Do you ever wonder how people can go from living comfortably to saying "yes" to serving people courageously? We do. So we asked some of our friends how they did it. Tom Mollhagen transformed from being born in a brothel in India, to living the American dream, to going back and serving those he left behind. His wife, Dana, went from accepting Jesus on a swing set at five years old, to a successful nursing career, to working side-by-side with Thomas in India. Our friends are not special Christians; they are normal Christians who are obedient. Hear how they went from the American dream to saying "yes" no matter what (and of course play a ridiculous game alongside them) on this week's episode. Highlights: "I was born in a brothel. I was the untouchable, and the lowest caste. We had no hope. The only way they can live out of that caste system is by bringing the gospel and telling them they don't have to live that life. God paid for it... We don't have to earn it anymore." --Tom Mollhagen "The gospel is so needed--both for the predator and the victim. I am kind of repulsed by that because we only want to think about the victim. But both need huge redemption. As I've seen this, [the perpetrators] need to be redeemed from viewing anyone as an object....For the children who have been though things (so many people who have been trafficked): The Lord has to heal that hurt. There is so much in this world that needs to be made right... God starts to do that work in us now, but there is a waiting in that hope that is to come." --Dana Mollhagen Listen: iTunes Link GooglePlay Link SoundCloud Link Do The Next Thing: Check out their organization, Faith In Deeds Pray. Is God leading you to say "yes" to some area in your life where you have resisted obedience? (I know that "obedience" is a trigger word, but it is the safest track to walk.) Answer our Question of the Week: How do you get motivated to do difficult things? Listen to a certain song? Chew gum (oops, Laurie)? Say a verse?
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by Laurie Krieg
We feel it intrinsically: there is something different about this conversation than others. We believe that “all fall short, all are loved,” but when we start talking about anything related to the LGBT+ community, we feel the room electrify with tension. Why is that? Why can’t we engage this topic like others? 1. Culture The extremes on either side of this conversation think they have the answer for those who identify as a sexual or gender minority: Those on the extreme right (for lack of a better term) believe LGBT+ people must accept a “heterosexual/cisgender gospel.” It sounds something like this: “Come to Christ, and you will be straight and identify with your given gender easily.” I used to think that way. I used to think I needed to pray the gay away. Now I have learned that the Holy Spirit can empower me to surrender my broken sexuality every day—like He can empower every other person. Those on the extreme left (for lack of a better term) believe the only way to care for those who wrestle with their sexuality or gender is to say, “No more struggle! This is who you are! Love is love.” They don’t consider the definition of love includes “never giving up,” and “rejoicing when the truth wins out” (1 Cor. 13:6,7). It is not loving to hug someone to hell. “True compassion takes into account far more than what a person feels today; it takes into account what he or she will feel on judgment day,” Francis Chan wrote in his incredible new book, Letters to the Church. “What some do in the name of being open-minded and compassionate is actually done out of self-love and cowardice. We want to be accepted, so we listen and coddle but refuse to rebuke. If that is love, then the prophets, apostles, and Jesus were the most unloving people to ever walk the planet” (Chan, 137). 
