesn't believe in you"
- The failure to follow our hearts or "Go home heart, you're drunk"
- The failure to find our soulmate or "Love will not sustain your marriage"
We also continue a bit of the shame talk (hearing from you listeners!), and play a Bible trivia game utilizing Matt Krieg's Bible trivia book from the 90s and the minds of all the nerds on the podcast. Chad is real and really helpful. You're welcome to join us at the table.
Highlight:
"God is a beatitude kind of God. He calls something 'blessed' that the world would often call 'cursed.'" --Chad Bird
"Its no wonder if the kids wonder if God hates them, because a lot of what we experience in life make us feel like there is somebody above us, and we are on his hit list . . . The more we can focus God's love for us and everything that entails, that's really what the kids and the adults need to hear over and over." --Chad Bird
"The more time we spend being formed but the Jerusalem of the church, the safer we will be in the Babylon of the world."--Chad Bird
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Do the Next Thing:
Follow Chad on Twitter and Facebook
Read his book Upside-Down Spirituality: The 9 Essential Failures of a Christian Life
Check out his great website.
Episode 65: Exploring Our Souls of Shame Part 2
"I think I am afraid of being in *God's* presence. The thing is I am afraid to be in *my* presence. I am afraid to look at and have God see me as I see me . . . I am sure that when I look up again He will have left the rom. And shockingly, He does not." --Curt Thompson, M.D.
Let's dive right back into the shame conversation with Dr. Curt Thompson, and explore how shame began and how we can practically combat it.
Highlights:
"God--even in His pursuit--He is not going to shame us. He is not going to twist my arm. He is not going to shame me for not having my shame cleaned up well enough. He is going to relentlessly pursue me."--Curt Thompson
"The healing of shame is not just a way for us to not longer feel bad about ourselves. It’s a way to re-commission us to do the work of goodness and beauty that God has had for us since before the creation of the world."--Curt Thompson
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Let's dive right back into the shame conversation with Dr. Curt Thompson, and explore how shame began and how we can practically combat it.
Highlights:
"God--even in His pursuit--He is not going to shame us. He is not going to twist my arm. He is not going to shame me for not having my shame cleaned up well enough. He is going to relentlessly pursue me."--Curt Thompson
"The healing of shame is not just a way for us to not longer feel bad about ourselves. It’s a way to re-commission us to do the work of goodness and beauty that God has had for us since before the creation of the world."--Curt Thompson
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 64: Exploring Our Souls of Shame Part 1
Shame affects all of us--even if we don't know how to name it. It often drapes us in a vague feeling of being covered in a wet blanket. It speaks, "I am worth less. I must hide. There is something wrong with me."
How can we address it neurologically, spiritually, and practically? We brought in the big guns to answer all three shame categories today: Dr. Curt Thompson, MD, author of one of our favorite books, The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves.
This and next week's conversation are not ones to miss. They impacted us all deeply.
Highlights:
"The gospel--if it is good news--does not begin with 'I am more sinful than I believe.' It begins, in fact, with 'I am more loved than I can imagine.' It is in that space of being loved incessantly, relentlessly, that we become aware just how sinful we are." --Dr. Curt Thompson, M.D.
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
How can we address it neurologically, spiritually, and practically? We brought in the big guns to answer all three shame categories today: Dr. Curt Thompson, MD, author of one of our favorite books, The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves.
This and next week's conversation are not ones to miss. They impacted us all deeply.
Highlights:
"The gospel--if it is good news--does not begin with 'I am more sinful than I believe.' It begins, in fact, with 'I am more loved than I can imagine.' It is in that space of being loved incessantly, relentlessly, that we become aware just how sinful we are." --Dr. Curt Thompson, M.D.
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 63: Jump Starting Spiritual disciplines
It's almost the new year, and many of us are thinking about doing something to jumpstart positive choices next year. But what about today?
Sharon Garlough Brown, author of the Sensible Shoes series, walks (ha) us through the basics and depth of spiritual disciplines. We cover things like, "Are spiritual disciplines for the hyper-spiritual, Enneagram 4, flower children?" "Does lament have to be so depressing?" and "What can we do today--what one step can we take?"
We also play a pretty hilarious game of "Finish that Christmas Carol." We'd love for you to join us.
Highlights:
"That's what lament is: It's crawling up into the lap of God, saying the hard things, and knowing that God holds us in those things." --Sharon Garlough Brown
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Sharon Garlough Brown, author of the Sensible Shoes series, walks (ha) us through the basics and depth of spiritual disciplines. We cover things like, "Are spiritual disciplines for the hyper-spiritual, Enneagram 4, flower children?" "Does lament have to be so depressing?" and "What can we do today--what one step can we take?"
We also play a pretty hilarious game of "Finish that Christmas Carol." We'd love for you to join us.
Highlights:
"That's what lament is: It's crawling up into the lap of God, saying the hard things, and knowing that God holds us in those things." --Sharon Garlough Brown
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 62: Let's Admit it: We're All Addicts
We call ourselves "gospel addicts" but what is an addict? Author, psychologist, and addiction expert, Dr. Gregory Jantz, breaks down some of the attributes and questions we may have about the following addictions:
Alcohol / Food (eating too much or little) / Work / Sex/pornography / Relationships / TV/Netflix / Social Media
Because we can't help ourselves, we dive into the Die Hard debate (Christmas movie or nah?), and play a game called, "Top Toy or Misfit?" (Players have to guess which toy is a top seller this year, and which one was dubbed a danger.) Come play and learn with us.
Highlights:
"[We must look in the] mirror and say, 'If I keep doing this, what is going to happen to me? What is going to happen to those I love?" --Dr. Gregory Jantz
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Alcohol / Food (eating too much or little) / Work / Sex/pornography / Relationships / TV/Netflix / Social Media
Because we can't help ourselves, we dive into the Die Hard debate (Christmas movie or nah?), and play a game called, "Top Toy or Misfit?" (Players have to guess which toy is a top seller this year, and which one was dubbed a danger.) Come play and learn with us.
Highlights:
"[We must look in the] mirror and say, 'If I keep doing this, what is going to happen to me? What is going to happen to those I love?" --Dr. Gregory Jantz
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 61: Keeping the Kids Safe
Fruit of knowing the Good News is believing that God loves kids. He cares about their souls, he cares about their spirits, and he cares about their bodies.
That is the focus of this episode: How can we protect our children, our nieces and nephews, and our friends' kids from childhood sexual abuse? How can we do it in a way that is not "shamey"? We explore it today with experts and authors of the important kids' book, God Made All of Me, Justin and Lindsey Holcomb. (We also play a silly "Is this a Hallmark Movie or a Shmallmark Movie" game, and it turns out they are experts there, too.)
Highlight:
"We are all about swimming safety, bicycle safety, wearing your helmet, getting in your your car seat, and wearing your seat belt. Add this to that: This is body safety. This is prevention and awareness. Lump it into that category, and feel empowered in your role as their advocate." --Lindsey Holcomb
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
That is the focus of this episode: How can we protect our children, our nieces and nephews, and our friends' kids from childhood sexual abuse? How can we do it in a way that is not "shamey"? We explore it today with experts and authors of the important kids' book, God Made All of Me, Justin and Lindsey Holcomb. (We also play a silly "Is this a Hallmark Movie or a Shmallmark Movie" game, and it turns out they are experts there, too.)
Highlight:
"We are all about swimming safety, bicycle safety, wearing your helmet, getting in your your car seat, and wearing your seat belt. Add this to that: This is body safety. This is prevention and awareness. Lump it into that category, and feel empowered in your role as their advocate." --Lindsey Holcomb
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 60: Walking Well as Pastors, Parents, and Therapists
Let's take it back to the basics and then broaden to the more complex: What does LGBTQIA mean (and why doesn't the term "homosexuals" cover it)? Where can parents take their mix of emotions when their kid comes out? Is there even a right and wrong when it comes to the gender conversation?
We are tackling some big and basic questions related to pastors, parents, and therapists today, and who better to navigate with us than Christian expert in the field, Dr. Mark Yarhouse?
Mark is is Professor of Psychology at Regent University in Virginia Beach, and has published over 80 peer-reviewed journal articles and very helpful books in including, Understanding Sexual Identity: A Resource for Youth Ministers and Understanding Gender Dysphoria: Navigating Transgender Issues in a Changing Culture.
Ready? Let's go.
Highlight:
"What happens in ministries and what happens in families is we overreact to what's above the surface . . . rather than minister to what's beneath." ---Dr. Mark Yarhouse
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
We are tackling some big and basic questions related to pastors, parents, and therapists today, and who better to navigate with us than Christian expert in the field, Dr. Mark Yarhouse?
Mark is is Professor of Psychology at Regent University in Virginia Beach, and has published over 80 peer-reviewed journal articles and very helpful books in including, Understanding Sexual Identity: A Resource for Youth Ministers and Understanding Gender Dysphoria: Navigating Transgender Issues in a Changing Culture.
Ready? Let's go.
Highlight:
"What happens in ministries and what happens in families is we overreact to what's above the surface . . . rather than minister to what's beneath." ---Dr. Mark Yarhouse
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 59: A Tiny [LIving] Act of Obedience
What do you get when you cross 350-square-feet, six people, a one one-eyed cat named Sirius, and an honest look at what makes up our identity? This episode.
Ashley Auerbach, a mom of four turned-tiny-living expert (whose life is soon to be featured on a TV show!), talks about obedience and the beautiful shredding it does to our perceptions of self. We also have her figure out our tiny living problems such as how to play Cones of Dunshire in our hypothetical new RV, and what to do in said hypothetical RV if we want to buy our kids those crazy huge Costco bears for Christmas. We laugh and get real per usual.
Highlight:
"My identity was wrapped up in what I did for people and how I entertained and how I opened my home. Because I couldn't do any of those things my identity took a real hit. And it's still taking a real hit." --Ashley Auerbach
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Ashley Auerbach, a mom of four turned-tiny-living expert (whose life is soon to be featured on a TV show!), talks about obedience and the beautiful shredding it does to our perceptions of self. We also have her figure out our tiny living problems such as how to play Cones of Dunshire in our hypothetical new RV, and what to do in said hypothetical RV if we want to buy our kids those crazy huge Costco bears for Christmas. We laugh and get real per usual.
Highlight:
"My identity was wrapped up in what I did for people and how I entertained and how I opened my home. Because I couldn't do any of those things my identity took a real hit. And it's still taking a real hit." --Ashley Auerbach
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 58: If Looks Could Heal
Yup. We are talking about looks. Specifically, clothing. This may seem like too surface-level of a conversation for this podcast, but aren't clothes an expression of who we are? An expression of who God made us to be?
