 Ty and Rachel Wyss
{Week 2 Core Need is the need to be desired: Specially chosen--no pretense necessary.} The idea of mixed-orientation marriages (where one spouse is straight and the other is not) can make people scratch their heads saying, "How does that work?" Today, through the lens of the Core Need to be desired, mixed-orientation couple, Ty and Rachel Wyss, get real about their marriage, their need to be desired, and leave us--married and single--with wise, God-given wisdom to walk well. This is another sacred story you don't want to miss. The group also talks how we can express needs without being "needy," Love Languages (with feedback from you all!), and, as always, how the gospel was and is good news. Thanks for joining us! Highlights: "The need to be desired manifested for me . . . in the desire to be somebody's best friend, somebody's everything, somebody's first choice." --Rachel Wyss "Wanting my wife or wanting my friends to desire me--it's so easy to attach the word 'needy' to it . . . When I realize I'm feeling shame for a need, I remember God has wired it into me. If He has wired it into me, then I get to start blessing that need." --Ty Wyss Links: iTunes Link GooglePlay Link SoundCloud Link Do the Next Thing: Check out Ty's ministry here! Find him on Facebook here! If you haven't read our favorite marriage book (that applies to mixed-orientation marriages, too!), we highly recommend Francis and Lisa Chan's book You and Me Forever.
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{Week 1 Core Need is the need to be nurtured: Cared for; held.}
It's time to dive deeply into Core Needs. What are they? They are good needs God put into us for things like belonging, purpose, affirmation, and to be seen and desired. The Fall threw a wrench in our once-natural ability to get them perfectly met by God and supported by people, however, and now we have natural inclinations to get these good needs met in ways that don't satisfy us and don't glorify God. (That natural inclination is known as our sin nature.) Our default is now idolatry. Eden Invitation co-founders, Anna Carter and Shannon Ochoa, launch our 10-week series on Core Needs by talking about the need for nurture. These ministry leaders guide us beautifully through wrestling with how we see nurture develop throughout our life, and how we can look to our friends to support this nurture need without slipping into co-dependence. We also talk tattoos, donuts, and "getting in the freaking car" for a worship sesh. Join us on a journey of the soul. Highlights: "One of my continual lessons is spiritual childhood: As we age, nurture looks differently. But I am always a child of my heavenly Father." --Anna Carter "At the end of the day it's an invitation: To love and be loved . . . There's not a sense of dependence or your friends completing you, but we must be comfortable in naming it: 'In order for me to lean into the Lord more easily, I want to invite you to walk with me.'" --Shannon Ochoa "By confessing to another person my own need, my own vulnerability, and my own woundedness, I am providing them with an opportunity to help me live the Christian life. I am providing them an opportunity to be a disciples--to imitate Jesus."--Anna Carter Links: iTunes Link GooglePlay Link SoundCloud Link Do the Next Thing: Take a look at Anna and Shannon's Eden Invitation website here and some of their favorite resources here! Check out our Journey Well training here! Don't know what Core Needs are? Read more here. 
Author, speaker, and professor, Dr. Christopher Yuan, brings his authentic self and expertise to the podcast microphone today.
In addition to hearing his story, we explore our favorite names of God (with you listeners), expand on the reasons why it is beneficial to the church that there are more conversations around sexuality and gender in the world, and explore the questions, "Is God gender fluid?" "Why don't you identify as gay?" and "How do you confront the lonely life?" It's another real life conversation on the HIMH Podcast. Highlights: "We talk about the world having safe spaces. I wonder: Should not the church be the safest place in the world? Are we safe? I think we have a lot of ways to grow and learn. But, we don't just want to be safe. We want to be safe and redemptive." --Christopher Yuan "I looked and I studied for friendship [in the Bible], and I didn't find much, unfortunately . . . David and Jonathan are never called friends once. But they are called brothers."--Christopher Yuan "We really need to begin living as the Church. As family. Yes, we have our blood relatives, but honestly? That is temporary. Marriage is temporary. The only true, eternal relationship that we will carry onto heaven are those bound by the blood of Christ." --Christopher Yuan Listen: iTunes Link SoundCloud Link GooglePlay Link Do the Next Thing: Get his latest book, Holy Sexuality and the Gospel Follow on Twitter (@christopheryuan) and Facebook Check out Dr. Christopher Yuan's website 
Failure makes you feel like . . . a failure. Should it? Should we celebrate some failures instead? Today we talk from Chad Bird, speaker, podcaster, and author of Upside-Down Spirituality: The 9 Essential Failures of a Faithful Life. We will cover seven of those nine "essential failures." Three of which are:
We also continue a bit of the shame talk (hearing from you listeners!), and play a Bible trivia game utilizing Matt Krieg's Bible trivia book from the 90s and the minds of all the nerds on the podcast. Chad is real and really helpful. You're welcome to join us at the table. Highlights: "God is a beatitude kind of God. He calls something 'blessed' that the world would often call 'cursed.'" --Chad Bird "Its no wonder if the kids wonder if God hates them, because a lot of what we experience in life make us feel like there is somebody above us, and we are on his hit list . . . The more we can focus God's love for us and everything that entails, that's really what the kids and the adults need to hear over and over." --Chad Bird Listen: iTunes Link GooglePlay Link SoundCloud Link Do the Next Thing: Follow Chad on Twitter and Facebook Read his book Upside-Down Spirituality: The 9 Essential Failures of a Christian Life Check out his great website. 