91% of US adults believe the best way to find yourself is by looking within yourself, and 2 out of 5 Americans believe that, when it comes to what happens in the country today, "people of faith" and "religion" are a part of the problems in our country. How can we speak into this environment as believers? Author, speaker, and leader of leaders, Gabe Lyons, helps break down how Christians can be both courageous and faithful in a world that thinks we are extreme and irrelevant. We launch the courage conversation by talking about a time when someone quite innocently (but publicly) accused me of something, and Gabe represented Jesus well by advocating strongly for me. We also discuss the Gabe's Enneagram number, one of his most embarrassing moments, and we all were privileged to watch God weave the conversation together with the themes of courage and confession. This one is not one to miss. Highlights: "People are afraid to speak up... There is actually this belief in the 'boogey man'--this monster out there that's bigger in your mind than it really is. You start to realize that when you start to tell the truth, people are hungry for the truth, they are looking for the truth, nobody is saying the truth, and finally when somebody does in a kind, loving way (and with the right posture), people start to respond." --Gabe Lyons "The reality is most people are not looking for a debate. They are looking for someone who is loving and kind, but also willing to be confident in what they believe." --Gabe Lyons "Confession is the initial act that starts to open up a door of freedom--of shame being removed, and us living out in a courageous way what God wants to do. If we don't do that, we don't usually have courage. We don't feel comfortable telling anybody else what we believe is true, because we do feel judgmental. Because we know that in our own life we have things we have things we haven't confessed. It is critical to confess so we can then (with confidence) approach all the issues and topics and conversations that we need to be bold about in our society." --Gabe Lyons Listen: iTunes Link GooglePlay Link SoundCloud Link Do The Next Thing: Follow Gabe on the Instagram and Twitter Read Gabe Lyons and David Kinnaman's books! Here are some statistics from Good Faith:
Do you ever feel like you are a spiritual extremist? Some days you're running so hard and fast toward Jesus, and then you get tired. Or you mess up. Or someone says something to throw you off and you stop. And putz around a bit. And get discouraged. But then you get convicted and you start sprinting until you . . . don't. This back-forth, sprint-stop can be exhausting. Josh Kelley, author of Radically Normal, talks through some of this "obsessive Christianity" and "complacent Christianity." What is the difference? How can we halt the extremism cycle? It was a conversation that made us all think. And laugh. (We play a game called "Christian or Secular" and the team has to decide if the lyrics belong to a Christian or not Christian song. Enya seems to walk the line of both.) Highlights:
Listen: iTunes Link GooglePlay Link SoundCloud Link Do The Next Thing:
 Author, poet, and artist, Jackie Hill Perry, is in the house! As we do with every guest, we get at the intersection between the gospel and Jackie's real, right-now life. In addition to Jackie's story of surrender, we discuss how she and her husband stay connected through the storms of life, how to interact with people who want to make her into a deity or the devil, and if she were forced to only use Comic Sans or Papyrus fonts for the rest of her life--which would she choose? Join us. P.S. You can hear Jackie's four-month-old baby off and on throughout the podcast. It's the sweetest. Highlights: "Randomly, the strongest thought came to my head that said, 'My sin will be the death of me.' I was like, 'Oh, that was weird.' I started to think about my sin and it's consequences . . . I tried to be Christian before. I had said the sinner's prayer like 12 times before and it never worked. I knew I could not save myself. I knew, 'If you're calling me to be holy, that has to be something You do.' I told God, 'What you're calling me to do I know I can't do on my own, but I know enough about you to know that you'll help me.'" --Jackie Hill Perry "I think my challenge was would I ever love him [my husband, Preston] truly? Will I ever be as attracted to him as I was to the women I was with? Will I ever feel like I can be myself? Those were a lot of my fears." --Jackie Hill Perry "I really do believe that the gospel is foolish to those who are perishing. I really do believe that part of being a Christian is to be misunderstood. I cling a lot to the fact that when Jesus was teaching the truth they had the audacity to say he was possessed." --Jackie Hill Perry Listen: iTunes Link GooglePlay Link SoundCloud Link  Do The Next Thing: Read Jackie's new book Gay Girl, Good God. It's worth your time. Follow Jackie on Instagram. She's a good follow. Do you like what you hear on this podcast?? Partner with us! Any new gift of $20 or more per month will get you one of these "gospel addict" bracelets. And what is a gospel addict? Someone who knows their desperate, daily need for a Savior. 
If you're in need of hearing a story of God's unmistakable reality, you may want to listen here.