We would say, yes. This conversation arose as I (Laurie) was stressing out way too much about what to wear on a stage. I found myself dressing for my audience as opposed to dressing as an expression of who God made me to be.
Then Kelli O'Dell--a friend and our Producer Steve's wife--entered the scene. She got to know my heart and helped me express it tangibly. Now, I don't stress. I just live. If you feel annoyingly stressed about expressing yourself tangibly via clothes, you may leave practically encouraged after listening.
Highlight:
"When you do this process and find out, 'These are my colors, these are the shapes that look good,' it simplifies your life . . . You are freed up to focus on other people. You kind of forget about yourself." --Kelli O'Dell
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
We would say, yes. This conversation arose as I (Laurie) was stressing out way too much about what to wear on a stage. I found myself dressing for my audience as opposed to dressing as an expression of who God made me to be.
Then Kelli O'Dell--a friend and our Producer Steve's wife--entered the scene. She got to know my heart and helped me express it tangibly. Now, I don't stress. I just live. If you feel annoyingly stressed about expressing yourself tangibly via clothes, you may leave practically encouraged after listening.
Highlight:
"When you do this process and find out, 'These are my colors, these are the shapes that look good,' it simplifies your life . . . You are freed up to focus on other people. You kind of forget about yourself." --Kelli O'Dell
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 57: The "whys" Behind Pornography Addiction
If you have ever struggled with pornography addiction or are close to someone who has, please listen to this episode.
Licensed mental-health counselor, ordained minister, and author Jay Stringer, helped peel back the layers of understanding for all of us as we heard results of his nearly 4,000-person study on the "whys" behind unwanted sexual behavior.
From the research laid out in his incredible book, Unwanted, we dig into family systems that can foster certain types of lust and anger, the power of shame (and what removes it), and steps to take toward actual freedom.
And of course, Chuck Norris and some ridiculous high-fiving action make an appearance.
Highlight:
"We need to learn to listen to our lust, and see what it says about us." --Jay Stringer
Listen:
SoundCloud Link
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
Licensed mental-health counselor, ordained minister, and author Jay Stringer, helped peel back the layers of understanding for all of us as we heard results of his nearly 4,000-person study on the "whys" behind unwanted sexual behavior.
From the research laid out in his incredible book, Unwanted, we dig into family systems that can foster certain types of lust and anger, the power of shame (and what removes it), and steps to take toward actual freedom.
And of course, Chuck Norris and some ridiculous high-fiving action make an appearance.
Highlight:
"We need to learn to listen to our lust, and see what it says about us." --Jay Stringer
Listen:
SoundCloud Link
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
Episode 56: Seven Ways to Navigate a Sexually Shifting Culture
Do you intrinsically feel the shift in culture over the last ten years or so, but you can't quite name it? Author and pastor Sam Allberry can. In addition to being a really great hang, Sam lays out four cultural shifts and seven responses to those shifts on today's episode.
This is not one to miss.
Highlight:
"Jesus is not as easy as we think he is when it comes to these issues. That is so important to know because if they are angry at this stuff they aren't angry at Christianity, they aren't angry at me, they aren't angry at you, they aren't angry at the church. Actually, their real issue is with Jesus, and they need to realize that." --Sam Allberry
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
This is not one to miss.
Highlight:
"Jesus is not as easy as we think he is when it comes to these issues. That is so important to know because if they are angry at this stuff they aren't angry at Christianity, they aren't angry at me, they aren't angry at you, they aren't angry at the church. Actually, their real issue is with Jesus, and they need to realize that." --Sam Allberry
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 55: Purity Movement or Sexual Integrity?
If you grew up in the purity movement era of Christianity--where a lot of talk around sexuality was based on 'just say 'no' to sex before marriage'--were you burned by it? Encouraged by it?
Our friend, Jason Soucinek, executive director and founder of ProjectSix19 talks us through the benefits and detriments of talking about sexuality with a focus on this type of purity, and helps us consider another way.
We also dig into favorite group games (just don't talk about kickball kaythxsbye), get a bit crazy about being inclusive of single people, and have a giant take us to Goofball Island for reasons we still don't quite know.
Highlight:
"As a parent, you want to be Google to your children--especially when it comes to [sexuality]." --Jason Soucinek
Listen:
SoundCloud Link
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
Our friend, Jason Soucinek, executive director and founder of ProjectSix19 talks us through the benefits and detriments of talking about sexuality with a focus on this type of purity, and helps us consider another way.
We also dig into favorite group games (just don't talk about kickball kaythxsbye), get a bit crazy about being inclusive of single people, and have a giant take us to Goofball Island for reasons we still don't quite know.
Highlight:
"As a parent, you want to be Google to your children--especially when it comes to [sexuality]." --Jason Soucinek
Listen:
SoundCloud Link
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
Episode 54: Family Dinner
Every week, we invite people into our home for food, conversation, and games. It's basically the podcast but in real life. My real life little sister, Angela Bowles, talks about how this works both as a biological sibling and sister in Christ. We also discuss the first time I shared my story with Angela (on her 16th birthday?!), how we get motivated to do hard things, and PLEASE listen to the after-closing bloopers. We guffawed.
Highlight:
"That's why Fram Din works: It's because it's not about sexual issues necessarily, it's about being 'with.'"--Angela Bowles
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Highlight:
"That's why Fram Din works: It's because it's not about sexual issues necessarily, it's about being 'with.'"--Angela Bowles
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 53: Saying "Yes"
Do you ever wonder how people can go from living comfortably to saying "yes" to serving people courageously? We do. So we asked some of our friends how they did it.
Tom Mollhagen transformed from being born in a brothel in India, to living the American dream, to going back and serving those he left behind. His wife, Dana, went from accepting Jesus on a swing set at five years old, to a successful nursing career, to working side-by-side with Thomas in India. Our friends are not special Christians; they are normal Christians who are obedient.
Hear how they went from the American dream to saying "yes" no matter what (and of course play a ridiculous game alongside them) on this week's episode.
Highlights:
"I was born in a brothel. I was the untouchable, and the lowest caste. We had no hope. The only way they can live out of that caste system is by bringing the gospel and telling them they don't have to live that life. God paid for it... We don't have to earn it anymore." --Tom Mollhagen
"The gospel is so needed--both for the predator and the victim. I am kind of repulsed by that because we only want to think about the victim. But both need huge redemption. As I've seen this, [the perpetrators] need to be redeemed from viewing anyone as an object....For the children who have been though things (so many people who have been trafficked): The Lord has to heal that hurt. There is so much in this world that needs to be made right... God starts to do that work in us now, but there is a waiting in that hope that is to come." --Dana Mollhagen
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Tom Mollhagen transformed from being born in a brothel in India, to living the American dream, to going back and serving those he left behind. His wife, Dana, went from accepting Jesus on a swing set at five years old, to a successful nursing career, to working side-by-side with Thomas in India. Our friends are not special Christians; they are normal Christians who are obedient.
Hear how they went from the American dream to saying "yes" no matter what (and of course play a ridiculous game alongside them) on this week's episode.
Highlights:
"I was born in a brothel. I was the untouchable, and the lowest caste. We had no hope. The only way they can live out of that caste system is by bringing the gospel and telling them they don't have to live that life. God paid for it... We don't have to earn it anymore." --Tom Mollhagen
"The gospel is so needed--both for the predator and the victim. I am kind of repulsed by that because we only want to think about the victim. But both need huge redemption. As I've seen this, [the perpetrators] need to be redeemed from viewing anyone as an object....For the children who have been though things (so many people who have been trafficked): The Lord has to heal that hurt. There is so much in this world that needs to be made right... God starts to do that work in us now, but there is a waiting in that hope that is to come." --Dana Mollhagen
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 52: Good Faith Takes Good Courage
91% of US adults believe the best way to find yourself is by looking within yourself, and 2 out of 5 Americans believe that, when it comes to what happens in the country today, "people of faith" and "religion" are a part of the problems in our country. How can we speak into this environment as believers?
Author, speaker, and leader of leaders, Gabe Lyons, helps break down how Christians can be both courageous and faithful in a world that thinks we are extreme and irrelevant. We also discuss the Gabe's Enneagram number, one of his most embarrassing moments, and we all were privileged to watch God weave the conversation together with the themes of courage and confession.
This one is not one to miss.
Highlight:
"People are afraid to speak up... There is actually this belief in the 'boogey man'--this monster out there that's bigger in your mind than it really is. You start to realize that when you start to tell the truth, people are hungry for the truth, they are looking for the truth, nobody is saying the truth, and finally when somebody does in a kind, loving way (and with the right posture), people start to respond." --Gabe Lyons
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Author, speaker, and leader of leaders, Gabe Lyons, helps break down how Christians can be both courageous and faithful in a world that thinks we are extreme and irrelevant. We also discuss the Gabe's Enneagram number, one of his most embarrassing moments, and we all were privileged to watch God weave the conversation together with the themes of courage and confession.
This one is not one to miss.
Highlight:
"People are afraid to speak up... There is actually this belief in the 'boogey man'--this monster out there that's bigger in your mind than it really is. You start to realize that when you start to tell the truth, people are hungry for the truth, they are looking for the truth, nobody is saying the truth, and finally when somebody does in a kind, loving way (and with the right posture), people start to respond." --Gabe Lyons
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 51: Radically Normal
Do you ever feel like you are a spiritual extremist? Some days you're running so hard and fast toward Jesus, and then you get tired. Or you mess up. Or someone says something to throw you off and you stop. And putz around a bit. And get discouraged. But then you get convicted and you start sprinting until you . . . don't. This back-forth, sprint-stop can be exhausting.
Josh Kelley, author of Radically Normal, talks through some of this "obsessive Christianity" and "complacent Christianity." What is the difference? How can we halt the extremism cycle? It was a conversation that made us all think. And laugh. (We play a game called "Christian or Secular" and the team has to decide if the lyrics belong to a Christian or not Christian song. Enya seems to walk the line of both.)
Highlight:
"Whether it's a bartender or a barista or a pastor or whatever God has called you to, you can be 100 percent completely devoted to God in that place. The only thing that's preventing you from being a whole-hearted follower of Jesus is not your education level, it's not where you live, it's not your job, its whether or not you choose to follow Him . . . with your whole heart." --Josh Kelley
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Josh Kelley, author of Radically Normal, talks through some of this "obsessive Christianity" and "complacent Christianity." What is the difference? How can we halt the extremism cycle? It was a conversation that made us all think. And laugh. (We play a game called "Christian or Secular" and the team has to decide if the lyrics belong to a Christian or not Christian song. Enya seems to walk the line of both.)
