 The crew is back together!
Laurie, Matt, and Producer Steve dive into their first-ever Q & D (Question & Discussion) podcast. Together, they explore areas they have wanted to dive into more deeply including:
Highlights: "I was trying to solidify myself. Eventually, I got to the point where none of the things I was doing made me feel substantive ... Everything I was trying to put in this place of giving me purpose and giving me value it [didn't] work. 'I hate it. And I hate myself.'" --Matt Krieg "If we don't see each other as family, we will throw each other each other under the bus as soon as the heat gets turned up. I am not going to to go the wall for a fellow customer at Walmart. But I will go to the wall for somebody who is a part of my family (even if I don't agree with them about everything), because I love them and am committed to them." --Steve O'Dell "Are we grieving for our enemies? Or are we screaming at our enemies and clinging to our 'rights'? Jesus himself did not cling to his rights, but he considered them nothing and took the humble form of a servant." --Laurie Krieg Listen: iTunes Link SoundCloud Link GooglePlay Link Stitcher Link Do the Next Thing: That podcast episode Steve alluded to about Laurie's talk on how to lament? Find it here To hear more of Matt's story (as told on this podcast) listen here Question of the Week for Next Week: If you could hang with one biblical character for a day (not Jesus), one celebrity (another day), and an author (another day) who would you choose?
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 {Week 10 Core Need is the need for purpose: filled with a sense of profoundly mattering.}
Unless we are feeling severely depressed, every human intrinsically feels this need to matter, to have purpose, and to make a mark on the world. Sometimes, this purpose-need gets redirected from receiving our marching orders from Jesus to staring at marriage: It will complete me. Let's bust that whole thing apart with Breaking the Marriage Idol author, Kutter Callaway. We also explore your responses to what you grew up with as a paradigm for marriage (was singleness an option?), dig into the need to intentionally place women in positions of influence, and try to affirm our working theory that we are attracted to spouses and friends who are opposite to us when it comes to loving or loathing jigsaw puzzles. You're welcome. Highlights: "Let's get rid of ... romance altogether. What are we left with? We are left with these amazing things that we should all be committed to: The welfare of widows and orphans, [and a commitment] to the welfare beyond simply the spouse that I am marrying . . . This is the family that God has called us into: A radically extended and open-armed family--not this sort of closed dyad we get if we start with that myth of romantic love."--Kutter Callaway "I don't think anyone is walking around with a generic, abstract 'call' to marriage or singleness ... To walk into [life with a] Bachelor or Bachelorette vision where, 'I am just going to be with someone at the end of this. It doesn't really matter who the 25 people are--it's just survival of the fittest. You are the winner for my marriage calling!" That is the idol." --Kutter Callaway Listen: iTunes Link SoundCloud Link GooglePlay Link Stitcher Link Do the Next Thing: Read the book we explore today called Breaking the Marriage Idol by Kutter Callaway Those new books released this week? Find Deep Focus (Engaging Culture) here, and The Aesthetics of Atheism: Theology and Imagination in Contemporary Culture here. Follow Kutter on Twitter [Our outtakes with the high-pitch voiceover of Jesus comes from these ancient videos. They are worth a watch.] Question of the Week for Next Week: Are you a jigsaw puzzler or not? Is your spouse and/or your closest friends? Help us out in our theory development. ;)  {Week 9 Core Need is the need to be unique: delightfully special.}
We've explored the need to be included (belong), but how does that interplay with also our good need to be unique? We talk through this balance with foster and adoptive parents, Brett and Janelle Beimers. Their decision to adopt and foster models Christ's desire for radical inclusion (belonging), but they still need to see and cultivate each of their children's unique sense of self. How do they do that? What are the challenges to engaging both needs simultaneously--while also balancing the unique path of foster and adoptive life? We explore these questions with them while, of course, playing a unique game and talking about our trademark things (and yours, dear listeners!) that make us feel like ourselves. Highlights: "One of our family themes or mottos has been, 'When God is generous to you or blesses you, build a longer table--not a bigger wall.'" --Brett Beimers "You have the space, you see the need, and then you get the call... There are many many reasons to say ‘no’ [to a child], but there are also many many reasons to say 'yes.'" --Janelle Beimers Listen: iTunes Link SoundCloud Link GooglePlay Link Stitcher Link Do the Next Thing: Check out the Jason Johnson Blog Check out these websites:
