 Youth leaders, this one is for you. We talk with our guest and New York City youth pastor, Ray Low, about his journey with sexuality and how his youth pastor walked with him well. We also talk a lot about what it is like to be a double minority as an Asian American and a sexual minority. This was an important conversation we were honored to have. Favorite quotes: "[At church] I saw a different kind of community that had a different kind of purpose. That's when the gospel started to make sense to me: when I started to see a community that extended beyond Sunday." "[My youth pastor] would treat people like people. He would treat people like he had this calling to form a faith identity in each and every one of us. That looked like giving us that space to wrestle." To Listen: iTunes Link SoundCloud Link GooglePlay Link Question of the Week: What people groups are you passionate about?
Goofball Island: What was your role in the elementary school playground? Podcast Extra: Here are the critical pieces Ray's youth pastor focused on to establish a faith identity in students: 1. Treated students as soon-to-be adults 2. Gave space to be messy and wrestle with big ideas 3. Bridged the gap between church world and home world 4. Gave leadership opportunities 5. Cast a vision to the parents of the necessity to establish a faith identity You Can Find Ray: FB: www.facebook.com/ray.w.low Twitter: www.twitter.com/ray_w_low Question of the Week for Next Week: When have you said, "I will never do ____!" And then God is like, "Um, yup. Exactly that."
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//About the Author
Laurie Krieg is broken, beloved, and gospel-addicted. Read more about her here.
//Recent PostsEpisode 105: Our First Study!
12.27.19 I--Laurie--wrote a thing I wish I had when I was wrestling the most with decisions about my sexuality. Here is a conversation about it and our gift to you. Guests: Matt and Laurie Episode 104.5: Merry Christmas from the Krieg Kids 12.20.19 We chat about ice cream, Christmas, loneliness, and marriage. Of course we did. Guests: Gwyn and Juliette Krieg The Link to Joy? 12.17.19 I don't like joy. But maybe I do? Maybe I have experienced it and can more? Here's a link to it... Risky Joy to the World 12.17.19 Joy can feel risky and maybe scary. Why? Episode 104: Practically Living Life in the Presence of God 12.13.19 In addition to being very practical, the gospel story on here took us by surprise. Guest: Kenneth Boa Episode 103: When to Walk Away 12.6.19 Is it sinful to walk away from toxic people or biblical? Guest: Gary Thomas Episode 102: Ministry Update and Q & A 11.26.19 Lots of changes coming! Let's dig deeper. Guests: Matt and Laurie Episode 101: Exchanging Our Dreams for God's Desires 11.22.19 How much of our dreams are selfish and how much of them are from God? Guest: Lauren Chandler Episode 100: How to Hear God 11.15.19 It gets misused. Does that mean we shouldn't try? How can we hear God responsibly? Guest: Jim Samra Episode 99: A Gender Conversation Part 2 11.8.19 Heather fully transitioned to male and then detransitioned. Why? How? This is not one to miss. Guest: Heather Skriba How Do Your Kids View God When They Look at Your Marriage? 11.4.19 Our kids' first image of God comes through how we relate. What do they see? Episode 98: Talking Sexuality with Our Kids We get questions about this all the time. "Where is 'the book' on this?" Guest: Dannah Gresh Episode 97: The Heart of Racial Reconciliation Get below skin deep and look heart-to-heart. Guest: Kinita Schripsema If We Want to Do Something...Hold Up a Mirror to Our Marriages 10.24.19 Culture is shifting quickly. What is a simple but challenging way we can respond today? Episode 96: Healthy Community (and Touch) as a Single Person How can single people engage community and friendship uniquely and in healthy ways? Guest: Meg Baatz Episode 95: How We Can See Everyone A