"I think I am afraid of being in *God's* presence. The thing is I am afraid to be in *my* presence. I am afraid to look at and have God see me as I see me . . . I am sure that when I look up again He will have left the rom. And shockingly, He does not." --Curt Thompson, M.D.
Let's dive right back into the shame conversation with Dr. Curt Thompson, and explore how shame began and how we can practically combat it. Highlights: "God--even in His pursuit--He is not going to shame us. He is not going to twist my arm. He is not going to shame me for not having my shame cleaned up well enough. He is going to relentlessly pursue me."--Curt Thompson "The healing of shame is not just a way for us to not longer feel bad about ourselves. It's a way to re-commission us to do the work of goodness and beauty that God has had for us since before the creation of the world."--Curt Thompson Listen: iTunes Link GooglePlay Link SoundCloud Link Do the Next Thing: Read Curt's book here. Check out his organization here. Comment below to let us know your biggest takeaway from this episode! 
Shame affects all of us--even if we don't know how to name it. It often drapes us in a vague feeling of being covered in a wet blanket. It speaks, "I am worth less. I must hide. There is something wrong with me."
How can we address it neurologically, spiritually, and practically? We brought in the big guns to answer all three shame categories today: Dr. Curt Thompson, MD, author of one of our favorite books, The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves. This and next week's conversation are not ones to miss. They impacted us all deeply. Highlights: "The gospel--if it is good news--does not begin with 'I am more sinful than I believe.' It begins, in fact, with 'I am more loved than I can imagine.' It is in that space of being loved incessantly, relentlessly, that we become aware just how sinful we are." --Dr. Curt Thompson, M.D. "It is not difficult for us to register [shame] in catastrophic events (bullying, sexual and physical abuse, or some kind of public humiliation). The thing is, as far as our real life is concerned, the vast majority of how these [shame] events actually occur is in the privacy of our own minds. It is the dozens of times when we say to ourselves 'I should have done this. I should have done that. I'm not good enough at this. I'm not good enough at that.' . . . It's these micro-moments that turn into a death of a thousand cuts." --Dr. Curt Thompson, M.D. Listen: iTunes Link GooglePlay Link SoundCloud Link Do the Next Thing: Read Curt's book here. Check out his organization here. Comment below to let us know your biggest takeaway from this episode! by Laurie Krieg We all have tempting situations. The temptation location and object may be different, but the heart of temptation is the same. For you, it may be the refrigerator late at night, a Bible study where you are the smartest one in the room, a place serving alcohol, that man or woman at work who seems to notice you, or a person you hang out with frequently whose favorite form of communication is gossip. We all have tempting situations. For some reason, one of mine (I have several, you probably do, too) is not talked about very much. I like fighting that stigma. "It could be hard," I said to my husband, Matt, about being in a situation with a woman toward whom I was attracted. I battled the desire to hide from Matt even though I know him so well. It is always difficult to be vulnerable. It is always a challenge, but it is always worth it. 