Question of the Week for Next Week: What paradigm did you grow up with around your marital future? That you would get married and have babies, etc.? Or that singleness was an equally valuable option? (Bonus: Where did you hear that message/those messages?)  {Week 8 Core Need is the need to be safe: Unafraid; trusting everything is under control.}
Many of us struggle with anxiety and fear. (Most of us? All of us?) We could shame ourselves. ("Why am I still wrestling with this!? I should know I'm safe!") But instead of shaming ourselves, why don't we look below the fear to the good need driving that fear: the need to be safe? We unpack this good need to be safe with author and award-winning musician, Michael Card. Through the lens of safety, we explore God's character--His inexpressible hesed or lovingkindness and His invitation to rail on His chest in lament. Highlights: "This is the same God who spoke the universe into existence, who laid the foundations of the earth, [and] who created the stars and named each one of them. That same God invites me to exhaust myself against him when I'm confused or angry--even at him." --Michael Card "Hesed is when the person from whom I have a right to expect nothing gives me everything--not a second chance, more chances than you can possibly imagine." --Michael Card "Because God is a god of lovingkindness [hesed] I am safe to say... anything... Nowhere in Scripture does God say, 'How dare you talk to me like that.'" --Michael Card "Worship comes from the Old English worth-ship. To worship God is to celebrate his worth. You don't discover his worth at a picnic on a green lawn. You discover his worth when you're hungry and you need manna. You discover his worth in the wilderness." --Michael Card Listen: iTunes Link GooglePlay Link SoundCloud Link Stitcher Link Do the Next Thing: Check out Sacred Sorrow: Reaching Out to God in the Lost Language of Lament Check out Inexpressible: Hesed and the Mystery of God's Lovingkindness Check out Michael's website here Follow Michael on Facebook Follow Michael on Instagram Question of the Week for Next Week: What is one of your style things that makes you unique?—Like actual tangible object. (I know you all can quote your Enneagram, Meyer’s Briggs, Harry Potter house…) but is there a unique physical hat you wear, vest you grab, way you do your hair that makes you feel like you?  {Week 7 Core Need is the need to be seen: Noticed inside and out.}
This episode has two gripping stories: One is of a pastor named John Wilson who, at a young age, recognized his attractions to his same gender. Burying the secret led him to hospitalization due to the chronic stress. Slowly, carefully, he came out to trusted friends, and found some freedom as he daily surrendered himself to Christ. But then he moved far away, started working in a church, and the secret threatened to bury him in shame. He needed to come out again, but the person with whom he most needed to share was both his pastor and his boss. What would he say? Would he lose his job? Would this pastor/boss see him and love him as God does? Enter the second story of John's boss and lead pastor, Jeff Maness: Years before this conversation with John, God had begun to prepare Jeff's heart and his mind to receive John's story. Had God not set the stage, Jeff said he would have fired John after he came forward with his attractions toward men--even though John was surrendering his version of broken sexuality to the Lordship of Christ every day (as we are all called to do). How did God radically change Jeff's heart? How did John find the courage to share? How did the entire church practically engage this conversation as a result? Listen and find yourself at the foot of the cross with us in awe of the gospel's good news for everyone every day. P.S. Today's after-show bloopers? Matt accidentally got slipped into live Christian radio to thousands of people while we did a mic check--and during this mic check he pretended to be an NPR host. (Shake our red-faced heads.) Highlights: "That fear of coming out was powerful, but it was not as powerful as the pain of being hidden." --John Wilson "He didn't pull any punches... 'I'm gay' [he said.] Four years ago? I probably would have fired him on the spot just thinking that by him saying, 'I'm gay' he meant, 'I'm pursuing gay sex or a same sex romantic relationship.' But praise God instead of assuming--because God had done so much work in my heart--I learned to actually ask questions." --Jeff Maness "In the 15 months since I told Pastor Jeff and brought this piece of myself into the light, the darkness and the mold and the sin and the dankness that was around has gone away . . . I have experienced such an increased amount of holiness and sanctification in my life because of the ability to be seen. I have legitimate accountability now because I can be honest with people." --John Wilson "This has held a mirror up to our whole congregation--a mirror that needs to be held up to the big "C" Church. Have we lost people? Yes, we have lost a few. ... [But] we are going to stand on what we believe is the truth, we are going to offer