speaker, activist, and author practically walks us through how we can engage those who are experiencing homelessness. Guest: Terence Lester Episode 94: Marriage and Friendship: How to Do Both Well Navigating healthy friendships within marriage situation is not easy. How can we do better? Guest: Kelly Needham Episode 93: Broken/Beloved Pastors Part 3 with Brad Klaver 9.27.19 He watched three men get excommunicated for their attractions. He vowed he would never share his own. Twenty-five years later, God allowed breakdown lead to breakthrough. Guest: Brad Klaver Episode 92: Broken/Beloved Pastors Part 2 with Johnny and Amanda McKenna 9.20.19 The middle of their story included affairs, pornography addiction, and alcoholism--while serving as a pastor. But that's not the beginning or the end of it. Guests: Johnny and Amanda McKenna Episode 91: Broken/Beloved Pastors Part 1 with Ben and Lauren Schulke 9.13.19 Ben wrestled with gender dysphoria as a pastor. What happened with he chose authenticity over his job? Guests: Ben and Lauren Schulke Episode 90: The Gospel and Food 9.6.19 Food Network star, Melissa d'Arabian sits us down at the table and opens her heart alongside the Word. Guest: Melissa d'Arabian Episode 89: Sex, Jesus, and the Conversations the Church Forgot 8.30.19 NYT bestselling author, Mo Isom, helps crack open the church doors further in the sexuality conversation. Guest: Mo Isom Episode 88: The Gift of Touch? 8.23.19 Some of us idolize it. Some of us shun it. How do we engage non-sexual, physical touch in a healthy way? Guest: Hayley Mullins Episode 87: How to Do Battle with Anxiety 8.16.19 Rebekah Lyons helps us unpack practical ways to put on our fear-fighting boxing gloves. Guest: Rebekah Lyons BONUS: Safe Place Prayer with Matt 8.9.19 Therapist Matt leads us through a way we can pray that helps us envision the God who Sees us and prepares us to lament. Episode 86: Before We Jump to Activism 8.9.19 There is pain in our world and pain in our hearts. We often skip a step that is absolutely necessary before we DO something to right the wrong. Guest: The Crew BONUS: Jack Haveman's Story 8.7.19 When Laurie was being interviewed about caring for LGBT+ people, the station manager was prompted by God to share his personal and powerful story. Episode 85: Our Favorites and Yours 5.31.19 Listen back to some favorite clips and moments with us from Season Two. Guests: The Crew Episode 84: Leading a Church in a Time of Sexual Questioning 5.24.19 We don't think it's possible to talk about this too much right now. Let's get once again get practical for the church. Guest: Bruce B. Miller Episode 83: Sexuality and Shame 5.17.19 So many people have encountered sexual trauma. What is a pathway to engaging the storm of it? Guest: Dan Allender Episode 82: How to Lament 5.10.19 We are learning it is an important spiritual discipline, but how do we lament, exactly? Are there rules--or at least guidelines? Guest: Mark Vroegop 5 Tools Parents Can Use to Build Relationships with Their LGBT+ Kids 5.4.19 There are a few common practices parents can engage while walking alongside their kids. By: Laurie Krieg Episode 81: Living an Authentic Life 5.3.19 How and why do we need to get real--publicly? Guest: Ann Voskamp Bonus Episode: Book Announcement!!! 4.26.19 Matt and Laurie are writing a book together about their "impossible" marriage. Episode 80: Fill These Hearts 4.26.19 Everything we do--good, bad, neutral--points to our hunger for heaven. Let's unpack how. Guest: Christopher West Episode 79: Dear Evangelical Pastor 4.19.19 Conversion therapy didn't work for this retired Air Force fighter pilot and ministry leader. He wasn't about to pass it into others. Here is his word for the church. Guest: Mike Rosebush Episode 78: Q & D #1: Purpose, Church Angst, and Your Questions 4.12.19 It's our first Question & Discussion! We dive back into purpose, pain with the Church, and what we are looking