Highlight:
"Whether it's a bartender or a barista or a pastor or whatever God has called you to, you can be 100 percent completely devoted to God in that place. The only thing that's preventing you from being a whole-hearted follower of Jesus is not your education level, it's not where you live, it's not your job, its whether or not you choose to follow Him . . . with your whole heart." --Josh Kelley
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 50: GAy Girl, Good God, and Good Marriage
Author, poet, and artist, Jackie Hill Perry, is in the house! As we do with every guest, we get at the intersection between the gospel and Jackie's real, right-now life.
In addition to Jackie's story of surrender, we discuss how she and her husband stay connected through the storms of life, how to interact with people who want to make her into a deity or the devil, and if she were forced to only use Comic Sans or Papyrus fonts for the rest of her life--which would she choose? Join us.
P.S. You can hear Jackie's four-month-old baby off and on throughout the podcast. It's the sweetest.
Highlight:
"I really do believe that the gospel is foolish to those who are perishing. I really do believe that part of being a Christian is to be misunderstood. I cling a lot to the fact that when Jesus was teaching the truth they had the audacity to say he was possessed." --Jackie Hill Perry
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
In addition to Jackie's story of surrender, we discuss how she and her husband stay connected through the storms of life, how to interact with people who want to make her into a deity or the devil, and if she were forced to only use Comic Sans or Papyrus fonts for the rest of her life--which would she choose? Join us.
P.S. You can hear Jackie's four-month-old baby off and on throughout the podcast. It's the sweetest.
Highlight:
"I really do believe that the gospel is foolish to those who are perishing. I really do believe that part of being a Christian is to be misunderstood. I cling a lot to the fact that when Jesus was teaching the truth they had the audacity to say he was possessed." --Jackie Hill Perry
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 49: The Awkward Middle
If you're in need of hearing a story of God's unmistakable reality, you may want to listen here. David Bennett, author of A War of Loves (Zondervan, Nov. 2018), shares his story and God's obvious breaking into his life. David was a once an atheist LGBT+ activist, and now pours out his life for all people because of God's love in him. The story includes a psychic telling him he was chosen by Jesus, asking his friends what love is, a prophetic moment from an uncle, and a life-transforming prayer in a bar.
But after that transformation, David still has to walk what we call the awkward middle--navigating relationships on either "side" of this conversation. How does that work? Let's dig in.
We also play a game called "Elevensies," where we talk about which type of snack is absolutely necessary during morning snacks, afternoon tea, and movie snacks.
Highlight:
"I had been really, really politically active . . . working for gay marriage and very passionate about that and that political faction. I used to tear down all the Christian union posters on campus and put gay marriage march posters on top. That's where I was. [But] in the middle of this there was still this aching void in my heart. Still this, 'I want something more.'" --David Bennett
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
But after that transformation, David still has to walk what we call the awkward middle--navigating relationships on either "side" of this conversation. How does that work? Let's dig in.
We also play a game called "Elevensies," where we talk about which type of snack is absolutely necessary during morning snacks, afternoon tea, and movie snacks.
Highlight:
"I had been really, really politically active . . . working for gay marriage and very passionate about that and that political faction. I used to tear down all the Christian union posters on campus and put gay marriage march posters on top. That's where I was. [But] in the middle of this there was still this aching void in my heart. Still this, 'I want something more.'" --David Bennett
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Episode 48: How We Heal Part 3
Gratitude. Joy. Hope. God has done some healing work on us, and we are sharing a few reasons why and how. We get practical. Also we do a live, old-timey candy taste testing and it's disgusting. Welcome.
Highlights:
"The reason I didn't leave is the same reason you didn't leave: It's because of God." --Matt Krieg
"It's been so hard to crack open my heart and let people in, but it has been so worth it." --Laurie Krieg
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Highlights:
"The reason I didn't leave is the same reason you didn't leave: It's because of God." --Matt Krieg
"It's been so hard to crack open my heart and let people in, but it has been so worth it." --Laurie Krieg
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 47: Spiritual Friendships
Wesley Hill is known as a big brother to many people who have recently come out as celibate LGBT+ Christians. When this conversation was still whispered about in church basements, Wes stepped up to the podium and offered a beautiful picture of living with hope.
We talk about this "big brother" status, as well as dive into the new-to-us concept of emotional chastity: giving up the right or demand for extremely intimate non-sexual relationships.
Highlight:
"When you choose a life of sexual absence . . . you're not just choosing not to go to bed with someone, but you're also choosing a kind of emotional chastity. You're choosing a life that is surrendering not just physical intimacy, but a certain amount of emotional intimacy--or at least the idea that someone owes you that or that God owes you that." --Wesley Hill
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
We talk about this "big brother" status, as well as dive into the new-to-us concept of emotional chastity: giving up the right or demand for extremely intimate non-sexual relationships.
Highlight:
"When you choose a life of sexual absence . . . you're not just choosing not to go to bed with someone, but you're also choosing a kind of emotional chastity. You're choosing a life that is surrendering not just physical intimacy, but a certain amount of emotional intimacy--or at least the idea that someone owes you that or that God owes you that." --Wesley Hill
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Episode 46: When Your Kid Comes out
When I was first making the connection between my brain and attractions toward women, I promised myself that I would never tell my parents. I was terrified. "Would they reject me? Does this mean I am not a Christian? Or I'm the worst-broken Christian?"
I am so thankful that rejection wasn't a part of what I encountered, but it was still rocky. Lots of tears shed on this one with my dad, Randy Hekman. Also lots of cheese-related laughs. We play a game called "To Cheese or Not to Cheese." Come, laugh, cry, and goof around with us.
Highlight:
"Our biggest weapon as a parents is what? . . . Our prayers. And God loves our kids more than we do . . . so keep praying. Keep loving. That's what I say to moms and dads." --Randy Hekman
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
I am so thankful that rejection wasn't a part of what I encountered, but it was still rocky. Lots of tears shed on this one with my dad, Randy Hekman. Also lots of cheese-related laughs. We play a game called "To Cheese or Not to Cheese." Come, laugh, cry, and goof around with us.
Highlight:
"Our biggest weapon as a parents is what? . . . Our prayers. And God loves our kids more than we do . . . so keep praying. Keep loving. That's what I say to moms and dads." --Randy Hekman
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Episode 45: At the Intersection of Friendship and Loneliness
Loneliness. We all experience it, but not many of us want to talk about it. Let's start the conversation here (and connect it to the necessity of friendship) with blogger and our new friend, Bridget Eileen!
Also, we got new sound effects. Also we play "Explain a Film Plot Badly." IT FUNNY. Also listen to the end. Producer Steve likes to hide nuggets.
Highlight:
"I've seen what a struggle [friendship] is for myself. I have been able to forge close friendships . . . but there heaven't been many. There have been a few precious people here and there that I have found . . . But not everybody does find close friends because our culture doesn't have as much of an appreciation of friendship as something that is permanent and something that you prioritize." --Bridget Eileen
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Also, we got new sound effects. Also we play "Explain a Film Plot Badly." IT FUNNY. Also listen to the end. Producer Steve likes to hide nuggets.
Highlight:
"I've seen what a struggle [friendship] is for myself. I have been able to forge close friendships . . . but there heaven't been many. There have been a few precious people here and there that I have found . . . But not everybody does find close friends because our culture doesn't have as much of an appreciation of friendship as something that is permanent and something that you prioritize." --Bridget Eileen
Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Episode 44: Jealous of Your Suffering
When I (Laurie) was at a recent teaching event focused on leaning into LGBT+ conversation with grace and truth, I heard Daniel Mattson, author, speaker, and trombone player, share a story that made my jaw drop. As he taught, I found myself (for the first time) jealous of the way someone suffered. He offers that story here.
We also play a ridiculous game where we all practice our acting skills (as West Michigan moms, hungry dinosaurs, and texting Millennials with focal fry), and Daniel and I lean into what labels we choose to identify (same-sex attracted? gay?) and why. Welcome back, friends! We are so excited to walk this season with you.
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 43.5: "H.A.G.S.: (Have a great summer)
Remember when people used to write "HAGS" in your yearbook? That's this episode. Plus some more hearty stuff and a T-Rex costume.
We talk favorite Goofball Island and Heart of the Matter moments, how has this podcast impacted us from start to finish, and talk future goals for it (please come be our best friends, Chris Pratt and Terry Cruze).
Highlight:
“There were some days when Matt and I would come in and record, and we were in fuming states or silent states. This podcast was a place to laugh together and find where we agree--which is the gospel.” --Laurie Krieg
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
We talk favorite Goofball Island and Heart of the Matter moments, how has this podcast impacted us from start to finish, and talk future goals for it (please come be our best friends, Chris Pratt and Terry Cruze).
Highlight:
“There were some days when Matt and I would come in and record, and we were in fuming states or silent states. This podcast was a place to laugh together and find where we agree--which is the gospel.” --Laurie Krieg
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 43: Getting Campy
This is our last official full-length podcast for season one of the HIMH podcast! [Insert weeping]
We are going to us off into the July break talking about a favorite summer activity: camping.
But this episode covers much more than camp life. Our guest, Susan Titus, a shares practical experience of caring for LGBT+ campers as well as ways God has convicted her to love LGBT+ people. (Her methods include reaching out to people in gay bars and wearing rainbow bracelets). Per usual, we learn a lot about what it means to live missionally.
We also play a game called Camp or Tramp (is this a real camp experience or a faker?), and explore best and worst camp moments with our listener Question of the Week!
Highlight:
"What really propelled me down the path was we had a staff member...who came out about a relationship. [It] compelled me to get some skin in the game and really start to study, learn, and understand." --Susan Titus
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
We are going to us off into the July break talking about a favorite summer activity: camping.
But this episode covers much more than camp life. Our guest, Susan Titus, a shares practical experience of caring for LGBT+ campers as well as ways God has convicted her to love LGBT+ people. (Her methods include reaching out to people in gay bars and wearing rainbow bracelets). Per usual, we learn a lot about what it means to live missionally.
We also play a game called Camp or Tramp (is this a real camp experience or a faker?), and explore best and worst camp moments with our listener Question of the Week!
Highlight:
"What really propelled me down the path was we had a staff member...who came out about a relationship. [It] compelled me to get some skin in the game and really start to study, learn, and understand." --Susan Titus
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 42: The Codependency Complication
Friendship questions are some of the top inquiries we receive at HIMH. Is it biblical to have a best friend? At what point does a friendship turn codependent? What can we do about it?
We cover it with codependency expert, Kelly Needham--someone who loves friendship so much she's writing a book about it. (And if you recognize that last name, it's because she is married to Christian worship artist, Jimmy Needham! A little fact we didn't know until 60 seconds before recording... Our bad.)
We also get real deep into Tinkerbell and the Legend of the Neverbeast talk, as well as play a game called One Day where we answer who we would like to spend one day with (CCM artist (Kelly only has one right answer!), Food Network Star, Disney character, theologian...)