what we believe is the radical grace of Jesus, and we are going to present to everyone this gospel message of all of us are called to die. And if that means we have some death in the process ourselves? Then that is the cost for us in this . . . It's time. It's time for the Church to speak into this boldly." --Jeff Maness Listen: iTunes Link GooglePlay Link SoundCloud Link Stitcher Link Do the Next Thing: To watch John's sermon where he came out and shared his story with his church look here To watch my sermon that followed his (following my story and the woman caught in adultery) look here To read Preston Sprinkle's book, People to Be Loved, mentioned by Pastor Jeff, look here To read Greg Cole's book mentioned by both Pastors Jeff and John, click here To connect with Pastor Jeff, find his site here To connect with Pastor John, find his information here Question of the Week for Next Week: What is something that you lost (perhaps in childhood) that you wish you could find?  {Week 6 Core Need is the need to be included: Wanted in this group, team, or partnership;
belonging} It seems as if the good need God put into us before the Fall to belong or be included goes hand-in-hand with authenticity. To belong--truly belong--we must be willing to get real. But how many of us feel we are scoring 100% at the relational authenticity level? Social media tells us we have hundreds or thousands of friends, but do we really belong? This is what our guest, Ethan Renoe, calls the "new lonely," and he wrote a book with the same title: The New Lonely: Intimacy in the Age of Isolation. Ethan and the guys (Laurie is out sick!) explore how we try to solve our loneliness problem through wanderlust, pornography, and Ethan's viral, overnight fame. (Do you remember the video of the guy running shirtless in the rain?) The guys also play a Goofball Island game where they have to insert the moral of the story into some classic youth group entertainment. Thanks for hanging out with us--it helps take off some of the edge of universal problem of loneliness. Highlights: "I realized I was in a really unhealthy pattern where I would show up to a place and I'd be this really mysterious, cool, traveler guy, and before anyone could get to know me, I would leave." --Ethan Renoe "Lonely people will often try to get rid of the loneliness by drowning it out. It's still going to be there when you're alone and it's quiet." --Ethan Renoe "I was trying to pour from an empty cup. I was filling that void with false digital relationships with women on the internet. There was moment where I realized I can be real with people. I can say when I have a bad day, when I'm feeling excluded, and people can respond to how I'm feeling . . . People can get to know the real me." --Ethan Renoe Listen: iTunes Link GooglePlay Link SoundCloud Link Stitcher Link Do the Next Thing: Check out Ethan's site and his books! Two of Ethan's posts he mentions are "Are Men Starving for Physical Touch?" and "The Epidemic of Male Loneliness." Find Ethan Renoe on the IG Question of the Week for Next Week: We talk often about the need for authenticity, but why don't we actually be more authentic with each other--especially in church?  {Week 5 Core Need is the need to be loved: Unconditionally accepted}
All you need is love. It's a nice song, but what about the actual experience of love? How can we feel it deeply before we see Jesus face-to-face? Author and speaker, Jennifer Kennedy Dean, guides us to a deeper experience of God's love that is not tethered to our circumstances (death of siblings, death of spouses, or a deep wrestling with the reality of prayer), but is richly intertwined to the alive and active Holy Spirit in us. We also play a game called, "Love Song or Worship Song?" and somehow learn a deep lesson based on how goofy we look while dolphin watching. Highlights: "You are never going to be able to get love in the way exactly that you want to, but you can give love. When you give love not for the purpose of making someone love you, but for the purpose of expressing the Jesus who lives in you, you are going to find that fulfilling." --Jennifer Kennedy Dean "Prayer is more than sandwiching words between, 'Dear God' and 'Amen.' There is a whole aspect of prayer that is going on directly from your heart to God's that might not even have words on it yet." --Jennifer Kennedy Dean Listen: iTunes Link GooglePlay Link SoundCloud Link Stitcher Link Do the Next Thing: Check out Jennifer's site and her bestselling books Jennifer quoted Andrew Murray: "Christ is our life: in heaven He ever lives to pray; His life in us is an ever-praying life, if we will but trust Him for it. Christ teaches us to pray not only by example, by instruction, by command, by promises, but by showing us HIMSELF, the ever-living Intercessor, as our Life. It is when we believe this, and go and abide in Him for our prayer-life too, that our fears of not being able to pray aright will vanish, and we shall joyfully and triumphantly trust our Lord to teach us to pray, to be Himself the life and the power of our prayer." Question of the Week for Next Week: Does going somewhere new and meeting new people excite you or drain you?  {Week 4 Core Need is the need for rest: Re-centered and reset in mind, body, spirit; includes having fun} Why is it that it seems whoever is the busiest is winning at life? If you are stressed, busy, but magically not anxious, you hold a higher status? We talk about this with Adam Mabry, whose wife laughed at him when he told her he was asked to write a book on rest. This pastor, teacher, and author of the book, The Art of Rest: Faith to Hit Pause in a World that Never Stops, was able to write the book after experiencing what it was like to live a life without rest, and watching it lead to total breakdown. We explore this story, practical ways to combat the "I'm better because I'm busier" game, and why being a pastor who exegetes Romans while on a unicorn might be the best way to do church. ;) Highlights: "I broke. I have this vivid memory of it being 1 or 2 in the morning, and I am painting baseboards, crying, cursing, angry, praying mess, and that was the beginning of, 'Hm, I don’t think I can achieve my way out of this.' I hit the dark pretty hard for six or nine months. The practice of rest was acknowledging that there is a God in heaven and a sovereign ruler of the universe, and His name is not my name.” --Adam Mabry "As an achiever, Jesus achieved par excellence . . . In three years he achieved redemption of the cosmos. In three years I barely got a Master's degree . . . [Jesus] got a lot done and did it more restfully than most of us." --Adam Mabry "If the Church of Jesus Christ is made up of anxiety-driven, restless people, it doesn’t say a lot about a gospel of grace that is very good." --Adam Mabry Links: iTunes Link GooglePlay Link SoundCloud Link Do the Next Thing: Check out Adam on his site here Also, Adam's most recent book can be found on Amazon here Want to know more about his church? Click here to check it out! We mention how watching TV doesn't really rest you. An article on that is here.  {Week 3 Core Need is the need to be affirmed: Overwhelmingly approved of.}
Do you ever wrestle with knowing God wants you to share the gifts He gave you with the world, but not knowing how much you should "market" yourself? Shouldn't the Holy Spirit just do that for us? We do wrestle with this, so we brought in bestselling author and speaker, Shannon Popkin, who co-wrote the book, Influence: Building a Platform to Elevates Jesus (Not Me). We explore this conversation in the context of the Core Need to be affirmed. How do we allow God to affirm us while navigating the murky waters of speaking the message He gave us? Put on your lifejackets because we are going to dive in. We also play another ridiculous game called "Spin This" (where Steve, Matt, and Shannon have to affirm everyone from Winnie the Pooh to Han Solo). Thanks for playing and hanging with us! Highlights: "There is such a connection between my message and me that it's really hard not to get 'my message' caught up in it being 'all about me.'" --Shannon Popkin "We are positioned there in this elevated state not so people can say, 'Look at me!' . . . We are positioned there to serve." --Shannon Popkin Links: iTunes Link GooglePlay Link SoundCloud Link Do the Next Thing: Read Shannon's book here One of our favorite articles of Shannon's is, "Five Control Girl Mom Tactics to Stop Using" Check out Shannon on her website! Follow her on social media: Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram! [Also, we mention early on about Matt's extreme makeover with Kelli ODell. That episode is here.] 
 Ty and Rachel Wyss
{Week 2 Core Need is the need to be desired: Specially chosen--no pretense necessary.} The idea of mixed-orientation marriages (where one spouse is straight and the other is not) can make people scratch their heads saying, "How does that work?" Today, through the lens of the Core Need to be desired, mixed-orientation couple, Ty and Rachel Wyss, get real about their marriage, their need to be desired, and leave us--married and single--with wise, God-given wisdom to walk well. This is another sacred story you don't want to miss. The group also talks how we can express needs without being "needy," Love Languages (with feedback from you all!), and, as always, how the gospel was and is good news. Thanks for joining us! Highlights: "The need to be desired manifested for me . . . in the desire to be somebody's best friend, somebody's everything, somebody's first choice." --Rachel Wyss "Wanting my wife or wanting my friends to desire me--it's so easy to attach the word 'needy' to it . . . When I realize I'm feeling shame for a need, I remember God has wired it into me. If He has wired it into me, then I get to start blessing that need." --Ty Wyss Links: iTunes Link GooglePlay Link SoundCloud Link Do the Next Thing: Check out Ty's ministry here! Find him on Facebook here! If you haven't read our favorite marriage book (that applies to mixed-orientation marriages, too!), we highly recommend Francis and Lisa Chan's book You and Me Forever. |
//About the Author
Laurie Krieg is broken, beloved, and gospel-addicted. Read more about her here.