It's almost the new year, and many of us are thinking about doing something to jumpstart positive choices next year. But what about today? Sharon Garlough Brown, author of the Sensible Shoes series, walks (ha) us through the basics and depth of spiritual disciplines. We cover things like, "Are spiritual disciplines for the hyper-spiritual, Enneagram 4, flower children?" "Does lament have to be so depressing?" and "What can we do today--what one step can we take?" We also play a pretty hilarious game of "Finish that Christmas Carol." We'd love for you to join us. Highlights: "That's what lament is: It's crawling up into the lap of God, saying the hard things, and knowing that God holds us in those things." --Sharon Garlough Brown "A spiritual discipline is a grace discipline. I don't have the power to make myself more like Jesus, but I can practice things that will help me be more attentive . . . and responsive to His call." --Sharon Garlough Brown Listen: iTunes Link GooglePlay Link SoundCloud Link Do the Next Thing: Check out Sharon's site And the book we were discussing Also! This is the last week to get a sweet American Apparel Podcast T! Partner with us here with any monthly amount, and let us know your size on the PayPal memo. Then get one for free! 
Bonus Episode 63.5: Merry Christmas/Happy New year!
Peek between the cracks of the podcast to hear updates on our words for the year ("Do you feel like God gave you that word?"), look forward to our words for 2019, and hear us encourage each other unplanned.
As we reflect on this year of pain and growth, we may even shed a couple tears between our laughs. (Of course we do. :) ) We love you, guys. Thanks for being a major joyful part of our year. Listen: iTunes Link GooglePlay Link SoundCloud Link 
 Dr. Gregory Jantz
At HIMH we sometimes call ourselves "gospel addicts," but what is an addict? Author, psychologist, and addiction expert, Dr. Gregory Jantz, breaks down some of the attributes and questions we may have for ourselves or our friends on how to take steps away from the following addictions: Alcohol Food (eating too much or little) Work Sex/pornography Relationships TV/Netflix Social Media Because we can't help ourselves, we dive into the Die Hard debate (Christmas movie or nah?), and play a game called, "Top Toy or Misfit?" (Players have to guess which toy is a top seller this year, and which one was dubbed a danger.) Come play and learn with us. Highlights: "A relapse handled properly is all about recovery--because we are learning from it." --Dr. Gregory Jantz "[We must look in the] mirror and say, 'If I keep doing this, what is going to happen to me? What is going to happen to those I love?" --Dr. Gregory Jantz Listen: iTunes Link GooglePlay Link SoundCloud Link Do the Next Thing: Learn more about Dr. Gregory Jantz here Find his book here [Healing the Scars of Addiction] Take the CAGE questionnaire here Follow on twitter: @GregoryJantzPhd ∙ @ReadBakerBooks 
Fruit of knowing the Good News is believing that God loves kids.
He cares about their souls, he cares about their spirits, and he cares about their bodies. That is the focus of this episode: How can we protect our children, our nieces and nephews, and our friends' kids from childhood sexual abuse? How can we do it in a way that is not "shamey"? We explore it today with experts and authors of the important kids' book, God Made All of Me, Justin and Lindsey Holcomb. (We also play a silly "Is this a Hallmark Movie or a Shmallmark Movie" game, and it turns out they are experts there, too.) Highlights: "We need to start talking young because 1 out of 5 kids will be victims of childhood sexual abuse before their 18th birthday."--Justin Holcomb "[If you talk about body protection with kids] it builds a trust so that if something happens, if they are exposed to something . . . they are going know, 'Mom and Dad know about this. They talked to me about this. They are safe and understand this.'" --Lindsey Holcomb "We are all about swimming safety, bicycle safety, wearing your helmet, getting in your your car seat, and wearing your seat belt. Add this to that: This is body safety. This is prevention and awareness. Lump it into that category, and feel empowered in your role as their advocate." --Lindsey Holcomb Listen: iTunes Link GooglePlay Link SoundCloud Link Do the Next Thing: Get the book here Visit their website: www.justinholcomb.com Follow on Twitter: @justinholcomb and @lindseyholcomb Check them out on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/justinholcomb |
//About the Author
Laurie Krieg is broken, beloved, and gospel-addicted. Read more about her here.