Highlights:
"We are called to be dependent on someone, but it's not each other--it's on Christ." --Kelly Needham
"Codependency ... is when our emotional sense of well-being becomes tied to another person." --Kelly Needham
"Over time their friendship became so enmeshed and unhealthy ... something that should have been really good (walking someone through pain and suffering) became its own version of sin and suffering." --Kelly Needham
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
We cover it with codependency expert, Kelly Needham--someone who loves friendship so much she's writing a book about it. (And if you recognize that last name, it's because she is married to Christian worship artist, Jimmy Needham! A little fact we didn't know until 60 seconds before recording... Our bad.)
We also get real deep into Tinkerbell and the Legend of the Neverbeast talk, as well as play a game called One Day where we answer who we would like to spend one day with (CCM artist (Kelly only has one right answer!), Food Network Star, Disney character, theologian...)
Highlights:
"We are called to be dependent on someone, but it's not each other--it's on Christ." --Kelly Needham
"Codependency ... is when our emotional sense of well-being becomes tied to another person." --Kelly Needham
"Over time their friendship became so enmeshed and unhealthy ... something that should have been really good (walking someone through pain and suffering) became its own version of sin and suffering." --Kelly Needham
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 41: A Gender Conversation
We have two incredible stories for you today:
One is of Kat LaPrairie, who identifies as transgender and experiences attractions toward women. Kat came out as gay after high school and had serial dating relationships with women for a decade. In those years, Kat woke up many nights "gasping for God."
The other story is of a mom, Kathi Bush. Kathi is a clinical therapist and mom to a son who wrestles with gender dysphoria. Kathi shares not only pieces of her journey with her son, but practical ways parents of children wrestling with gender dysphoria can journey alongside them well.
We also toss around our least favorite gender stereotypes, the Goo Goo Dolls (catch that opener? and the secret ending after the song at the very end?), and if we'd rather lose a year of our life or repeat the same day for 365 days. #itsgroundhogday
Highlights:
"That tugging at my heart, I felt it through those ten years. It would wake me up out of a sleep--where I would almost be gasping." --Kat LaPrairie
"As parents we must be really self-aware to put ourself in a posture of love: I am going to put myself in your shoes and put myself in your space. This isn't about me." --Kathi Bush
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
One is of Kat LaPrairie, who identifies as transgender and experiences attractions toward women. Kat came out as gay after high school and had serial dating relationships with women for a decade. In those years, Kat woke up many nights "gasping for God."
The other story is of a mom, Kathi Bush. Kathi is a clinical therapist and mom to a son who wrestles with gender dysphoria. Kathi shares not only pieces of her journey with her son, but practical ways parents of children wrestling with gender dysphoria can journey alongside them well.
We also toss around our least favorite gender stereotypes, the Goo Goo Dolls (catch that opener? and the secret ending after the song at the very end?), and if we'd rather lose a year of our life or repeat the same day for 365 days. #itsgroundhogday
Highlights:
"That tugging at my heart, I felt it through those ten years. It would wake me up out of a sleep--where I would almost be gasping." --Kat LaPrairie
"As parents we must be really self-aware to put ourself in a posture of love: I am going to put myself in your shoes and put myself in your space. This isn't about me." --Kathi Bush
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 40: The thing About Temptation
Friends: This is a story you 're not going to want to miss. Our guest, Rachel Gilson, wrote an article for Christianity today that was both award-winning and one of the most-read articles of 2017. When you hear her share her story of the gospel's good news for her here, you'll understand why.
The story includes girlfriends, binge drinking, and a stolen copy of Mere Christianity. Rachel also shares about the gospel's right-now good newsiness in her walk with ongoing temptation.
Because we are the HIMH podcast, we naturally discuss the past-tense version of the word, "cheat," the difference between a high-five and a fist-bump, and we play a game called Mascot or Villain (where you have to guess if the name is a sports mascot or super villain).
Highlight:
"I knew I couldn't pretend that the gospel wasn't real just because it was inconvenient for me. That would be the definition of stupidity."
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
The story includes girlfriends, binge drinking, and a stolen copy of Mere Christianity. Rachel also shares about the gospel's right-now good newsiness in her walk with ongoing temptation.
Because we are the HIMH podcast, we naturally discuss the past-tense version of the word, "cheat," the difference between a high-five and a fist-bump, and we play a game called Mascot or Villain (where you have to guess if the name is a sports mascot or super villain).
Highlight:
"I knew I couldn't pretend that the gospel wasn't real just because it was inconvenient for me. That would be the definition of stupidity."
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 39: Envy, Pride, and Leadership
Are we all leaders because of social media? How does social media play into the struggle with envy? When does pride get mixed up into that? (And what's the relationship to all of this and self-hatred?)
We explore it with pastor, author, and speaker Adam Barr. We also walk with tauntauns, wampas, (and therefore the relationship between Star Wars and Dr. Seuss), and Matt Krieg comes up with the Goofball Island game for the first time. Woot!
Highlight:
"Jesus says... 'The harvest is plentiful and the workers are few.' Then he says, 'Pray to the Lord of the harvest.' He doesn't say, 'Get up and go out there!' He says, 'Pray.' Prayer is what unleashes anything good God wants to do in his Kingdom."
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
We explore it with pastor, author, and speaker Adam Barr. We also walk with tauntauns, wampas, (and therefore the relationship between Star Wars and Dr. Seuss), and Matt Krieg comes up with the Goofball Island game for the first time. Woot!
Highlight:
"Jesus says... 'The harvest is plentiful and the workers are few.' Then he says, 'Pray to the Lord of the harvest.' He doesn't say, 'Get up and go out there!' He says, 'Pray.' Prayer is what unleashes anything good God wants to do in his Kingdom."
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 38: Gender and Jesus
Dr. Preston Sprinkle is in the house!
We are hitting the New York Times bestseller with all the hard questions: What is your Enneagram number? What's your Hogwarts house? Where did the phrase "kick the bucket" come from?
AFTER ALL OF DAT, we do talk a bit about God's design for gender, premarital sex (what does the Bible say?), and when to speak truth in love.
Highlight:
"Our leadership has to be consistently promoting and embodying a counter-cultural way of doing community that is really shocking and life-giving to people... Our current church structures are largely resistant to that kind of deep, vibrant, vulnerable types of communities that the New Testament is longing for."
Question of the Week:
When do you feel the most envious?
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
We are hitting the New York Times bestseller with all the hard questions: What is your Enneagram number? What's your Hogwarts house? Where did the phrase "kick the bucket" come from?
AFTER ALL OF DAT, we do talk a bit about God's design for gender, premarital sex (what does the Bible say?), and when to speak truth in love.
Highlight:
"Our leadership has to be consistently promoting and embodying a counter-cultural way of doing community that is really shocking and life-giving to people... Our current church structures are largely resistant to that kind of deep, vibrant, vulnerable types of communities that the New Testament is longing for."
Question of the Week:
When do you feel the most envious?
Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 37: The Gospel Comes with a House Key
We have a controversial guest on our podcast today: Rosaria Butterfield. Some of you may not know why she might be controversial; some of you may write off this podcast forever as a result of our interview.
Give us a minute to explain why we intentionally invited her: The world is increasingly becoming post-Christian. We need other Christians. We need to link arms with other believers (even if we disagree with pieces of what they say) so that the gospel is preached. If you give this one a chance, you may be surprised at how much you are challenged and how many times you find places of agreement.
We also talk about doilies, daydreaming about velociraptor attacks, auditioning for Disney, and we introduced Rosaria to a classic youth group game (Two Truths and a Lie) where kids effectively learn how to deceive each other. (Good job, us.)
Highlight:
"So many of the things that have created this post-Christian world would not have happened had the Body of Christ lived like the Body of Christ. The fact that we have relegated people to crushing loneliness is obscene."
Question of the Week:
What is the next hospitality step you took this week? (Also, if you have any questions for Preston, hit us up! Lord willing, he will be on next week--for real this time.)
Links:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Give us a minute to explain why we intentionally invited her: The world is increasingly becoming post-Christian. We need other Christians. We need to link arms with other believers (even if we disagree with pieces of what they say) so that the gospel is preached. If you give this one a chance, you may be surprised at how much you are challenged and how many times you find places of agreement.
We also talk about doilies, daydreaming about velociraptor attacks, auditioning for Disney, and we introduced Rosaria to a classic youth group game (Two Truths and a Lie) where kids effectively learn how to deceive each other. (Good job, us.)
Highlight:
"So many of the things that have created this post-Christian world would not have happened had the Body of Christ lived like the Body of Christ. The fact that we have relegated people to crushing loneliness is obscene."
Question of the Week:
What is the next hospitality step you took this week? (Also, if you have any questions for Preston, hit us up! Lord willing, he will be on next week--for real this time.)
Links:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 36: 20-Somethings and Discipleship
Did you or do you feel lost in your 20s? Lonely? Our guest, Drew Boa, asked (and still asks) in his 20s, "What is my purpose? Who are my people? Where do I belong?" Let's dive into that 20-something lostness, and talk about feeling lost in general. Then, let's explore how we can get anchored.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Episode 35: How We Heal Part 2
The hearty portion of this week's podcast is all about authenticity and intimacy: How can we be authentic without over-sharing? Can pastors/leaders be authentic? Should they be? How do emotional, physical, and spiritual intimacy relate to marriage and friendship?
We are very heavy-handed with the goofball part of the show: In a fight between Eleven from Stranger Things and Hermione Granger from Harry Potter, who would win? Would you rather lose your texting ability or have to use dial-up internet forever? Would you rather have terrible dandruff, body odor, or flatulence?
You get it all here at the Hole in My Heart Podcast.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Lin
We are very heavy-handed with the goofball part of the show: In a fight between Eleven from Stranger Things and Hermione Granger from Harry Potter, who would win? Would you rather lose your texting ability or have to use dial-up internet forever? Would you rather have terrible dandruff, body odor, or flatulence?
You get it all here at the Hole in My Heart Podcast.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Lin
Episode 34: How We Heal
Eh, boy. Here we go again! Getting vulnerable. As a follow-up to the now infamous (and most listened-to) Episode 24: Is There Hope for Us?, Matt and I give an update on our marriage's healing journey. We get really real. We pray you are only blessed by it.
We also talk men's and women's ministries/conferences/retreats and the gifts and drawbacks of them, and I do a HILARIOUS round of Mom Jokes regarding cold weather. (I'm begging you to laugh.)