//Recent PostsEpisode 87: How to Do Battle with Anxiety
8.16.19 Rebekah Lyons helps us unpack practical ways to put on our fear-fighting boxing gloves. BONUS: Safe Place Prayer with Matt 8.9.19 Therapist Matt leads us through a way we can pray that helps us envision the God who Sees us and prepares us to lament. Episode 86: Before We Jump to Activism 8.9.19 There is pain in our world and pain in our hearts. We often skip a step that is absolutely necessary before we DO something to right the wrong. BONUS: Jack Haveman's Story 8.7.19 When Laurie was being interviewed about caring for LGBT+ people, the station manager was prompted by God to share his personal and powerful story. Episode 85: Our Favorites and Yours 5.31.19 Listen back to some favorite clips and moments with us from Season Two. Guests: The Crew Episode 84: Leading a Church in a Time of Sexual Questioning 5.24.19 We don't think it's possible to talk about this too much right now. Let's get once again get practical for the church. Guest: Bruce B. Miller Episode 83: Sexuality and Shame 5.17.19 So many people have encountered sexual trauma. What is a pathway to engaging the storm of it? Guest: Dan Allender Episode 82: How to Lament 5.10.19 We are learning it is an important spiritual discipline, but how do we lament, exactly? Are there rules--or at least guidelines? Guest: Mark Vroegop 5 Tools Parents Can Use to Build Relationships with Their LGBT+ Kids 5.4.19 There are a few common practices parents can engage while walking alongside their kids. By: Laurie Krieg Episode 81: Living an Authentic Life 5.3.19 How and why do we need to get real--publicly? Guest: Ann Voskamp Bonus Episode: Book Announcement!!! 4.26.19 Matt and Laurie are writing a book together about their "impossible" marriage. Episode 80: Fill These Hearts 4.26.19 Everything we do--good, bad, neutral--points to our hunger for heaven. Let's unpack how. Guest: Christopher West Episode 79: Dear Evangelical Pastor 4.19.19 Conversion therapy didn't work for this retired Air Force fighter pilot and ministry leader. He wasn't about to pass it into others. Here is his word for the church. Guest: Mike Rosebush Episode 78: Q & D #1: Purpose, Church Angst, and Your Questions 4.12.19 It's our first Question & Discussion! We dive back into purpose, pain with the Church, and what we are looking forward to Guests: Matt, Laurie, and Producer Steve Episode 77: The Need for Purpose 4.5.19 We all got it: This need for worth. Why do we often find our purpose in following the marriage script? How can we break that idol? Guest: Kutter Callaway Episode 76: The Need to Be Unique 3.29.19 We both need to belong and yet be unique. How does a family balance that out with their adoptive family and foster kids? Guests: Brett and Janelle Beimers Bonus Episode: Facing the Unthinkable The "Why's" and "How To's" of Lament 2.15.19 Laurie Krieg breaks it down in a talk she gave in Madison, WI Episode 75: The Need to Be Safe 3.22.19 Many of us (all of us?) wrestle with anxiety/fear at some level. How can knowing God's character and the practice of lament help us work through our fear? Guest: Michael Card Episode 74: The Need to Be Seen 3.15.19 Two pastors: One who identifies as gay, and the other was his senior pastor and boss. How do they navigate the conversation? Guests: Jeff Maness and John Wilson Episode 73: The Need to Be Included 3.8.19 Traveling. Porn. Lots of relationships. Viral videos. Nothing seems to cut the loneliness problem. What can? Guest: Ethan Renoe Episode 72: The Need to Be Loved 3.1.19 All we need is love, but how can we experience it--in real life? Guest: Jennifer Kennedy Dean Episode 71: The Need for Rest 2.22.19 In 2019, being busier seems to equal being a better person. Is it possible to both get things done but do it with a restful spirit? Guest: Adam Mabry Episode 70: The Need to Be Affirmed 2.15.19 God gives us messages. How do we share them without elevating our own egos? Guest: Shannon Popkin Episode 69: The Need to Be Desired 2.8.19 A mixed-orientation marriage couple talks about the need to be desired and how it relates to their relationship. Guests: Ty and Rachel Wyss Episode 68: The Need for Nurture 2.1.19 If the need to be nurtured is to be cared for or held, how do we invite people to meet the need but not demand it? Guests: Anna Carter and Shannon Ochoa Episode 67: Holy Sexuality and the Gospel 1.25.19 Let's explore identity language, God's gender fluidity (?) and how to navigate friendships in the church. Guest: Christopher Yuan Episode 66: 7 Essential Failures of a Faithful Life 1.18.19 Failure doesn't feel good, but can it be good? Guest: Chad Bird Episode 65: Exploring Our Souls of Shame Part 2 1.11.19 How did shame begin and how can we combat it? Guest: Dr. Curt Thompson Episode 64: Exploring Our Souls of Shame Part 1 1.4.19 The vague feeling of "something is wrong with me" that you or a friend may carry? It has a name. Let's address it. Guest: Dr. Curt Thompson