//Recent PostsEpisode 79: Dear Evangelical Pastor
4.19.19 Conversion therapy didn't work for this retired Air Force fighter pilot and ministry leader. He wasn't about to pass it into others. Here is his word for the church. Guest: Mike Rosebush Episode 78: Q & D #1: Purpose, Church Angst, and Your Questions 4.12.19 It's our first Question & Discussion! We dive back into purpose, pain with the Church, and what we are looking forward to Guests: Matt, Laurie, and Producer Steve Episode 77: The Need for Purpose 4.5.19 We all got it: This need for worth. Why do we often find our purpose in following the marriage script? How can we break that idol? Guest: Kutter Callaway Episode 76: The Need to Be Unique 3.29.19 We both need to belong and yet be unique. How does a family balance that out with their adoptive family and foster kids? Guests: Brett and Janelle Beimers Bonus Episode: Facing the Unthinkable The "Why's" and "How To's" of Lament 2.15.19 Laurie Krieg breaks it down in a talk she gave in Madison, WI Episode 75: The Need to Be Safe 3.22.19 Many of us (all of us?) wrestle with anxiety/fear at some level. How can knowing God's character and the practice of lament help us work through our fear? Guest: Michael Card Episode 74: The Need to Be Seen 3.15.19 Two pastors: One who identifies as gay, and the other was his senior pastor and boss. How do they navigate the conversation? Guests: Jeff Maness and John Wilson Episode 73: The Need to Be Included 3.8.19 Traveling. Porn. Lots of relationships. Viral videos. Nothing seems to cut the loneliness problem. What can? Guest: Ethan Renoe Episode 72: The Need to Be Loved 3.1.19 All we need is love, but how can we experience it--in real life? Guest: Jennifer Kennedy Dean Episode 71: The Need for Rest 2.22.19 In 2019, being busier seems to equal being a better person. Is it possible to both get things done but do it with a restful spirit? Guest: Adam Mabry Episode 70: The Need to Be Affirmed 2.15.19 God gives us messages. How do we share them without elevating our own egos? Guest: Shannon Popkin Episode 69: The Need to Be Desired 2.8.19 A mixed-orientation marriage couple talks about the need to be desired and how it relates to their relationship. Guests: Ty and Rachel Wyss Episode 68: The Need for Nurture 2.1.19 If the need to be nurtured is to be cared for or held, how do we invite people to meet the need but not demand it? Guests: Anna Carter and Shannon Ochoa Episode 67: Holy Sexuality and the Gospel 1.25.19 Let's explore identity language, God's gender fluidity (?) and how to navigate friendships in the church. Guest: Christopher Yuan Episode 66: 7 Essential Failures of a Faithful Life 1.18.19 Failure doesn't feel good, but can it be good? Guest: Chad Bird Episode 65: Exploring Our Souls of Shame Part 2 1.11.19 How did shame begin and how can we combat it? Guest: Dr. Curt Thompson Episode 64: Exploring Our Souls of Shame Part 1 1.4.19 The vague feeling of "something is wrong with me" that you or a friend may carry? It has a name. Let's address it. Guest: Dr. Curt Thompson The Heart of Temptation 12.26.18 How do friendship, marriage, and temptation work together? Let's dig in. Episode 63.5: Merry Christmas/Happy New Year! 12.26.18 We look back, we look forward, and we shed a couple tears between the laughs. Because, of course we do. :) Episode 63: Jump Starting Spiritual Disciplines 12.21.18 Are spiritual disciplines only for the "hyper-spiritual"? How can we engage them without feeling like we have to climb a mountain? Guest: Sharon Garlough Brown Episode 62: Let's Admit It: We're All Addicts 12.14.18 Addiction affects everyone--but how can we understand it better and actually get some steps toward freedom? Guest: Dr. Gregory Jantz Episode 61: Keeping the Kids Safe 12.7.18 How can we talk about prevention of childhood sexual abuse in a not-shamey way? The authors of "God Made All of Me" help us out. Guests: Justin and Lindsey Holcomb Don't Miss the Miracle 12.5.18 We are in an age of self-care, but do we ever raise the "self-care" flag when we what we are really doing is giving up? Episode 60: Walking Well as Pastors, Parents, and Therapists 11.30.18 We are honing into three groups of people to equip them to walk well alongside LGBT+ people. Guest: Dr. Mark Yarhouse Episode 59.5: Happy T-Day 2k18 Style 11.19.18 We are thankful for ya--and for Alton Brown's turkeys (bless him). Guest: The regulars Episode 59: A Tiny [Living] Act of Obedience 11.16.18 What do six people and 350-square-feet of living space have to do with obedience and identity? This episode. Guest: Ashley Auerbach Episode 58: If Looks Could Heal 11.9.18 Clothing matters. Why? And how can we dress to express who God made us to be? Guest: Kelli O'Dell Episode 57: The "Whys" Behind Pornography Addiction 11.2.18 An honest look at our stories can give us clues to why we do what we do. Episode 56: Seven Ways to Navigate a Sexually Shifting Culture 10.26.18 Sam Allberry gets practical and big picture in this extremely helpful cultural look. Episode 55: Purity Movement or Sexual Integrity? 