Highlight:
"The problem for me was I knew when we got married ... it was not this erotic, hormone-driven sexual desire. That was not there in the beginning. So what I rested my laurels on (and maybe made an idol of), was this friendship with you [Matt]. 'Well, at least if we can have this friendship with you, that can lead to sexual intimacy...' Nope. Gone. And when that was taken away what was left was this patched together, barely-tolerant-of-each-other marriage ... and God." //Laurie
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
We also talk men's and women's ministries/conferences/retreats and the gifts and drawbacks of them, and I do a HILARIOUS round of Mom Jokes regarding cold weather. (I'm begging you to laugh.)
Highlight:
"The problem for me was I knew when we got married ... it was not this erotic, hormone-driven sexual desire. That was not there in the beginning. So what I rested my laurels on (and maybe made an idol of), was this friendship with you [Matt]. 'Well, at least if we can have this friendship with you, that can lead to sexual intimacy...' Nope. Gone. And when that was taken away what was left was this patched together, barely-tolerant-of-each-other marriage ... and God." //Laurie
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Episode 33: Sexual Discipleship
Who comes to your mind when you think about mentors or disciple-makers? Who comes to mind when you think about sexual discipleship? Anybody? We are all sexually discipled (whether or not we realize it) by the world. We learn its significance, importance (or lack thereof), and how to approach it by the world. We need another way.
Our friend and co-laborer in the Kingdom, Dr. Juli Slattery, author, speaker, and fellow podcaster walks us through a beautiful start of this conversation and some highlights in her fantastic new book, Rethinking Sexuality.
We are real, we are gospel-focused, but because we can't ever keep things too serious, we talk about ridiculous but important-to-us things: How the gateway drug to alcohol is Mountain Dew (you know we are right), clean mullets, singing the Circle of Life at the top of your lungs, Morning Ninja Steve, and what if everything you ate tasted like bananas? It's a fun game of "Would you Rather," and a deep talk with our friend Dr. Juli Slattery.
Highlight:
"The [disciple-maker] grit doesn't come from this view of, 'I have so much to offer somebody else.' It comes from, 'I have encountered God in such a powerful way that I am just a leaky vessel that I want the Lord to pour through.'"
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Our friend and co-laborer in the Kingdom, Dr. Juli Slattery, author, speaker, and fellow podcaster walks us through a beautiful start of this conversation and some highlights in her fantastic new book, Rethinking Sexuality.
We are real, we are gospel-focused, but because we can't ever keep things too serious, we talk about ridiculous but important-to-us things: How the gateway drug to alcohol is Mountain Dew (you know we are right), clean mullets, singing the Circle of Life at the top of your lungs, Morning Ninja Steve, and what if everything you ate tasted like bananas? It's a fun game of "Would you Rather," and a deep talk with our friend Dr. Juli Slattery.
Highlight:
"The [disciple-maker] grit doesn't come from this view of, 'I have so much to offer somebody else.' It comes from, 'I have encountered God in such a powerful way that I am just a leaky vessel that I want the Lord to pour through.'"
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Episode 32: Guiding Families
4.7.18
Friends: If you haven't ever listened to our podcast, start here! We have a special guest, Bill Henson, who is a spirit-filled well of wisdom.
If you are a parent of an LGBT+ child, a Christian leader who wants to be more inclusive (while still holding to a historically Christian view), identify as LGBT+, or simply care about LGBT+ people, this one is for you.
In addition to talking about walking with LGBT+ friends and family, we also talk about the first time we learned we were missionaries, how we listen to music (in the car? at home? at church?), and about an upcoming joint-retreat HIMH is hosting with Bill and Lead Them Home.
Don't miss this one!
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Friends: If you haven't ever listened to our podcast, start here! We have a special guest, Bill Henson, who is a spirit-filled well of wisdom.
If you are a parent of an LGBT+ child, a Christian leader who wants to be more inclusive (while still holding to a historically Christian view), identify as LGBT+, or simply care about LGBT+ people, this one is for you.
In addition to talking about walking with LGBT+ friends and family, we also talk about the first time we learned we were missionaries, how we listen to music (in the car? at home? at church?), and about an upcoming joint-retreat HIMH is hosting with Bill and Lead Them Home.
Don't miss this one!
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Episode 31: How to Talk with the Kids
3.30.18
It sends terror through all parents: How do we talk with the kids about sexuality? Yikes. How do we?
We bring our first returning guest, Dr. Branson Parler, Professor of Theological Studies at Kuyper College, and Director of Faith Formation at Fourth Reformed Church in Grand Rapids, MI, to talk with us. In addition to his theological cred, he brings real-life walking with his five kids, ages 9, 7, 5, 3, and 1.
What we share here is important ground work, and (I hope) specific next steps.
We also talk about how to talk about Jesus with kids in general, and our favorite childhood snacks. (Oh yeah, there was that one time I thought I invented the quesadilla. Like, for real I thought that.) Also, we talk Kool Aid Man. Oh, yeah.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
It sends terror through all parents: How do we talk with the kids about sexuality? Yikes. How do we?
We bring our first returning guest, Dr. Branson Parler, Professor of Theological Studies at Kuyper College, and Director of Faith Formation at Fourth Reformed Church in Grand Rapids, MI, to talk with us. In addition to his theological cred, he brings real-life walking with his five kids, ages 9, 7, 5, 3, and 1.
What we share here is important ground work, and (I hope) specific next steps.
We also talk about how to talk about Jesus with kids in general, and our favorite childhood snacks. (Oh yeah, there was that one time I thought I invented the quesadilla. Like, for real I thought that.) Also, we talk Kool Aid Man. Oh, yeah.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Episode 30: Women Struggle with Lust, Too
3.23.18
Christians hardly bat an eye when we talk about men and their struggles with lust, but what about women? If women make up 1 out of every 3 visits to a pornographic website, if 17% of women consider themselves addicted to porn, and if half of women in a recent German sex study admit to watching porn, why don't we talk about it? Why are there so few resources?
If we are a woman who wrestles with pornography or lust in general, how can we get the shame-free help we need? Additionally, If we are a friend of a woman wrestling with lust, how can we come alongside our friends? We talk about it with our guest, author and speaker Amy Riordan.
Favorite Quote:
"To me, intimacy meant sex. I didn't realize there was a difference between the two. That started this whole thing with God showing me what I was really craving and wanting was intimacy--not sex.'" --Amy Riordan
To Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Christians hardly bat an eye when we talk about men and their struggles with lust, but what about women? If women make up 1 out of every 3 visits to a pornographic website, if 17% of women consider themselves addicted to porn, and if half of women in a recent German sex study admit to watching porn, why don't we talk about it? Why are there so few resources?
If we are a woman who wrestles with pornography or lust in general, how can we get the shame-free help we need? Additionally, If we are a friend of a woman wrestling with lust, how can we come alongside our friends? We talk about it with our guest, author and speaker Amy Riordan.
Favorite Quote:
"To me, intimacy meant sex. I didn't realize there was a difference between the two. That started this whole thing with God showing me what I was really craving and wanting was intimacy--not sex.'" --Amy Riordan
To Listen:
iTunes Link
GooglePlay Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 29: It Takes a Village
3.16.18
Youth leaders, this one is for you. We talk with our guest and New York City youth pastor, Ray Low, about his journey with sexuality and how his youth pastor walked with him well. We also talk a lot about what it is like to be a double minority as an Asian American and a sexual minority. This was an important conversation we were honored to have.
Favorite quotes:
"[At church] I saw a different kind of community that had a different kind of purpose. That's when the gospel started to make sense to me: when I started to see a community that extended beyond Sunday."
"[My youth pastor] would treat people like people. He would treat people like he had this calling to form a faith identity in each and every one of us. That looked like giving us that space to wrestle."
To Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Youth leaders, this one is for you. We talk with our guest and New York City youth pastor, Ray Low, about his journey with sexuality and how his youth pastor walked with him well. We also talk a lot about what it is like to be a double minority as an Asian American and a sexual minority. This was an important conversation we were honored to have.
Favorite quotes:
"[At church] I saw a different kind of community that had a different kind of purpose. That's when the gospel started to make sense to me: when I started to see a community that extended beyond Sunday."
"[My youth pastor] would treat people like people. He would treat people like he had this calling to form a faith identity in each and every one of us. That looked like giving us that space to wrestle."
To Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Episode 28: A New Voice
3.9.18
We laughed a lot on this one.We cracked up, and went to deep heart places with Nate Collins, special guest, author, and president and founder of the Revoice Conference. We chatted about starstruck moments (who almost got taken down by Francis Chan's security team, hmmm, LAURIE?!), smelling like bourbon, identity, and giving the historically Christian LGBT+ conversation a new voice in the local church.
A favorite quote:
"The way the gospel is good news for me now," Nate said, "is by living transparently. When that requires vulnerability, then being vulnerable. I've experienced so much grace in being known. And shame in being not known. [I was] put in the shadows, or ran to the shadows myself because I was afraid of transparency or vulnerability."
To Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Question of the Week: What are you looking forward to in summer? (Queue Olaf.)
Goofball Island: When have you been starstruck?
Helpful Links:
Revoice Conference (I'm going! You should too!): http://revoice.us
All But Invisible: Exploring Identity Questions at the Intersection of Faith, Gender, and Sexualityby Nate Collins
Question of the Week for Next Week: Which people groups (besides ones we have talked about on the podcast) are you passionate about?
We laughed a lot on this one.We cracked up, and went to deep heart places with Nate Collins, special guest, author, and president and founder of the Revoice Conference. We chatted about starstruck moments (who almost got taken down by Francis Chan's security team, hmmm, LAURIE?!), smelling like bourbon, identity, and giving the historically Christian LGBT+ conversation a new voice in the local church.
A favorite quote:
"The way the gospel is good news for me now," Nate said, "is by living transparently. When that requires vulnerability, then being vulnerable. I've experienced so much grace in being known. And shame in being not known. [I was] put in the shadows, or ran to the shadows myself because I was afraid of transparency or vulnerability."
To Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Question of the Week: What are you looking forward to in summer? (Queue Olaf.)
Goofball Island: When have you been starstruck?
Helpful Links:
Revoice Conference (I'm going! You should too!): http://revoice.us
All But Invisible: Exploring Identity Questions at the Intersection of Faith, Gender, and Sexualityby Nate Collins
Question of the Week for Next Week: Which people groups (besides ones we have talked about on the podcast) are you passionate about?
Episode 27: You and Me Forever: Chapters 6 and 7: What's Really Best for the Kids?
3.2.18
So...shocker: Parenting is hard. Also, life is hard. Today, we follow up with the brutally honest "Episode 24: Is There Hope for Us?" as well as discuss how we, as bleeding-heart parents, can be on mission (to make disciples) with our kids without hurting their hearts... How do we do that?
To Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Question of the Week: What is your biggest takeaway from this book?
Goofball Island: What was your favorite childhood TV show?