David Bennett, author of A War of Loves (Zondervan, Nov. 2018), shares his story and God's obvious breaking into his life. David was a once an atheist LGBT+ activist, and now pours out his life for all people because of God's love in him. The story includes a psychic telling him he was chosen by Jesus, asking his friends what love is, a prophetic moment from an uncle, and a life-transforming prayer in a bar. But after that transformation, David still has to walk what we call the awkward middle--navigating relationships on either "side" of this conversation. How does that work? Let's dig in. We also play a game called "Elevensies," where we talk about which type of snack is absolutely necessary during morning snacks, afternoon tea, and movie snacks. Highlights: "There was an inner, 'I don't want to be gay and I hate myself. I don't want to be same-sex attracted. I want to be straight like everyone else and belong." I reacted to that in an extreme pendulum swing towards radical self-discloser, "I am gay, if you don't accept it, then I don't accept you. Get out of my way because I'm getting my rights and you'll hear from me. I'm going to spend my life defending the gay community and destroying homophobia." --David Bennett "Jesus was saying to me, 'No, I identify with that suffering. I died on the cross and had all the stones thrown at me. You don't have to take those. I took them for you.'" --David Bennett "I had been really, really politically active . . . working for gay marriage and very passionate about that and that political faction. I used to tear down all the Christian union posters on campus and put gay marriage march posters on top. That's where I was. [But] in the middle of this there was still this aching void in my heart. Still this, 'I want something more.'" --David Bennett "[Madeline] said to me, 'David, have you experienced the love of God? You don't know the meaning of those desires until you experience the love of God.' She inflected to me that she really didn't like the narrow-mindedness of a lot of the Christian community and how horribly the LGBTQI community had been treated. That bowled me over. I had never had a Christian actually care--really actually care and embrace me as if they got what I'd been through. That was so powerful and disarming. Then she said . . . 'I really feel the presence of God right now. I have to pray for you. Do you mind if I pray for you? Is that okay? I don't usually pray for people but I just feel this compulsion. God's love is so intense for you." . . . It wasn't that [God] loved me as a fact, but she was experiencing how much more God loved me more than everything else. It was as if this love was unique for just me. It was the one thing that could get through the huge wall I had built over my heart." --David Bennett Listen: iTunes Link SoundCloud Link GooglePlay Link Do The Next Thing: Get his book! A War of Loves (with the forward by N.T. Wright!) Check out Larry Crabb's book on gender called Fully Alive. (We have a great conversation on this gender piece in the Question of the Week.) ​Follow David on Twitter  Gratitude. Joy. Hope.
God has done some healing work on us, and we are sharing a few reasons why and how. We get practical. Also we do a live, old-timey candy taste testing and it's disgusting. Welcome. Highlights: "The reason I didn't leave is the same reason you didn't leave: It's because of God." --Matt Krieg "It's been so hard to crack open my heart and let people in, but it has been so worth it." --Laurie Krieg Listen: iTunes Link GooglePlay Link SoundCloud Link Question of the Week: What do you believe is the core fear of men or women? How are our fears similar or different? Larry Crabb in Fully Alive : “Men and women fear the same thing: “We fear aloneness—life without connection, achievement without companionship, existence without friendship, forever wandering in lonely despair. “Loneliness is a taste of hell. Women experience the basic fear of aloneness as the terror of invisibility: unseen and unwanted. The call to invite others toward them arouses their fear. The question burns quietly within them: Do I have [something within me] that another would desire? “Men, created and called to move into relationship with others, feel the fear of aloneness differently. In their aloneness, men fear weightlessness. Do I have what it takes to move into community, into soul-to-soul connection? To risk that my moving will have no visible impact? To move toward other who might not value my movement?” (p. 107-108) Do the Next Thing: Our last two podcasts that share more of this story are found here and here. And a blog post here. And here. 
 Author Wesley Hill
Wesley Hill is known as a big brother to many people who have recently come out as celibate LGBT+ Christians. When this conversation was still whispered about in church basements, Wes stepped up to the podium and offered a beautiful picture of living with hope. We talk about this "big brother" status, as well as dive into the new-to-us concept of emotional chastity: giving up the right or demand for extremely intimate non-sexual relationships. We'd love to hear what you think of this concept of emotional chastity, and please let us know which goofy triathlon would you try. (You'll understand when you listen.) Thanks for being a part of the HIMH Podcast fam! Highlights: "Part of celibacy for me is not simply giving up a sexual relationship, but it's also a giving up that I have the right to an extremely intimate non-sexual relationship." --Wesley Hill "When you choose a life of sexual absence . . . you're not just choosing not to go to bed with someone, but you're also choosing a kind of emotional chastity. You're choosing a life that is surrendering not just physical intimacy, but a certain amount of emotional intimacy--or at least the idea that someone owes you that or that God owes you that." --Wesley Hill Listen: iTunes Link SoundCloud Link GooglePlay Link Do The Next Thing: Read the Spiritual Friendship book Read the Washed and Waiting book Read the Spiritual Friendships blog Follow all the Wesley Hill things Watch this "We Like Sports" video we mention (sorry about the swears) Check out this link Laurie mentions called "Wellness in the Age of Trump and Terror" 
When I was first making the connection between my brain and attractions toward women, I promised myself that I would never tell my parents. I was terrified. "Would they reject me? Does this mean I am not a Christian? Or I'm the worst-broken Christian?"