forward to Guests: Matt, Laurie, and Producer Steve Episode 77: The Need for Purpose 4.5.19 We all got it: This need for worth. Why do we often find our purpose in following the marriage script? How can we break that idol? Guest: Kutter Callaway Episode 76: The Need to Be Unique 3.29.19 We both need to belong and yet be unique. How does a family balance that out with their adoptive family and foster kids? Guests: Brett and Janelle Beimers Bonus Episode: Facing the Unthinkable The "Why's" and "How To's" of Lament 2.15.19 Laurie Krieg breaks it down in a talk she gave in Madison, WI Episode 75: The Need to Be Safe 3.22.19 Many of us (all of us?) wrestle with anxiety/fear at some level. How can knowing God's character and the practice of lament help us work through our fear? Guest: Michael Card Episode 74: The Need to Be Seen 3.15.19 Two pastors: One who identifies as gay, and the other was his senior pastor and boss. How do they navigate the conversation? Guests: Jeff Maness and John Wilson Episode 73: The Need to Be Included 3.8.19 Traveling. Porn. Lots of relationships. Viral videos. Nothing seems to cut the loneliness problem. What can? Guest: Ethan Renoe Episode 72: The Need to Be Loved 3.1.19 All we need is love, but how can we experience it--in real life? Guest: Jennifer Kennedy Dean Episode 71: The Need for Rest 2.22.19 In 2019, being busier seems to equal being a better person. Is it possible to both get things done but do it with a restful spirit? Guest: Adam Mabry Episode 70: The Need to Be Affirmed 2.15.19 God gives us messages. How do we share them without elevating our own egos? Guest: Shannon Popkin Episode 69: The Need to Be Desired 2.8.19 A mixed-orientation marriage couple talks about the need to be desired and how it relates to their relationship. Guests: Ty and Rachel Wyss Episode 68: The Need for Nurture 2.1.19 If the need to be nurtured is to be cared for or held, how do we invite people to meet the need but not demand it? Guests: Anna Carter and Shannon Ochoa Episode 67: Holy Sexuality and the Gospel 1.25.19 Let's explore identity language, God's gender fluidity (?) and how to navigate friendships in the church. Guest: Christopher Yuan Episode 66: 7 Essential Failures of a Faithful Life 1.18.19 Failure doesn't feel good, but can it be good? Guest: Chad Bird Episode 65: Exploring Our Souls of Shame Part 2 1.11.19 How did shame begin and how can we combat it? Guest: Dr. Curt Thompson Episode 64: Exploring Our Souls of Shame Part 1 1.4.19 The vague feeling of "something is wrong with me" that you or a friend may carry? It has a name. Let's address it. Guest: Dr. Curt Thompson The Heart of Temptation 12.26.18 How do friendship, marriage, and temptation work together? Let's dig in. Episode 63.5: Merry Christmas/Happy New Year! 12.26.18 We look back, we look forward, and we shed a couple tears between the laughs. Because, of course we do. :) Episode 63: Jump Starting Spiritual Disciplines 12.21.18 Are spiritual disciplines only for the "hyper-spiritual"? How can we engage them without feeling like we have to climb a mountain? Guest: Sharon Garlough Brown Episode 62: Let's Admit It: We're All Addicts 12.14.18 Addiction affects everyone--but how can we understand it better and actually get some steps toward freedom? Guest: Dr. Gregory Jantz Episode 61: Keeping the Kids Safe 12.7.18 How can we talk about prevention of childhood sexual abuse in a not-shamey way? The authors of "God Made All of Me" help us out. Guests: Justin and Lindsey Holcomb Don't Miss the Miracle 12.5.18 We are in an age of self-care, but do we ever raise the "self-care" flag when we what we are really doing is giving up? Episode 60: Walking Well as Pastors, Parents, and Therapists 11.30.18 We are honing into three groups of people to equip them to walk well alongside LGBT+ people. Guest: Dr. Mark Yarhouse Episode 59.5: Happy T-Day 2k18 Style 11.19.18 We are thankful for ya--and for