Helpful Links:
Laurie's post: The Day I Became Wonder Woman
Psychology Today: 10 Reasons Why Today's Teenagers Are So Anxious
Question of the Week for Next Week: What are you looking forward to this summer?
So...shocker: Parenting is hard. Also, life is hard. Today, we follow up with the brutally honest "Episode 24: Is There Hope for Us?" as well as discuss how we, as bleeding-heart parents, can be on mission (to make disciples) with our kids without hurting their hearts... How do we do that?
To Listen:
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Question of the Week: What is your biggest takeaway from this book?
Goofball Island: What was your favorite childhood TV show?
Helpful Links:
Laurie's post: The Day I Became Wonder Woman
Psychology Today: 10 Reasons Why Today's Teenagers Are So Anxious
Question of the Week for Next Week: What are you looking forward to this summer?
Episode 26: Marriage: What Is It Good For?
2.28.18
We have another guest! Dr. Branson Parler! To go with his movie star name and phD, Branson is FULL OF WISDOM! This was one of those conversations where Producer Steve, Matt, and I looked at each other while recording with our jaws dropped. He answered a lot of questions we had about the relationship between sexuality, married people, single people, and the Church.
Podcast Quotes:
"Paul can say, 'Stay single,' ...because the church is functioning as a family."
"Our bodies matter. Matter matters... The way God communicates his love to us is not just through this intellectual message that bounces off of us, the Word became flesh."
"Whether people are married or single, what everyone needs is a healing of our broken sexuality. It's not that marriage is this proper outlet for our lust. It is that lust needs to be killed across the board."
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Question of the Week: What is the top character quality you look for in a friend?
Goofball Island: Who was your childhood pet, and what was its tragic life ending?
Vehicle to get to Goofball Island: The dog van from Dumb and Dumber.
Helpful Links:
Branson's Blog: www.bransonparler.com
A super helpful (and well-liked) catechism he wrote on sexuality: https://www.bransonparler.com/blog/great-lakes-catechism-on-marriage-and-sexuality
Branson on The Center for Faith, Sexuality & Gender: http://www.centerforfaith.com/blog/what-our-weddings-say-about-marriage
Question of the Week for Next Week: What has this marriage series (walking through the 'You and Me Forever' book) taught you?
We have another guest! Dr. Branson Parler! To go with his movie star name and phD, Branson is FULL OF WISDOM! This was one of those conversations where Producer Steve, Matt, and I looked at each other while recording with our jaws dropped. He answered a lot of questions we had about the relationship between sexuality, married people, single people, and the Church.
Podcast Quotes:
"Paul can say, 'Stay single,' ...because the church is functioning as a family."
"Our bodies matter. Matter matters... The way God communicates his love to us is not just through this intellectual message that bounces off of us, the Word became flesh."
"Whether people are married or single, what everyone needs is a healing of our broken sexuality. It's not that marriage is this proper outlet for our lust. It is that lust needs to be killed across the board."
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Question of the Week: What is the top character quality you look for in a friend?
Goofball Island: Who was your childhood pet, and what was its tragic life ending?
Vehicle to get to Goofball Island: The dog van from Dumb and Dumber.
Helpful Links:
Branson's Blog: www.bransonparler.com
A super helpful (and well-liked) catechism he wrote on sexuality: https://www.bransonparler.com/blog/great-lakes-catechism-on-marriage-and-sexuality
Branson on The Center for Faith, Sexuality & Gender: http://www.centerforfaith.com/blog/what-our-weddings-say-about-marriage
Question of the Week for Next Week: What has this marriage series (walking through the 'You and Me Forever' book) taught you?
Episode 25: Friends in Low Places
2.16.18
How can you be a helpful friend to someone in pain? How can you be a helpful person in pain to your friends? How does co-dependency relate to this? We talk about it on the podcast with a guest, Tammy Perlmattur!
Tammy Perlmutter is founder and curator of The Mudroom, a collaborative blog encouraging women to speak truth, love hard, and enter in with each other, and co-founder of Deeply Rooted, a biannual worship, arts, and teaching gathering for women in Chicago. Tammy is a member of Redbud Writers Guild, an urban beekeeper, and lives in an intentional Christian community in Chicago.
We also talk lent, awkward clothes we used to wear (victorian lace boots? mullets? chopsticks in your hair?), favorite foods growing up (a whole loaf of bread on the table?), and women/friendship and same-sex attraction.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
How can you be a helpful friend to someone in pain? How can you be a helpful person in pain to your friends? How does co-dependency relate to this? We talk about it on the podcast with a guest, Tammy Perlmattur!
Tammy Perlmutter is founder and curator of The Mudroom, a collaborative blog encouraging women to speak truth, love hard, and enter in with each other, and co-founder of Deeply Rooted, a biannual worship, arts, and teaching gathering for women in Chicago. Tammy is a member of Redbud Writers Guild, an urban beekeeper, and lives in an intentional Christian community in Chicago.
We also talk lent, awkward clothes we used to wear (victorian lace boots? mullets? chopsticks in your hair?), favorite foods growing up (a whole loaf of bread on the table?), and women/friendship and same-sex attraction.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Episode 24: You and Me Forever
Chapter 5: Is There Hope For Us?
2.7.18
"Love... does not demand its own way" (1 Corinthians 13:5). This... this one is gritty. And beautiful. And sounds like two people pursuing God and each other in the midst of pain. It sounds a lot like real life. Today, on our nine-year anniversary, Matt and I open up about the last year-and-a-half of walking through the effects of trauma with a person. May it only bless you.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Question of the Week: What is something (pre-heaven) you are hopeful for?
Helpful Links: We are walking through this book (free on the app!). I quote this from RA Torrey: “We take the name of God upon our lips, but there is no conscious approach to God in our hearts. We are really taking the name of God in vain while we imagine we are praying to him... We should never utter one syllable of prayer either in public or in private, until we are definitely conscious that we have come into the presence of God, and are actually praying to Him.”--Rewards of Prayer, 5 in 1 Anthology.
I mention this blog post I wrote about anxiety right after Juliette was born, this post I wrote about "being okay with not being okay," and this post about journeying alongside someone who is processing trauma.
Episode 23: You and Me Forever
Chapter 4: Don't Waste Your Marriage
We talk birthday, which childhood movie traumatized you, and what have you said to friends when they say they can't "feel" and/or hear God's voice?
Here's good ol' Francis laying it down per usual: “I hear people complain that they don’t feel Jesus with them, they don’t experience the Holy Spirit. I usually ask them: Are you busy making disciples? ... If I want to find my friend Andrew, I can usually find him at the gym. If I want to find Adam, he’s probably at the beach. If I want to find Lisa, she’s probably at Target. If I want to find Jesus, I should share the gospel with someone. That’s where He will be. He is on the battlefield. He is pursuing the mission" (Chan, 100).
How can we pursue it, too--no matter our marital status?
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Question of the Week: How are you doing on your word for the year?
Helpful Link: We talk about when it is necessary to "be on mission while making disciples" while also getting soul care/counseling. Are the two incongruent? Here is a helpful Christianity Today article, "Evangelism, Meet Soul Care." Here's a quote:
"All true soul care requires us to come asking Lord, what do I need from you right now?Jesus gets this; he is continually meeting individuals with exactly what they need. He doesn’t come granting wishes. He comes perceiving our core need and invites us into acknowledging this in his presence. His tools are ever changing (mud and spit, fish, fig tree, water, words, etc.), yet his general method is not. First, he offers radical acceptance of the individual, often by breaking cultural barriers. Then he brings awareness to their hearts through questions that expose their motivations. Next he offers a new path of connection to the love of God specified to their exact inner needs and outer lives. Moving forward, this frees them to extravagantly love their neighbor."
Episode 22: You and Me Forever
Chapter 3: Learn to Fight Well
Matt, Producer Steve, and I (Laurie) have a guest! We asked last week for feedback on this marriage book and conversation from single people, and my friend Joie VanHolstein answered the call! We chat about how we have seen Jesus romance us lately, and which game show (or reality show) we would unquestionably win (and which we would undoubtedly fail). The Heart of the Matter focuses on fighting through humility, how people who have been affected by trauma can "die to self" without getting re-traumatized, and taking your hands off of your of your own throat as you are in process.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Podcast Extra: I quoted this: "If you want to build something significant for the Kingdom of God on earth, don't build a ministry, build a family." --Jeremy Riddle
Helpful Link: Read or listen to the book for free here! (Or just download the "You and Me Forever" app.)
Question of the Week: What childhood movie traumatized you as a child?
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Podcast Extra: I quoted this: "If you want to build something significant for the Kingdom of God on earth, don't build a ministry, build a family." --Jeremy Riddle
Helpful Link: Read or listen to the book for free here! (Or just download the "You and Me Forever" app.)
Question of the Week: What childhood movie traumatized you as a child?
Episode 21: You and Me Forever
Chapter 2: Pursue the Perfect Marriage
Matt Krieg, Producer Steve and I (Laurie) chat about chapter two of Francis and Lisa Chan's book You and Me Forever. Per usual, deep and silly conversations ensue including: What's up with drivers in California and in the Midwest? {and} What would our marriages look like IRL if the gospel was on display in them?
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Podcast Extra: I refer to Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas here, and this podcast about why God made us sexual by Dr. Juli Slattery.
Helpful Link: Read or listen to the book for free here! (Or just download the "You and Me Forever" app.)
Question of the Week: What is one way you saw Jesus romance/pursue/show himself to you this week?
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Podcast Extra: I refer to Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas here, and this podcast about why God made us sexual by Dr. Juli Slattery.
Helpful Link: Read or listen to the book for free here! (Or just download the "You and Me Forever" app.)
Question of the Week: What is one way you saw Jesus romance/pursue/show himself to you this week?
Episode 20: You and Me Forever
Chapter 1: Marriage Is Not That Great
Do people in mixed-orientation marriages have a different Bible they live by? Do they have a different set of marital guidelines? In a word: No. We don't. It only seems that way because we--married and single--have been missing the point not only of married life but of LIFE.
Life isn't about us. Is isn't about our happiness. It isn't about communication. It isn't about more dates. It isn't about fulfilling our needs. Life is all about Jesus.
For the next seven weeks we will be walking through Francis and Lisa Chan's book, "You and Me Forever," to see how we have missed this. We will get gritty and honest about real-life marital pain, but we hope to laugh and leave these weeks encouraged to build the Kingdom together: married, single, dating--however God has called us.
This week (per usual) we also talk randomness such as Instant-Pots and the scary-amazing show Stranger Things.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Podcast Extra: To get two free copies of the book "You And Me Forever," be the first to answer our question of the week, and email the answer to podcast@himhministries.com.