I am so thankful that rejection wasn't a part of what I encountered, but it was still rocky. Lots of tears shed on this one with my dad, Randy Hekman. Also lots of cheese-related laughs. We play a game called "To Cheese or Not to Cheese." Come, laugh, cry, and goof around with us. Highlights: "What is love? God gives you love for your kids. Tell me: which of your kids is perfect? Tell me: which of you, mom and dad, is perfect? We need grace. We need to extend grace." --Randy Hekman "What does love actually mean? Love means you accept their heart and your care for them." --Randy Hekman "Our biggest weapon as a parents is what? . . . Our prayers. And God loves our kids more than we do . . . so keep praying. Keep loving. That's what I say to moms and dads." --Randy Hekman Listen: iTunes Link SoundCloud Link GooglePlay Link 
Loneliness. We all experience it, but not many of us want to talk about it. Let's start the conversation here (and connect it to the necessity of friendship) with blogger and our new friend, Bridget Eileen!
Also, we got new sound effects. Also we play "Explain a Film Plot Badly." IT FUNNY. Also listen to the end. Producer Steve likes to hide nuggets. Highlights: "I really struggled with the question, 'How could impossibly be saved if I still have this struggle?' It was so important to me to realize God doesn't just save me in the past, but he is saving me in my present." --Bridget Eileen "The celibate life is really not livable without friendship." --Bridget Eileen "I've seen what a struggle [friendship] is for myself. I have been able to forge close friendships . . . but there haven't been many. There have been a few precious people here and there that I have found . . . But not everybody does find close friends because our culture doesn't have as much of an appreciation of friendship as something that is permanent and something that you prioritize." --Bridget Eileen Listen: iTunes Link SoundCloud Link GooglePlay Link Do The Next Thing: Check out Bridget Eileen's blog, Meditations of a Traveling Nun for more beautiful thoughts on friendship/family/celibacy. We say the word, "papyrus" when we referred to the movie Avatar. We are talking about this video. You just have to watch it. |
//About the Author
Laurie Krieg is broken, beloved, and gospel-addicted. Read more about her here.
//Recent PostsEpisode 61: Keeping the Kids Safe
12.7.18 How can we talk about prevention of childhood sexual abuse in a not-shamey way? The authors of "God Made All of Me" help us out. Guests: Justin and Lindsey Holcomb Don't Miss the Miracle 12.5.18 We are in an age of self-care, but do we ever raise the "self-care" flag when we what we are really doing is giving up? Episode 60: Walking Well as Pastors, Parents, and Therapists 11.30.18 We are honing into three groups of people to equip them to walk well alongside LGBT+ people. Guest: Dr. Mark Yarhouse Episode 59.5: Happy T-Day 2k18 Style 11.19.18 We are thankful for ya--and for Alton Brown's turkeys (bless him). Guest: The regulars Episode 59: A Tiny [Living] Act of Obedience 11.16.18 What do six people and 350-square-feet of living space have to do with obedience and identity? This episode. Guest: Ashley Auerbach Episode 58: If Looks Could Heal 11.9.18 Clothing matters. Why? And how can we dress to express who God made us to be? Guest: Kelli O'Dell Episode 57: The "Whys" Behind Pornography Addiction 11.2.18 An honest look at our stories can give us clues to why we do what we do. Episode 56: Seven Ways to Navigate a Sexually Shifting Culture 10.26.18 Sam Allberry gets practical and big picture in this extremely helpful cultural look. Episode 55: Purity Movement or Sexual Integrity? 