The Heart of Temptation 12.26.18 How do friendship, marriage, and temptation work together? Let's dig in. Episode 63.5: Merry Christmas/Happy New Year! 12.26.18 We look back, we look forward, and we shed a couple tears between the laughs. Because, of course we do. :) Episode 63: Jump Starting Spiritual Disciplines 12.21.18 Are spiritual disciplines only for the "hyper-spiritual"? How can we engage them without feeling like we have to climb a mountain? Guest: Sharon Garlough Brown Episode 62: Let's Admit It: We're All Addicts 12.14.18 Addiction affects everyone--but how can we understand it better and actually get some steps toward freedom? Guest: Dr. Gregory Jantz Episode 61: Keeping the Kids Safe 12.7.18 How can we talk about prevention of childhood sexual abuse in a not-shamey way? The authors of "God Made All of Me" help us out. Guests: Justin and Lindsey Holcomb Don't Miss the Miracle 12.5.18 We are in an age of self-care, but do we ever raise the "self-care" flag when we what we are really doing is giving up? Episode 60: Walking Well as Pastors, Parents, and Therapists 11.30.18 We are honing into three groups of people to equip them to walk well alongside LGBT+ people. Guest: Dr. Mark Yarhouse Episode 59.5: Happy T-Day 2k18 Style 11.19.18 We are thankful for ya--and for Alton Brown's turkeys (bless him). Guest: The regulars Episode 59: A Tiny [Living] Act of Obedience 11.16.18 What do six people and 350-square-feet of living space have to do with obedience and identity? This episode. Guest: Ashley Auerbach Episode 58: If Looks Could Heal 11.9.18 Clothing matters. Why? And how can we dress to express who God made us to be? Guest: Kelli O'Dell Episode 57: The "Whys" Behind Pornography Addiction 11.2.18 An honest look at our stories can give us clues to why we do what we do. Guest: Jay Stringer Episode 56: Seven Ways to Navigate a Sexually Shifting Culture 10.26.18 Sam Allberry gets practical and big picture in this extremely helpful cultural look. Guest: Sam Allberry Episode 55: Purity Movement or Sexual Integrity? 10.19.18 In the 90s, there was a large focus on "just saying 'no' to sex before marriage." How did that help and hurt? Guest: Jason Soucinek Episode 54: Family Dinner 10.12.18 We have a weekly dinner with people looking for family-like community. How does that work? Guest: Angela Bowles 18 Things to Do When Getting Real 10.9.18 How can you be vulnerable without getting your heart shredded? Episode 53: Saying "Yes" 10.5.18 It doesn't take a special Christian to say "yes" to Jesus--just an obedient one. Guests: Tom and Dana Mollhagen Three Primary Barriers Between LGBT+ People and the Church 9.28.18 What makes this conversation unlike others? Episode 52: Good Faith Takes Good Courage 9.28.18 Culture believes Christians are extreme and irrelevant. How can we be courageous and loving? Guest: Gabe Lyons Episode 51: Radically Normal 9.21.18 How do we get off of the treadmill of obsessive Christianity and the couch of complacent Christianity? Guest: Josh Kelley Episode 50: Gay Girl, Good God, and Good Marriage 9.14.18 Author, speaker, and poet Jackie Hill Perry cracks open the door of her story and the daily decision to surrender and follow Christ. Guest: Jackie Hill Perry Episode 49: The Awkward Middle 9.6.18 How can we navigate conversations with people with whom we disagree on major issues? Someone who understands both "sides" of one of these conversations helps us navigate this space. Guest: David Bennett Episode 48: How We Heal Part 3 8.31.18 What are some practical ways married people can lean into healing when in a tough spot? Laurie and Matt get real. Episode 47: Spiritual Friendships 8.24.18 What are spiritual friendships? And what is emotional chastity? Guest: Wesley Hill Episode 46: When Your Kid Comes Out 8.17.18 How did Laurie's dad respond to Laurie when she came out? Guest: Randy Hekman Episode 45: At the Intersection of Friendship and Loneliness 8.10.18 How can we make real friends? Guest: Bridget Eileen Episode 44: Jealous of Your Suffering 8.3.18 Let's talk about suffering well. Guest: Daniel Mattson Episode 43.5: H.A.G.S. (Have a great summer) 7.2.18 Let's consider the impact of season one on our own lives, and look toward the future! Episode 43: Getting Campy 6.29.18 How can we love our LGBT+ campers like Jesus? Guest: Susan Titus Episode 42: The Codependency Complication 6.22.18 What are signs of codependency or unhealthy relationships? Guest: Kelly Needham Episode 41: A Gender Conversation 6.14.18 Two stories: One of a child with gender dysphoria. One of a parent to a son with gender dysphoria. Guests: Kat LaPrairie and Kathi Bush Episode 40: The Thing About Temptation 6.8.18 Let's hear an amazing story of God's faithfulness both when we wandered in the past, and when we wander today. Guest: Rachel Gilson Episode 39: Envy, Pride, and Leadership 5.30.18 Envy. The struggle is real. Let's get real with it. Guest: Adam Barr Episode 38: Gender and Jesus 5.25.18 Are