10.19.18 In the 90s, there was a large focus on "just saying 'no' to sex before marriage." How did that help and hurt? Guest: Jason Soucinek Episode 54: Family Dinner 10.12.18 We have a weekly dinner with people looking for family-like community. How does that work? Guest: Angela Bowles 18 Things to Do When Getting Real 10.9.18 How can you be vulnerable without getting your heart shredded? Episode 53: Saying "Yes" 10.5.18 It doesn't take a special Christian to say "yes" to Jesus--just an obedient one. Guests: Tom and Dana Mollhagen Three Primary Barriers Between LGBT+ People and the Church 9.28.18 What makes this conversation unlike others? Episode 52: Good Faith Takes Good Courage 9.28.18 Culture believes Christians are extreme and irrelevant. How can we be courageous and loving? Guest: Gabe Lyons Episode 51: Radically Normal 9.21.18 How do we get off of the treadmill of obsessive Christianity and the couch of complacent Christianity? Guest: Josh Kelley Episode 50: Gay Girl, Good God, and Good Marriage 9.14.18 Author, speaker, and poet Jackie Hill Perry cracks open the door of her story and the daily decision to surrender and follow Christ. Guest: Jackie Hill Perry Episode 49: The Awkward Middle 9.6.18 How can we navigate conversations with people with whom we disagree on major issues? Someone who understands both "sides" of one of these conversations helps us navigate this space. Guest: David Bennett Episode 48: How We Heal Part 3 8.31.18 What are some practical ways married people can lean into healing when in a tough spot? Laurie and Matt get real. Episode 47: Spiritual Friendships 8.24.18 What are spiritual friendships? And what is emotional chastity? Guest: Wesley Hill Episode 46: When Your Kid Comes Out 8.17.18 How did Laurie's dad respond to Laurie when she came out? Guest: Randy Hekman Episode 45: At the Intersection of Friendship and Loneliness 8.10.18 How can we make real friends? Guest: Bridget Eileen Episode 44: Jealous of Your Suffering 8.3.18 Let's talk about suffering well. Guest: Daniel Mattson Episode 43.5: H.A.G.S. (Have a great summer) 7.2.18 Let's consider the impact of season one on our own lives, and look toward the future! Episode 43: Getting Campy 6.29.18 How can we love our LGBT+ campers like Jesus? Guest: Susan Titus Episode 42: The Codependency Complication 6.22.18 What are signs of codependency or unhealthy relationships? Guest: Kelly Needham Episode 41: A Gender Conversation 6.14.18 Two stories: One of a child with gender dysphoria. One of a parent to a son with gender dysphoria. Guests: Kat LaPrairie and Kathi Bush Episode 40: The Thing About Temptation 6.8.18 Let's hear an amazing story of God's faithfulness both when we wandered in the past, and when we wander today. Guest: Rachel Gilson Episode 39: Envy, Pride, and Leadership 5.30.18 Envy. The struggle is real. Let's get real with it. Guest: Adam Barr Episode 38: Gender and Jesus 5.25.18 Are there only two genders? What does the Bible say about sex and gender? Guest: Preston Sprinkle Episode 37: The Gospel Comes with a House Key 5.18.18 Let's open the doors of our homes. No doily required. Guest: Rosaria Butterfield What Are We Saying "Yes" To? 5.7.18 Let's not be sin Nazis, rather oneness champions. Episode 36: 20-Somethings and Discipleship 5.4.18 How can we stay connected in our 20s? Guest: Drew Boa Let's Journey Well 5.1.18 We are offering some practical steps for you to lean into the LGBT+ conversation like Jesus. Want to join us? Episode 35: How We Heal Part 2 4.28.18 Authenticity and intimacy--how do they relate to healing? Episode 34: How We Heal 4.23.18 How has the Krieg marriage been healing this last year? It's a real-life update. Episode 33: Sexual Discipleship 4.13.18 We are all sexually discipled. The question is not "if we are" but 'by whom'? Let's talk about how we, the Church, can sexually disciple better. Episode 32: Guiding Families 4.8.18 How can parents and leaders of LGBT+ people love them like Jesus? Guest: Bill Henson Are We in Love with Our Baristas? 