10.19.18 In the 90s, there was a large focus on "just saying 'no' to sex before marriage." How did that help and hurt? Guest: Jason Soucinek Episode 54: Family Dinner 10.12.18 We have a weekly dinner with people looking for family-like community. How does that work? Guest: Angela Bowles 18 Things to Do When Getting Real 10.9.18 How can you be vulnerable without getting your heart shredded? Episode 53: Saying "Yes" 10.5.18 It doesn't take a special Christian to say "yes" to Jesus--just an obedient one. Guests: Tom and Dana Mollhagen Three Primary Barriers Between LGBT+ People and the Church 9.28.18 What makes this conversation unlike others? Episode 52: Good Faith Takes Good Courage 9.28.18 Culture believes Christians are extreme and irrelevant. How can we be courageous and loving? Guest: Gabe Lyons Episode 51: Radically Normal 9.21.18 How do we get off of the treadmill of obsessive Christianity and the couch of complacent Christianity? Guest: Josh Kelley Episode 50: Gay Girl, Good God, and Good Marriage 9.14.18 Author, speaker, and poet Jackie Hill Perry cracks open the door of her story and the daily decision to surrender and follow Christ. Guest: Jackie Hill Perry Episode 49: The Awkward Middle 9.6.18 How can we navigate conversations with people with whom we disagree on major issues? Someone who understands both "sides" of one of these conversations helps us navigate this space. Guest: David Bennett Episode 48: How We Heal Part 3 8.31.18 What are some practical ways married people can lean into healing when in a tough spot? Laurie and Matt get real. Episode 47: Spiritual Friendships 8.24.18 What are spiritual friendships? And what is emotional chastity? Guest: Wesley Hill Episode 46: When Your Kid Comes Out 8.17.18 How did Laurie's dad respond to Laurie when she came out? Guest: Randy Hekman Episode 45: At the Intersection of Friendship and Loneliness 8.10.18 How can we make real friends? Guest: Bridget Eileen Episode 44: Jealous of Your Suffering 8.3.18 Let's talk about suffering well. Guest: Daniel Mattson Episode 43.5: H.A.G.S. (Have a great summer) 7.2.18 Let's consider the impact of season one on our own lives, and look toward the future! Episode 43: Getting Campy 6.29.18 How can we love our LGBT+ campers like Jesus? Guest: Susan Titus Episode 42: The Codependency Complication 6.22.18 What are signs of codependency or unhealthy relationships? Guest: Kelly Needham Episode 41: A Gender Conversation 6.14.18 Two stories: One of a child with gender dysphoria. One of a parent to a son with gender dysphoria. Guests: Kat LaPrairie and Kathi Bush Episode 40: The Thing About Temptation 6.8.18 Let's hear an amazing story of God's faithfulness both when we wandered in the past, and when we wander today. Guest: Rachel Gilson Episode 39: Envy, Pride, and Leadership 5.30.18 Envy. The struggle is real. Let's get real with it. Guest: Adam Barr Episode 38: Gender and Jesus 5.25.18 Are there only two genders? What does the Bible say about sex and gender? Guest: Preston Sprinkle Episode 37: The Gospel Comes with a House Key 5.18.18 Let's open the doors of our homes. No doily required. Guest: Rosaria Butterfield What Are We Saying "Yes" To? 5.7.18 Let's not be sin Nazis, rather oneness champions. Episode 36: 20-Somethings and Discipleship 5.4.18 How can we stay connected in our 20s? Guest: Drew Boa Let's Journey Well 5.1.18 We are offering some practical steps for you to lean into the LGBT+ conversation like Jesus. Want to join us? Episode 35: How We Heal Part 2 4.28.18 Authenticity and intimacy--how do they relate to healing? Episode 34: How We Heal 4.23.18 How has the Krieg marriage been healing this last year? It's a real-life update. Episode 33: Sexual Discipleship 4.13.18 We are all sexually discipled. The question is not "if we are" but 'by whom'? Let's talk about how we, the Church, can sexually disciple better. Episode 32: Guiding Families 4.8.18 How can parents and leaders of LGBT+ people love them like Jesus? Guest: Bill Henson Are We in Love with Our Baristas? 4.3.18 What's the heart of attraction toward someone? Episode 31: How to Talk with the Kids 3.30.18 We have to talk with our kids about sex and sexuality, but how do we do it biblically? Guest: Branson Parler Episode 30: Women Struggle with Lust, Too 3.23.18 They do. (We do.) Quite a bit. Why are we so under-resourced and under-discussed? Guest: Amy Riordan Episode 29: It Takes a Village 3.18.18 How can youth pastors walk alongside LGBT+ youth well? Guest: Ray Low Changing Theology, Not Orientation 3.16.18 One student's journey with her faith and sexuality Guest: Katie Melone Focus on Which Family? 