there only two genders? What does the Bible say about sex and gender? Guest: Preston Sprinkle Episode 37: The Gospel Comes with a House Key 5.18.18 Let's open the doors of our homes. No doily required. Guest: Rosaria Butterfield What Are We Saying "Yes" To? 5.7.18 Let's not be sin Nazis, rather oneness champions. Episode 36: 20-Somethings and Discipleship 5.4.18 How can we stay connected in our 20s? Guest: Drew Boa Let's Journey Well 5.1.18 We are offering some practical steps for you to lean into the LGBT+ conversation like Jesus. Want to join us? Episode 35: How We Heal Part 2 4.28.18 Authenticity and intimacy--how do they relate to healing? Episode 34: How We Heal 4.23.18 How has the Krieg marriage been healing this last year? It's a real-life update. Episode 33: Sexual Discipleship 4.13.18 We are all sexually discipled. The question is not "if we are" but 'by whom'? Let's talk about how we, the Church, can sexually disciple better. Episode 32: Guiding Families 4.8.18 How can parents and leaders of LGBT+ people love them like Jesus? Guest: Bill Henson Are We in Love with Our Baristas? 4.3.18 What's the heart of attraction toward someone? Episode 31: How to Talk with the Kids 3.30.18 We have to talk with our kids about sex and sexuality, but how do we do it biblically? Guest: Branson Parler Episode 30: Women Struggle with Lust, Too 3.23.18 They do. (We do.) Quite a bit. Why are we so under-resourced and under-discussed? Guest: Amy Riordan Episode 29: It Takes a Village 3.18.18 How can youth pastors walk alongside LGBT+ youth well? Guest: Ray Low Changing Theology, Not Orientation 3.16.18 One student's journey with her faith and sexuality Guest: Katie Melone Focus on Which Family? 3.7.18 How can we relate as a biblical family--single or married? Guest: Dr. Branson Parler Podcast Episode 27: What's Really Best for the Kids? 3.2.18 How can we disciple our kids without hurting their hearts? Podcast Episode 26: Marriage: What Is It Good For? 2.23.18 The team draws timely connections between marriage, singleness, LGBT+ people, and the Church. Guest: Branson Parler The Day I Became Wonder Woman 2.23.18 Can God heal painful memories? Yeah. Podcast Episode 25: Friends in Low Places 2.16.18 How can you be a helpful friend to someone in pain? How can you be a helpful person in pain to your friends? Let's talk about it. Guest: Tammy Perlmutter The Three Spiritual Identities 2.11.18 Performance? Grace? Or Love? Where do you live? Podcast Episode 24: Is There Hope for Us? 2.7.18 On our nine-year anniversary, we ask that question. Podcast Episode 23: Don't Waste Your Marriage 2.2.18 How can we not waste it? Get on mission. The Secret Rooms of Our Hearts 1.23.18 How can we connect our hearts in the midst of processing trauma? Podcast Episode 22: Learn to Fight Well 1.19.18 Hint: Fighting well is not about fighting well, but about looking like Jesus. Chronic Soul Pain 1.19.18 Do you suffer from chronic pain of the soul? We all do. Let's stop pretending we don't--in community. Podcast Episode 21: Pursue the Perfect Marriage 1.13.18 What does perfection in marriage look like? Podcast Episode 20: Marriage Is Not That Great 1.6.17 Is there a different set of rules for marriages like ours? What Do You Want? 12.31.17 Laurie was due for a spiritual and marital audit, and she found herself before a holy God. Podcast Episode 19: I'm Coming Out 12.22.17 What was it like to come out to a friend for the first time? Laurie and that friend talk about it. Podcast Episode 18: The Loneliness of Leadership 12.15.17 Is loneliness a "required course" for leadership as Elisabeth Elliot said? Let's talk about it. Times They are Changin' 12.15.17 Matt is moving on to other things--but he's still here. (We explain.) Podcast Episode 17: The James Progression 12.7.17 How about we talk about a shame-free version of avoiding temptation? Podcast Episode 16: Concern and Hope for the Church 12.1.17 What is a gift we can receive in the midst of all the polarity we see today? Guest: Dr. Matthew Tuininga Podcast Episode 15: The New Health and Wealth Gospel 11.16.17 Does God want us to be happy? Guest: Gregory Coles Podcast Episode 14: Idolatry of Sex 11.11.17 How can we, the Church, look more like the Church? We need to look at what we worship. Podcast Episode 13: Marriage Matters 11.3.17 How can we cultivate intimacy in the tough seasons? Podcast Episode 12: Heart to Heart Prayer with Carolyn 10.27.17 Hear the heart of Laurie's longtime counselor, mentor, and friend. Chicken Love {A Guest Post From My Sister} 10.26.17 Like chickens, we can peck at each other, but we often just peck at ourselves. Podcast Episode 11: Forgiveness Is the Worst Best, Too 10.21.17 How do we truly forgive someone...in real life? Podcast Episode 10: Lament Is the Worst Best 10.13.17 Why do we got to feel the sad stuff of life? Against you, and you alone 10.11.17 We need something more convicting than the pain of a person. Podcast Episode 9: Pillar Practices 10.6.17 