Helpful Link: To read the ebook or listen to it along with us for free, visit youandmeforever.org and download the free app.
Question of the Week: What do you hope to receive from this seven-week study?
Life isn't about us. Is isn't about our happiness. It isn't about communication. It isn't about more dates. It isn't about fulfilling our needs. Life is all about Jesus.
For the next seven weeks we will be walking through Francis and Lisa Chan's book, "You and Me Forever," to see how we have missed this. We will get gritty and honest about real-life marital pain, but we hope to laugh and leave these weeks encouraged to build the Kingdom together: married, single, dating--however God has called us.
This week (per usual) we also talk randomness such as Instant-Pots and the scary-amazing show Stranger Things.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Podcast Extra: To get two free copies of the book "You And Me Forever," be the first to answer our question of the week, and email the answer to podcast@himhministries.com.
Helpful Link: To read the ebook or listen to it along with us for free, visit youandmeforever.org and download the free app.
Question of the Week: What do you hope to receive from this seven-week study?
Episode 19: I'm Coming Out
+ Bonus Christmas Podcast
12.22.17
If you choose a life of vulnerability, you choose a life of continuously coming out--no matter your story, no matter your vulnerable places, no matter your struggle. You are always coming out into authenticity. Today, I (Laurie) share one of the first times I came out to a friend. And this is cool: This friend, Amber McClurg, is on the show! Hear Amber and I talk about that first (quite awkward) coming out experience, and what good came from it in spite of the awkwardness.
Additionally, Matt, Producer Steve, Amber and I chat about our words for 2018, things we don't like sharing, how to know if someone is safe to come out to, having a "healthy mistrust of yourself," heart-focused accountability, how we need more than one friend, and the risks of friendship.
Podcast Extras: I quote this: “In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out. By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all his facets... Hence true Friendship is the least jealous of loves. Two friends delight to be joined by a third, and three by a fourth, if only the newcomer is qualified to become a real friend. They can then say, as the blessed souls say in Dante, 'Here comes one who will augment our loves' For in this love 'to divide is not to take away.'”—CS Lewis, The Four Loves
I mentioned how Amber and I had accountability questions. Here they are:
- What number were you on the lust/struggling with sin scale this week? Why do you think that is? [8-10 meaning I am imminently going to do something I shouldn't. 1-3 meaning no problem at all. I, Laurie, usually hang out at a 4 range, so anything higher is something to note.]
- Is there anyone you spent extended time thinking about this week?
- What do you think you might be missing/anxious about/angry about/sad about in your heart that is driving these thoughts?
- What have you clicked on, read about, or looked at that stirred lustful thoughts in you?
- What are the God-glorifying pieces of this that you can thank God for? (Desire for intimacy, relationships, connection)
- How is your shame scale this week? Why do you think that is? [8-10 meaning I really hate myself. 1-3 meaning I am doing well in my self-perception.]
- How is your respect and love of [your spouse/those with whom you are in a committed friendship (read: like the disciples)/etc.] this week? Why do you think that is?
- What, of the above, do you need to confess as sin? (Lust, clicking, idolizing, etc.) What are you confessing as sin that you don't need to? (Temptation, etc.)
Helpful Link: Our friend Hayley Mullins wrote this article, "When a Loved One Comes Out." It could be helpful for us as we learn to receive each other authentically.
Question of the Week: What was the best present you gave and received this year?
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
BONUS PODCAST: Six extra minutes to spread Christmas joy. :)
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Episode 18: The Loneliness of Leadership
12.15.17
Are you a leader? (Is everyone a leader?) Do you ever feel lonely as a leader? Why is that? What can we do about it? We talk about loneliness on the podcast today as well as big changes that are happening at HIMH (no Matt??!), people who like the Trans-Siberian Orchestra (ew), and visit Gory Island as opposed to Goofball Island to brag about how we got our childhood scars. (Thanks for carrying me like a lamb in Jesus's arms, sixth-oldest sibling, Suzie!)
Helpful Link: Check out our blog post here about the changes at HIMH.
Question of the Week: What is your word for 2018?
Podcast Extra: We mentioned Questions for Self-Reflection our mentor, David Beelen, wrote. Here they are for you:
1. Is my calling sure?
2. Is my vision clear?
3. Is my passion hot?
4. Is my character submitted to Christ?
5. Is my pride subdued?
6. Are my fears at bay?
7. Are interior issues undermining my leadership?
8. Are my ears open to the Spirit's whisper?
9. Is my pace sustainable?
10. Are my gifts developing?
11. Is my heart for God increasing?
12. Is my capacity for loving deepening?
Also, read this blog post for more on the changes in the ministry.
Are you a leader? (Is everyone a leader?) Do you ever feel lonely as a leader? Why is that? What can we do about it? We talk about loneliness on the podcast today as well as big changes that are happening at HIMH (no Matt??!), people who like the Trans-Siberian Orchestra (ew), and visit Gory Island as opposed to Goofball Island to brag about how we got our childhood scars. (Thanks for carrying me like a lamb in Jesus's arms, sixth-oldest sibling, Suzie!)
Helpful Link: Check out our blog post here about the changes at HIMH.
Question of the Week: What is your word for 2018?
Podcast Extra: We mentioned Questions for Self-Reflection our mentor, David Beelen, wrote. Here they are for you:
1. Is my calling sure?
2. Is my vision clear?
3. Is my passion hot?
4. Is my character submitted to Christ?
5. Is my pride subdued?
6. Are my fears at bay?
7. Are interior issues undermining my leadership?
8. Are my ears open to the Spirit's whisper?
9. Is my pace sustainable?
10. Are my gifts developing?
11. Is my heart for God increasing?
12. Is my capacity for loving deepening?
Also, read this blog post for more on the changes in the ministry.
Episode 17: The James Progression
12.15.17
Let's talk temptation! Often, temptation is viewed as the line before falling into sin. But is there another way to look at temptation that is not so laden in shame and fear? Things we also discussed were Matt's silent retreat (where Laurie didn't respect his silent boundaries!), what do we hope for the new year, and best dates ever.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Podcast Extra:
“Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death” (James 1:14-15). In counseling, Matt uses what he calls, “The James Progression” based off of these verses to help clients self-diagnose what their heart needs in temptation. Core Needs ----- > Desires ----- > Temptation ----- > Sin ----- > Death
Question of the Week: At what point is it Christmas for you? What do you need to eat, hear, or do?
Let's talk temptation! Often, temptation is viewed as the line before falling into sin. But is there another way to look at temptation that is not so laden in shame and fear? Things we also discussed were Matt's silent retreat (where Laurie didn't respect his silent boundaries!), what do we hope for the new year, and best dates ever.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
GooglePlay Link
Podcast Extra:
“Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death” (James 1:14-15). In counseling, Matt uses what he calls, “The James Progression” based off of these verses to help clients self-diagnose what their heart needs in temptation. Core Needs ----- > Desires ----- > Temptation ----- > Sin ----- > Death
Question of the Week: At what point is it Christmas for you? What do you need to eat, hear, or do?
Episode 16: Concern and Hope for the Church
12.1.17
It's easy to look around the world and become discouraged. The polarities on any conversation can make a person either want to stand up and scream or dig their heads in the sand and hide. Is there any gift to choosing neither option? Is there another way to whether the storm of extremes? That's what we talk about with our friend and guest, Professor Matthew Tuininga, professor of moral theology at Calvin Seminary.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Google Play Link {I finally figured out how to add it here! Huzzah!}
Helpful Link: Check out Matthew Tuininga's page here!
Question of the Week: What is your hope for the coming year? (In your life, in the country, in your church?) Email us at podcast@himhministries.com to respond or comment here.
It's easy to look around the world and become discouraged. The polarities on any conversation can make a person either want to stand up and scream or dig their heads in the sand and hide. Is there any gift to choosing neither option? Is there another way to whether the storm of extremes? That's what we talk about with our friend and guest, Professor Matthew Tuininga, professor of moral theology at Calvin Seminary.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Google Play Link {I finally figured out how to add it here! Huzzah!}
Helpful Link: Check out Matthew Tuininga's page here!
Question of the Week: What is your hope for the coming year? (In your life, in the country, in your church?) Email us at podcast@himhministries.com to respond or comment here.
Episode 15: The New Health and Wealth Gospel
11.16.17
Sometimes, Millennials can look at the Christians before them and judge those who have believed a gospel of, "If I pursue God, I will have a lot of money and never get sick." However, Millennials can have their own version of a "health and wealth gospel" in the way we believe, "If I pursue God, I will be happy." But is this true? With SPECIAL GUEST Greg Coles (author of Single Gay Christian) we talk about this question as well as our favorite parts of the Caring Well Conference and Christmas traditions.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Helpful Link: An excerpt from Greg's blog. You can also check out our conference page.
Question of the Week: What is one way you want to look more like the Church this holiday season? (Invite someone to share the holidays with you? Donate? Serve?)
Sometimes, Millennials can look at the Christians before them and judge those who have believed a gospel of, "If I pursue God, I will have a lot of money and never get sick." However, Millennials can have their own version of a "health and wealth gospel" in the way we believe, "If I pursue God, I will be happy." But is this true? With SPECIAL GUEST Greg Coles (author of Single Gay Christian) we talk about this question as well as our favorite parts of the Caring Well Conference and Christmas traditions.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Helpful Link: An excerpt from Greg's blog. You can also check out our conference page.
Question of the Week: What is one way you want to look more like the Church this holiday season? (Invite someone to share the holidays with you? Donate? Serve?)
Episode 14: Idolatry of Sex
How can we as the Church look more like the Church? It starts with looking at what we have misperceived to be the ultimate connector for too long: sex. We need to confess our idolatry of sex, and lean into relationships in a new way. The crew also discussed worst dates and Christmas favorites. (Hallmark movies? Yay? Nay?)
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Helpful Link: This TED radio hour episode on Maslow's Human Needs was mentioned.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Helpful Link: This TED radio hour episode on Maslow's Human Needs was mentioned.
Episode 13: Marriage Matters
Episode 13: Marriage Matters
How can we cultivate intimacy in marriage when we're in a tough season? But wait! This track is not just for married folk. People who are in relationships of any nature will benefit from practical ways to lean into relationships when they are not easy.
Also discussed are things to bring on a desert island (hint: bag o' books) and swallowing the first five sentences you want to say when someone triggers you.
Helpful Link: We talk about sticking with marriage no matter what, but know if you are in an abusive relationship, we are not encouraging staying. Please read this article "Enough is Enough" with Gary Thomas for more: www.garythomas.com/enough-enough/
Question of the Week: What's the worst date you've been on?
How can we cultivate intimacy in marriage when we're in a tough season? But wait! This track is not just for married folk. People who are in relationships of any nature will benefit from practical ways to lean into relationships when they are not easy.