4.3.18 What's the heart of attraction toward someone? Episode 31: How to Talk with the Kids 3.30.18 We have to talk with our kids about sex and sexuality, but how do we do it biblically? Guest: Branson Parler Episode 30: Women Struggle with Lust, Too 3.23.18 They do. (We do.) Quite a bit. Why are we so under-resourced and under-discussed? Guest: Amy Riordan Episode 29: It Takes a Village 3.18.18 How can youth pastors walk alongside LGBT+ youth well? Guest: Ray Low Changing Theology, Not Orientation 3.16.18 One student's journey with her faith and sexuality Guest: Katie Melone Focus on Which Family? 3.7.18 How can we relate as a biblical family--single or married? Guest: Dr. Branson Parler Podcast Episode 27: What's Really Best for the Kids? 3.2.18 How can we disciple our kids without hurting their hearts? Podcast Episode 26: Marriage: What Is It Good For? 2.23.18 The team draws timely connections between marriage, singleness, LGBT+ people, and the Church. Guest: Branson Parler The Day I Became Wonder Woman 2.23.18 Can God heal painful memories? Yeah. Podcast Episode 25: Friends in Low Places 2.16.18 How can you be a helpful friend to someone in pain? How can you be a helpful person in pain to your friends? Let's talk about it. Guest: Tammy Perlmutter The Three Spiritual Identities 2.11.18 Performance? Grace? Or Love? Where do you live? Podcast Episode 24: Is There Hope for Us? 2.7.18 On our nine-year anniversary, we ask that question. Podcast Episode 23: Don't Waste Your Marriage 2.2.18 How can we not waste it? Get on mission. The Secret Rooms of Our Hearts 1.23.18 How can we connect our hearts in the midst of processing trauma? Podcast Episode 22: Learn to Fight Well 1.19.18 Hint: Fighting well is not about fighting well, but about looking like Jesus. Chronic Soul Pain 1.19.18 Do you suffer from chronic pain of the soul? We all do. Let's stop pretending we don't--in community. Podcast Episode 21: Pursue the Perfect Marriage 1.13.18 What does perfection in marriage look like? Podcast Episode 20: Marriage Is Not That Great 1.6.17 Is there a different set of rules for marriages like ours? What Do You Want? 12.31.17 Laurie was due for a spiritual and marital audit, and she found herself before a holy God. Podcast Episode 19: I'm Coming Out 12.22.17 What was it like to come out to a friend for the first time? Laurie and that friend talk about it. Podcast Episode 18: The Loneliness of Leadership 12.15.17 Is loneliness a "required course" for leadership as Elisabeth Elliot said? Let's talk about it. Times They are Changin' 12.15.17 Matt is moving on to other things--but he's still here. (We explain.) Podcast Episode 17: The James Progression 12.7.17 How about we talk about a shame-free version of avoiding temptation? Podcast Episode 16: Concern and Hope for the Church 12.1.17 What is a gift we can receive in the midst of all the polarity we see today? Guest: Dr. Matthew Tuininga Podcast Episode 15: The New Health and Wealth Gospel 11.16.17 Does God want us to be happy? Guest: Gregory Coles Podcast Episode 14: Idolatry of Sex 11.11.17 How can we, the Church, look more like the Church? We need to look at what we worship. Podcast Episode 13: Marriage Matters 11.3.17 How can we cultivate intimacy in the tough seasons? Podcast Episode 12: Heart to Heart Prayer with Carolyn 10.27.17 Hear the heart of Laurie's longtime counselor, mentor, and friend. Chicken Love {A Guest Post From My Sister} 10.26.17 Like chickens, we can peck at each other, but we often just peck at ourselves. Podcast Episode 11: Forgiveness Is the Worst Best, Too 10.21.17 How do we truly forgive someone...in real life? Podcast Episode 10: Lament Is the Worst Best 10.13.17 Why do we got to feel the sad stuff of life? Against you, and you alone 10.11.17 We need something more convicting than the pain of a person. Podcast Episode 9: Pillar Practices 10.6.17 Pastor Marvin Williams joins us to share what keeps him tethered to Christ. Podcast Episode 8: Pillar People 9.29.17 Pastor David Beelen shares the critical people and practices in his life that have and do shape him to look and sound more like Jesus. Podcast Episode 7: Holy Hate? 9.21.17 Is there a time for Holy Hatred? Why I can't hate people anymore 9.5.17 Looking into her enemies' hearts won't let Laurie hate them anymore. Our friend, Greg Coles, on suffering well 8.25.17 Greg is leading worship at Caring Well. Here are some stellar pages from his book. Why I am so excited 8.21.17 The Caring Well conference is coming. I'm stoked. Here's why. So long, Shame 8.11.17 Shame snuck up on Laurie again. Three guest posts for Lies Young Women Believe 7.7.17 To the Girl Wrestling with her Sexuality, Who is Safe to Tell?, What do to with Painful Rejection Orlando reflections 6.27.17 Matt was finally able to name why he loved being with LGBT+/SSA Christians. Why Christians can care about LGBT+ people 5.22.17 Because...Jesus. What the world (my world) needs now is little, honest laments 5.9.17 We got to get the pain out. How can we really love people? 