3.7.18 How can we relate as a biblical family--single or married? Guest: Dr. Branson Parler Podcast Episode 27: What's Really Best for the Kids? 3.2.18 How can we disciple our kids without hurting their hearts? Podcast Episode 26: Marriage: What Is It Good For? 2.23.18 The team draws timely connections between marriage, singleness, LGBT+ people, and the Church. Guest: Branson Parler The Day I Became Wonder Woman 2.23.18 Can God heal painful memories? Yeah. Podcast Episode 25: Friends in Low Places 2.16.18 How can you be a helpful friend to someone in pain? How can you be a helpful person in pain to your friends? Let's talk about it. Guest: Tammy Perlmutter The Three Spiritual Identities 2.11.18 Performance? Grace? Or Love? Where do you live? Podcast Episode 24: Is There Hope for Us? 2.7.18 On our nine-year anniversary, we ask that question. Podcast Episode 23: Don't Waste Your Marriage 2.2.18 How can we not waste it? Get on mission. The Secret Rooms of Our Hearts 1.23.18 How can we connect our hearts in the midst of processing trauma? Podcast Episode 22: Learn to Fight Well 1.19.18 Hint: Fighting well is not about fighting well, but about looking like Jesus. Chronic Soul Pain 1.19.18 Do you suffer from chronic pain of the soul? We all do. Let's stop pretending we don't--in community. Podcast Episode 21: Pursue the Perfect Marriage 1.13.18 What does perfection in marriage look like? Podcast Episode 20: Marriage Is Not That Great 1.6.17 Is there a different set of rules for marriages like ours? What Do You Want? 12.31.17 Laurie was due for a spiritual and marital audit, and she found herself before a holy God. Podcast Episode 19: I'm Coming Out 12.22.17 What was it like to come out to a friend for the first time? Laurie and that friend talk about it. Podcast Episode 18: The Loneliness of Leadership 12.15.17 Is loneliness a "required course" for leadership as Elisabeth Elliot said? Let's talk about it. Times They are Changin' 12.15.17 Matt is moving on to other things--but he's still here. (We explain.) Podcast Episode 17: The James Progression 12.7.17 How about we talk about a shame-free version of avoiding temptation? Podcast Episode 16: Concern and Hope for the Church 12.1.17 What is a gift we can receive in the midst of all the polarity we see today? Guest: Dr. Matthew Tuininga Podcast Episode 15: The New Health and Wealth Gospel 11.16.17 Does God want us to be happy? Guest: Gregory Coles Podcast Episode 14: Idolatry of Sex 11.11.17 How can we, the Church, look more like the Church? We need to look at what we worship. Podcast Episode 13: Marriage Matters 11.3.17 How can we cultivate intimacy in the tough seasons? Podcast Episode 12: Heart to Heart Prayer with Carolyn 10.27.17 Hear the heart of Laurie's longtime counselor, mentor, and friend. Chicken Love {A Guest Post From My Sister} 10.26.17 Like chickens, we can peck at each other, but we often just peck at ourselves. Podcast Episode 11: Forgiveness Is the Worst Best, Too 10.21.17 How do we truly forgive someone...in real life? Podcast Episode 10: Lament Is the Worst Best 10.13.17 Why do we got to feel the sad stuff of life? Against you, and you alone 10.11.17 We need something more convicting than the pain of a person. Podcast Episode 9: Pillar Practices 10.6.17 Pastor Marvin Williams joins us to share what keeps him tethered to Christ. Podcast Episode 8: Pillar People 9.29.17 Pastor David Beelen shares the critical people and practices in his life that have and do shape him to look and sound more like Jesus. Podcast Episode 7: Holy Hate? 9.21.17 Is there a time for Holy Hatred? Why I can't hate people anymore 9.5.17 Looking into her enemies' hearts won't let Laurie hate them anymore. Our friend, Greg Coles, on suffering well 8.25.17 Greg is leading worship at Caring Well. Here are some stellar pages from his book. Why I am so excited 8.21.17 The Caring Well conference is coming. I'm stoked. Here's why. So long, Shame 8.11.17 Shame snuck up on Laurie again. Three guest posts for Lies Young Women Believe 7.7.17 To the Girl Wrestling with her Sexuality, Who is Safe to Tell?, What do to with Painful Rejection Orlando reflections 6.27.17 Matt was finally able to name why he loved being with LGBT+/SSA Christians. Why Christians can care about LGBT+ people 5.22.17 Because...Jesus. What the world (my world) needs now is little, honest laments 5.9.17 We got to get the pain out. How can we really love people? 