Also discussed are things to bring on a desert island (hint: bag o' books) and swallowing the first five sentences you want to say when someone triggers you.
Helpful Link: We talk about sticking with marriage no matter what, but know if you are in an abusive relationship, we are not encouraging staying. Please read this article "Enough is Enough" with Gary Thomas for more: www.garythomas.com/enough-enough/
Question of the Week: What's the worst date you've been on?
Episode 12: Heart-to-Heart Prayer with Carolyn
Episode 12: Heart-to-Heart Prayer with Carolyn
11.27.17
Laurie's "Spiritual Dumbledore" is in the house! Often when Laurie speaks she talks about her mentor/counselor, Carolyn Schroeder. Carolyn was instrumental in Laurie's decision to follow Christ no matter what. Matt, Laurie, Producer Steve, and Carolyn talk Heart to Heart Prayer, how to find your own spiritual Dumbledore (AKA...a good counselor or mentor), and discuss what they wish they hadn't quit from childhood.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Helpful Link: To learn more about where Carolyn was trained visit HealingCare.org.
Question of the Week: What's your current favorite form of prayer? Psalms? Short "Help me"? Lament?
11.27.17
Laurie's "Spiritual Dumbledore" is in the house! Often when Laurie speaks she talks about her mentor/counselor, Carolyn Schroeder. Carolyn was instrumental in Laurie's decision to follow Christ no matter what. Matt, Laurie, Producer Steve, and Carolyn talk Heart to Heart Prayer, how to find your own spiritual Dumbledore (AKA...a good counselor or mentor), and discuss what they wish they hadn't quit from childhood.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Helpful Link: To learn more about where Carolyn was trained visit HealingCare.org.
Question of the Week: What's your current favorite form of prayer? Psalms? Short "Help me"? Lament?
Episode 11: Forgiveness is the Worst Best, Too
Episode 11: Forgiveness is the Worst Best, Too
10.21.17
How do we forgive each other in a way that's less gritting our teeth when the offender is around, and more genuinely loving the offender? Matt and Laurie pick up the story when Laurie had a hard time forgiving Matt after he came forward with secret porn use. Also heard this week is a story about when Laurie wasn't served her favorite ice cream treat because it had too many calories. (Oh, California!)
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Helpful Links: A blog post from years ago titled, "Shards of Forgiveness" documents this season in Matt and Laurie's marriage, and the latest post, "Against You, and You Alone."
Question of the Week: What was your experience with prayer growing up?
10.21.17
How do we forgive each other in a way that's less gritting our teeth when the offender is around, and more genuinely loving the offender? Matt and Laurie pick up the story when Laurie had a hard time forgiving Matt after he came forward with secret porn use. Also heard this week is a story about when Laurie wasn't served her favorite ice cream treat because it had too many calories. (Oh, California!)
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Helpful Links: A blog post from years ago titled, "Shards of Forgiveness" documents this season in Matt and Laurie's marriage, and the latest post, "Against You, and You Alone."
Question of the Week: What was your experience with prayer growing up?
Episode 10: Lament Is the Worst Best
10.13.17
Episode 10, y'all! To celebrate the team did a Dad Joke Competition! (Watch it on YouTube to see their expressions here: youtu.be/AYmaGReukJM). Laurie, Matt, and Producer Steve also talk fasting fails, the angst about how no one can ever be happy or sad enough with you, "what is lament?" and Laurie's specific lament after Matt came forward with his pornography addiction.
Helpful Link: A post Laurie wrote, "What the world (my world) needs now are honest, little laments."
Question of the Week: Who is someone who has been difficult for you to forgive and why?
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 10, y'all! To celebrate the team did a Dad Joke Competition! (Watch it on YouTube to see their expressions here: youtu.be/AYmaGReukJM). Laurie, Matt, and Producer Steve also talk fasting fails, the angst about how no one can ever be happy or sad enough with you, "what is lament?" and Laurie's specific lament after Matt came forward with his pornography addiction.
Helpful Link: A post Laurie wrote, "What the world (my world) needs now are honest, little laments."
Question of the Week: Who is someone who has been difficult for you to forgive and why?
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 9: Pillar Practices
10.6.17
Pastor Marvin Williams of Trinity Church in East Lansing, MI joins Matt and Laurie on location (or off location?) at Our Daily Bread studios. (Thanks, ODB!) Things discussed are The Daily Examen, favorite and least favorite chores, true self/false self, and when the Holy Spirit convicts you to go back and apologize for something no one knows you did wrong. Thanks for your authenticity and courage as always, Pastor Marvin.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Helpful Link: Matt and Laurie talk alongside Pastor Marvin Williams at Trinity Church two years ago
Question of the Week: When have you fasted, and how did that go for you?
Pastor Marvin Williams of Trinity Church in East Lansing, MI joins Matt and Laurie on location (or off location?) at Our Daily Bread studios. (Thanks, ODB!) Things discussed are The Daily Examen, favorite and least favorite chores, true self/false self, and when the Holy Spirit convicts you to go back and apologize for something no one knows you did wrong. Thanks for your authenticity and courage as always, Pastor Marvin.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Helpful Link: Matt and Laurie talk alongside Pastor Marvin Williams at Trinity Church two years ago
Question of the Week: When have you fasted, and how did that go for you?
Episode 8: Pillar People
Episode 8: Pillar People
Pastor David Beelen, Matt and Laurie's mentor and the chairman of the board at HIMH, discusses people in his life who help to point him to Christ. Hearing his people opened up our eyes to see which roles have been unfulfilled in our lives. We need people in our lives to help point us to Jesus, and it's nice to hear the roles.
Pastor David Beelen, Matt and Laurie's mentor and the chairman of the board at HIMH, discusses people in his life who help to point him to Christ. Hearing his people opened up our eyes to see which roles have been unfulfilled in our lives. We need people in our lives to help point us to Jesus, and it's nice to hear the roles.
Episode 7: Holy Hate?
9.21.17
Welcome back! Laurie, Matt, and Producer Steve discuss whether or not we can hate people with a holy hate. They also chatted about what the crew might want to do if they weren't in the job they were in, Dwight K. Schrute, Mutual of Omaha (listen to the whole podcast for a secret track!), dungarees, and how we can love everyone from Neo-Nazis to each other in the room.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Helpful Link: Laurie's Blog, "Why I Can't Hate People Anymore"
Question of the Week: Who are your Pillar People? Who are people who are critically necessary to helping you develop a gospel-centered identity?
Welcome back! Laurie, Matt, and Producer Steve discuss whether or not we can hate people with a holy hate. They also chatted about what the crew might want to do if they weren't in the job they were in, Dwight K. Schrute, Mutual of Omaha (listen to the whole podcast for a secret track!), dungarees, and how we can love everyone from Neo-Nazis to each other in the room.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Helpful Link: Laurie's Blog, "Why I Can't Hate People Anymore"
Question of the Week: Who are your Pillar People? Who are people who are critically necessary to helping you develop a gospel-centered identity?
Episode 6: Tog-Otherness
9.15.17
After Laurie, Matt, and Steve recorded this podcast and the next one, the three of them stared at one another saying, "Wow." They have never had so much fun and felt such a Holy Spirit movement while talking on a microphone.
The focus of this episode is feeling "other" (ie. when you feel like you don't belong). The group will not simply throw logs on a fire of Church-angsting; they will turn the the conversation back around to how they "other" others. They also talk about clown music (Goofball Island got a soundbite!), Cincinnati-style chili (ie. dog food, according to Laurie), and how it sounds when two therapists golf together.
SoundCloud Link
After Laurie, Matt, and Steve recorded this podcast and the next one, the three of them stared at one another saying, "Wow." They have never had so much fun and felt such a Holy Spirit movement while talking on a microphone.
The focus of this episode is feeling "other" (ie. when you feel like you don't belong). The group will not simply throw logs on a fire of Church-angsting; they will turn the the conversation back around to how they "other" others. They also talk about clown music (Goofball Island got a soundbite!), Cincinnati-style chili (ie. dog food, according to Laurie), and how it sounds when two therapists golf together.
SoundCloud Link
Episode 5: Producer Steve's Story
9.7.17
When Producer Steve agreed to be a part of the HIMH podcast, he thought he would simply push buttons and do a little editing. Oh, no. Not when you're hanging out with Matt and Laurie. You got to talk deep. And they are grateful for it. In this episode, Steve shares his story of finding God as he wrestled through addiction, pain, and the hole in his heart. (Also: The team discusses personal idiosyncrasies including mispronouncing words, never touching metal, and Wicked Witch of the Westing their shoes.)
SoundCloud Link
When Producer Steve agreed to be a part of the HIMH podcast, he thought he would simply push buttons and do a little editing. Oh, no. Not when you're hanging out with Matt and Laurie. You got to talk deep. And they are grateful for it. In this episode, Steve shares his story of finding God as he wrestled through addiction, pain, and the hole in his heart. (Also: The team discusses personal idiosyncrasies including mispronouncing words, never touching metal, and Wicked Witch of the Westing their shoes.)
SoundCloud Link
Episode 4: That Hole in My Heart
Welcome back! Today, Matt, Laurie, and Producer Steve talk about embarrassing moments (warning: they include facial bodily fluids), and the model Matt uses almost every day while he works with clients. This is a do-not-miss podcast to understand the Hole in My Heart Model. Core Needs are mentioned and can be found here.
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
iTunes Link
SoundCloud Link
Episode 3: What's the Story, Laurie?
9.4.17
Today, we hear Laurie's story...thus far. (Aren't we all in process?) Matt, Laurie, and Producer Steve also discuss every day moments when we know we are loved, where we would like to apparate (or use Floo powder), and letting yourself be messy.
SoundCloud Link
Today, we hear Laurie's story...thus far. (Aren't we all in process?) Matt, Laurie, and Producer Steve also discuss every day moments when we know we are loved, where we would like to apparate (or use Floo powder), and letting yourself be messy.
SoundCloud Link
Episode 2: What's the Facts, Matt?
8.31.17
Yes, it's a dumb title. Good episode, though. In this podcast we talk Star Wars books, what does it mean to be "deep," escapism, and hear Matt's story...thus far.
SoundCloud Link
Yes, it's a dumb title. Good episode, though. In this podcast we talk Star Wars books, what does it mean to be "deep," escapism, and hear Matt's story...thus far.
SoundCloud Link
Episode 1: Getting to Know You
8.31.17
What's the HIMH Podcast all about? Through a series of random questions, Laurie, Matt, and Steve answer that question...in a roundabout way.
SoundCloud Link
What's the HIMH Podcast all about? Through a series of random questions, Laurie, Matt, and Steve answer that question...in a roundabout way.
SoundCloud Link