3.29.17 It takes experiencing love. Pillar People 3.22.17 Who are the critical characters in our lives? What I've learned after eight years in my mixed-orientation marriage 2.6.17 Are we really so different from other marriages? Addiction, worry, and worship are interchangeable 1.18.17 We are made for addiction. 5 reasons I'm glad I said "see ya" to my smartphone 12.29.16 It was keeping Laurie from feeling. That's not okay for someone in "the biz" of healing. My regift to you 12.21.16 Angela, Laurie's sister, shares hard three memories re-written. Two days after... 11.20.16 Perhaps there is something (someONE) who can unify us all. Now is the time to live like Jesus 11.11.16 This is why I cried about the election, and this is what I believe we can do next. A response to Jen 10.31.16 Rarely, do we get involved in disagreements with fellow Christians about the LGBTQ+ conversation. But, we had to share. There has to be a better way 9.30.16 How should we treat same-sex attracted Christians in the church? How vulnerability heals 9.6.16 Sometimes, doing the thing we want to do the least is the thing that will heal us the most. Inviting Jesus into anxiety 8.26.16 Fear has felt out-of-control after having a baby; inviting Jesus into it (even if he doesn't fix it) helps A new identity 8.11.16 Matt writes about a friend's affairs before and after coming to Christ--and how his identity was affected. Guest Post: Can't I just trust him, already? 7.22.16 Another guest writer reflects honestly on how her lack of trust leads her to fantasy. Guest Post: A reflection on "Living with Longing" 7.14.16 A guest writer reflects on how she practically makes it through the temptation to run from God instead of to him. Living with longing 7.5.16 Sometimes, you just have to endure. A response to Orlando: Don't stop caring 6.16.16. Let's not redraw the lines in the sand. We men need friends, too 6.7.16 Matt talks through how he didn't need a romantic interaction. He needed friendship. No shadow of shame 5.23.16 Laurie again faces the shame she fights. (Also, a word about the "T" in LGBTQ) One year ago... 5.4.16 Laurie reflects on the journey of Matt's pornography addiction recovery over the last year. 10 ways to make your church safer 4.19.16 Hint: It starts with the individual. We apologize for the delay 4.13.16 We are going to take a blogging break as we move our home and office. The benefits of opening locked memories 3.31.16 There are certain memories that seem off limits. But is it worth it to keep them locked up forever? Know self, know God (and vice-versa) 3.15.16 We share an excerpt from The Gift of Being Yourself regarding the relationship between self-knowledge and God-knowledge. I want my daughter to grow up bored 3.10.16 Boredom is...boring. But the neurological and spiritual costs of constant entertainment can be devastating. Not an identity 3.1.16 Laurie guest writes for Cornerstone University about how her struggle is often viewed differently from Matt's. Guest Post: How God saved me and my marriage 2.23.16 A guest writer explains how God rescued her from a life of death. When I am tempted to unforgive 2. 9.16 Laurie describes what she does when she wants to take back her "right" to pay Matt back. The slow descent 1.26.16 Matt compares pornography addiction to hiking down the Grand Canyon. I'd rather not self-reflect, thank you 1.19.16 Matt sampled single fatherhood for a week, and wrestled with avoiding internal reflection in the midst of busyness and boredom. Word for the year (and how it might look) 1.5.16 Laurie doesn't do resolutions anymore. (Too much opportunity for shame.) This year her word is "abide." Don't let me wallow 12.29.15 Is a life with same-sex attractions a doomed life? Don't give up 12.15.15 For all the chronic pain sufferers... //Go to archives |