3.29.17 It takes experiencing love. Pillar People 3.22.17 Who are the critical characters in our lives? What I've learned after eight years in my mixed-orientation marriage 2.6.17 Are we really so different from other marriages? Addiction, worry, and worship are interchangeable 1.18.17 We are made for addiction. 5 reasons I'm glad I said "see ya" to my smartphone 12.29.16 It was keeping Laurie from feeling. That's not okay for someone in "the biz" of healing. My regift to you 12.21.16 Angela, Laurie's sister, shares hard three memories re-written. Two days after... 11.20.16 Perhaps there is something (someONE) who can unify us all. Now is the time to live like Jesus 11.11.16 This is why I cried about the election, and this is what I believe we can do next. A response to Jen 10.31.16 Rarely, do we get involved in disagreements with fellow Christians about the LGBTQ+ conversation. But, we had to share. There has to be a better way 9.30.16 How should we treat same-sex attracted Christians in the church? How vulnerability heals 9.6.16 Sometimes, doing the thing we want to do the least is the thing that will heal us the most. Inviting Jesus into anxiety 8.26.16 Fear has felt out-of-control after having a baby; inviting Jesus into it (even if he doesn't fix it) helps A new identity 8.11.16 Matt writes about a friend's affairs before and after coming to Christ--and how his identity was affected. Guest Post: Can't I just trust him, already? 7.22.16 Another guest writer reflects honestly on how her lack of trust leads her to fantasy. Guest Post: A reflection on "Living with Longing" 7.14.16 A guest writer reflects on how she practically makes it through the temptation to run from God instead of to him. Living with longing 7.5.16 Sometimes, you just have to endure. A response to Orlando: Don't stop caring 6.16.16. Let's not redraw the lines in the sand. We men need friends, too 6.7.16 Matt talks through how he didn't need a romantic interaction. He needed friendship. No shadow of shame 5.23.16 Laurie again faces the shame she fights. (Also, a word about the "T" in LGBTQ) One year ago... 5.4.16 Laurie reflects on the journey of Matt's pornography addiction recovery over the last year. 10 ways to make your church safer 4.19.16 Hint: It starts with the individual. We apologize for the delay 4.13.16 We are going to take a blogging break as we move our home and office. The benefits of opening locked memories 3.31.16 There are certain memories that seem off limits. But is it worth it to keep them locked up forever? Know self, know God (and vice-versa) 3.15.16 We share an excerpt from The Gift of Being Yourself regarding the relationship between self-knowledge and God-knowledge. I want my daughter to grow up bored 3.10.16 Boredom is...boring. But the neurological and spiritual costs of constant entertainment can be devastating. Not an identity 3.1.16 Laurie guest writes for Cornerstone University about how her struggle is often viewed differently from Matt's. Guest Post: How God saved me and my marriage 2.23.16 A guest writer explains how God rescued her from a life of death. When I am tempted to unforgive 2. 9.16 Laurie describes what she does when she wants to take back her "right" to pay Matt back. The slow descent 1.26.16 Matt compares pornography addiction to hiking down the Grand Canyon. I'd rather not self-reflect, thank you 1.19.16 Matt sampled single fatherhood for a week, and wrestled with avoiding internal reflection in the midst of busyness and boredom. Word for the year (and how it might look) 1.5.16 Laurie doesn't do resolutions anymore. (Too much opportunity for shame.) This year her word is "abide." Don't let me wallow 12.29.15 Is a life with same-sex attractions a doomed life? Don't give up 12.15.15 For all the chronic pain sufferers... //Go to archives |