Pastor Marvin Williams joins us to share what keeps him tethered to Christ. Podcast Episode 8: Pillar People 9.29.17 Pastor David Beelen shares the critical people and practices in his life that have and do shape him to look and sound more like Jesus. Podcast Episode 7: Holy Hate? 9.21.17 Is there a time for Holy Hatred? Why I can't hate people anymore 9.5.17 Looking into her enemies' hearts won't let Laurie hate them anymore. Our friend, Greg Coles, on suffering well 8.25.17 Greg is leading worship at Caring Well. Here are some stellar pages from his book. Why I am so excited 8.21.17 The Caring Well conference is coming. I'm stoked. Here's why. So long, Shame 8.11.17 Shame snuck up on Laurie again. Three guest posts for Lies Young Women Believe 7.7.17 To the Girl Wrestling with her Sexuality, Who is Safe to Tell?, What do to with Painful Rejection Orlando reflections 6.27.17 Matt was finally able to name why he loved being with LGBT+/SSA Christians. Why Christians can care about LGBT+ people 5.22.17 Because...Jesus. What the world (my world) needs now is little, honest laments 5.9.17 We got to get the pain out. How can we really love people? 3.29.17 It takes experiencing love. Pillar People 3.22.17 Who are the critical characters in our lives? What I've learned after eight years in my mixed-orientation marriage 2.6.17 Are we really so different from other marriages? Addiction, worry, and worship are interchangeable 1.18.17 We are made for addiction. 5 reasons I'm glad I said "see ya" to my smartphone 12.29.16 It was keeping Laurie from feeling. That's not okay for someone in "the biz" of healing. My regift to you 12.21.16 Angela, Laurie's sister, shares hard three memories re-written. Two days after... 11.20.16 Perhaps there is something (someONE) who can unify us all. Now is the time to live like Jesus 11.11.16 This is why I cried about the election, and this is what I believe we can do next. A response to Jen 10.31.16 Rarely, do we get involved in disagreements with fellow Christians about the LGBTQ+ conversation. But, we had to share. There has to be a better way 9.30.16 How should we treat same-sex attracted Christians in the church? How vulnerability heals 9.6.16 Sometimes, doing the thing we want to do the least is the thing that will heal us the most. Inviting Jesus into anxiety 8.26.16 Fear has felt out-of-control after having a baby; inviting Jesus into it (even if he doesn't fix it) helps A new identity 8.11.16 Matt writes about a friend's affairs before and after coming to Christ--and how his identity was affected. Guest Post: Can't I just trust him, already? 7.22.16 Another guest writer reflects honestly on how her lack of trust leads her to fantasy. Guest Post: A reflection on "Living with Longing" 7.14.16 A guest writer reflects on how she practically makes it through the temptation to run from God instead of to him. Living with longing 7.5.16 Sometimes, you just have to endure. A response to Orlando: Don't stop caring 6.16.16. Let's not redraw the lines in the sand. We men need friends, too 6.7.16 Matt talks through how he didn't need a romantic interaction. He needed friendship. No shadow of shame 5.23.16 Laurie again faces the shame she fights. (Also, a word about the "T" in LGBTQ) One year ago... 5.4.16 Laurie reflects on the journey of Matt's pornography addiction recovery over the last year. 10 ways to make your church safer 4.19.16 Hint: It starts with the individual. We apologize for the delay 4.13.16 We are going to take a blogging break as we move our home and office. The benefits of opening locked memories 3.31.16 There are certain memories that seem off limits. But is it worth it to keep them locked up forever? Know self, know God (and vice-versa) 3.15.16 We share an excerpt from The Gift of Being Yourself regarding the relationship between self-knowledge and God-knowledge. I want my daughter to grow up bored 3.10.16 Boredom is...boring. But the neurological and spiritual costs of constant entertainment can be devastating. Not an identity 3.1.16 Laurie guest writes for Cornerstone University about how her struggle is often viewed differently from Matt's. Guest Post: How God saved me and my marriage 2.23.16 A guest writer explains how God rescued her from a life of death. When I am tempted to unforgive 2. 9.16 Laurie describes what she does when she wants to take back her "right" to pay Matt back. The slow descent 1.26.16 Matt compares pornography addiction to hiking down the Grand Canyon. I'd rather not self-reflect, thank you 1.19.16 Matt sampled single fatherhood for a week, and wrestled with avoiding internal reflection in the midst of busyness and boredom. Word for the year (and how it might look) 1.5.16 Laurie doesn't do resolutions anymore. (Too much opportunity for shame.) This year her word is "abide." Don't let me wallow 12.29.15 Is a life with same-sex attractions a doomed life? Don't give up 12.15.15 For all the chronic pain sufferers... //Go to archives |