Alton Brown's turkeys (bless him). Guest: The regulars Episode 59: A Tiny [Living] Act of Obedience 11.16.18 What do six people and 350-square-feet of living space have to do with obedience and identity? This episode. Guest: Ashley Auerbach Episode 58: If Looks Could Heal 11.9.18 Clothing matters. Why? And how can we dress to express who God made us to be? Guest: Kelli O'Dell Episode 57: The "Whys" Behind Pornography Addiction 11.2.18 An honest look at our stories can give us clues to why we do what we do. Guest: Jay Stringer Episode 56: Seven Ways to Navigate a Sexually Shifting Culture 10.26.18 Sam Allberry gets practical and big picture in this extremely helpful cultural look. Guest: Sam Allberry Episode 55: Purity Movement or Sexual Integrity? 10.19.18 In the 90s, there was a large focus on "just saying 'no' to sex before marriage." How did that help and hurt? Guest: Jason Soucinek Episode 54: Family Dinner 10.12.18 We have a weekly dinner with people looking for family-like community. How does that work? Guest: Angela Bowles 18 Things to Do When Getting Real 10.9.18 How can you be vulnerable without getting your heart shredded? Episode 53: Saying "Yes" 10.5.18 It doesn't take a special Christian to say "yes" to Jesus--just an obedient one. Guests: Tom and Dana Mollhagen Three Primary Barriers Between LGBT+ People and the Church 9.28.18 What makes this conversation unlike others? Episode 52: Good Faith Takes Good Courage 9.28.18 Culture believes Christians are extreme and irrelevant. How can we be courageous and loving? Guest: Gabe Lyons Episode 51: Radically Normal 9.21.18 How do we get off of the treadmill of obsessive Christianity and the couch of complacent Christianity? Guest: Josh Kelley Episode 50: Gay Girl, Good God, and Good Marriage 9.14.18 Author, speaker, and poet Jackie Hill Perry cracks open the door of her story and the daily decision to surrender and follow Christ. Guest: Jackie Hill Perry Episode 49: The Awkward Middle 9.6.18 How can we navigate conversations with people with whom we disagree on major issues? Someone who understands both "sides" of one of these conversations helps us navigate this space. Guest: David Bennett Episode 48: How We Heal Part 3 8.31.18 What are some practical ways married people can lean into healing when in a tough spot? Laurie and Matt get real. Episode 47: Spiritual Friendships 8.24.18 What are spiritual friendships? And what is emotional chastity? Guest: Wesley Hill Episode 46: When Your Kid Comes Out 8.17.18 How did Laurie's dad respond to Laurie when she came out? Guest: Randy Hekman Episode 45: At the Intersection of Friendship and Loneliness 8.10.18 How can we make real friends? Guest: Bridget Eileen Episode 44: Jealous of Your Suffering 8.3.18 Let's talk about suffering well. Guest: Daniel Mattson Episode 43.5: H.A.G.S. (Have a great summer) 7.2.18 Let's consider the impact of season one on our own lives, and look toward the future! Episode 43: Getting Campy 6.29.18 How can we love our LGBT+ campers like Jesus? Guest: Susan Titus Episode 42: The Codependency Complication 6.22.18 What are signs of codependency or unhealthy relationships? Guest: Kelly Needham Episode 41: A Gender Conversation 6.14.18 Two stories: One of a child with gender dysphoria. One of a parent to a son with gender dysphoria. Guests: Kat LaPrairie and Kathi Bush Episode 40: The Thing About Temptation 6.8.18 Let's hear an amazing story of God's faithfulness both when we wandered in the past, and when we wander today. Guest: Rachel Gilson Episode 39: Envy, Pride, and Leadership 5.30.18 Envy. The struggle is real. Let's get real with it. Guest: Adam Barr Episode 38: Gender and Jesus 5.25.18 Are there only two genders? What does the Bible say about sex and gender? Guest: Preston Sprinkle Episode 37: The Gospel Comes with a House Key 5.18.18 Let's open the doors of our homes. No doily required. Guest: Rosaria Butterfield What Are We Saying "Yes" To? 5.7.18 Let's not be sin Nazis, rather oneness champions. Episode 36: 20-Somethings and Discipleship 5.4.18 How can we stay connected in our 20s? Guest: Drew Boa Let's Journey Well 5.1.18 We are offering some practical steps for you to lean into the LGBT+ conversation like Jesus. Want to join us? Episode 35: How We Heal Part 2 4.28.18 Authenticity and intimacy--how do they relate to healing? Episode 34: How We Heal 4.23.18 How has the Krieg marriage been healing this last year? It's a real-life update. Episode 33: Sexual Discipleship 4.13.18 We are all sexually discipled. The question is not "if we are" but 'by whom'? Let's talk about how we, the Church, can sexually disciple better. Episode 32: Guiding Families 4.8.18 How can parents and leaders of LGBT+ people love them like Jesus? Guest: Bill Henson Are We in Love with Our Baristas? 4.3.18 What's the heart of attraction toward someone? Episode 31: How to Talk with the Kids 3.30.18 We have to talk with our kids about sex and sexuality, but how do we do it biblically? Guest: Branson Parler Episode 30: Women Struggle with Lust, Too 3.23.18 They do. (We do.) Quite a bit. Why are we so under-resourced and under-discussed? Guest: Amy Riordan Episode 29: It Takes a Village 3.18.18 How can youth pastors walk alongside LGBT+ youth well? Guest: Ray Low Changing Theology, Not Orientation 3.16.18 One student's journey with her faith and sexuality Guest: Katie Melone Focus on Which Family? 3.7.18 How can we relate as a biblical family--single or married? Guest: Dr. Branson Parler Podcast Episode 27: What's Really Best for the Kids? 3.2.18 How can we disciple our kids without hurting their hearts? Podcast Episode 26: Marriage: What Is It Good For? 2.23.18 The team draws timely connections between marriage, singleness, LGBT+ people, and the Church. Guest: Branson Parler The Day I Became Wonder Woman 2.23.18 Can God heal painful memories? Yeah. Podcast Episode 25: Friends in Low Places 2.16.18 How can you be a helpful friend to someone in pain? How can you be a helpful person in pain to your friends? Let's talk about it. Guest: Tammy Perlmutter The Three Spiritual Identities 2.11.18 Performance? Grace? Or Love? Where do you live? Podcast Episode 24: Is There Hope for Us? 2.7.18 On our nine-year anniversary, we ask that question. Podcast Episode 23: Don't Waste Your Marriage 2.2.18 How can we not waste it? Get on mission. The Secret Rooms of Our Hearts 1.23.18 How can we connect our hearts in the midst of processing trauma? Podcast Episode 22: Learn to Fight Well 1.19.18 Hint: Fighting well is not about fighting well, but about looking like Jesus. Chronic Soul Pain 1.19.18 Do you suffer from chronic pain of the soul? We all do. Let's stop pretending we don't--in community. Podcast Episode 21: Pursue the Perfect Marriage 1.13.18 What does perfection in marriage look like? Podcast Episode 20: Marriage Is Not That Great 1.6.17 Is there a different set of rules for marriages like ours? What Do You Want? 12.31.17 Laurie was due for a spiritual and marital audit, and she found herself before a holy God. Podcast Episode 19: I'm Coming Out 12.22.17 What was it like to come out to a friend for the first time? Laurie and that friend talk about it. Podcast Episode 18: The Loneliness of Leadership 12.15.17 Is loneliness a "required course" for leadership as Elisabeth Elliot said? Let's talk about it. Times They are Changin' 12.15.17 Matt is moving on to other things--but he's still here. (We explain.) Podcast Episode 17: The James Progression 12.7.17 How about we talk about a shame-free version of avoiding temptation? Podcast Episode 16: Concern and Hope for the Church 12.1.17 What is a gift we can receive in the midst of all the polarity we see today? Guest: Dr. Matthew Tuininga Podcast Episode 15: The New Health and Wealth Gospel 11.16.17 Does God want us to be happy? Guest: Gregory Coles Podcast Episode 14: Idolatry of Sex 11.11.17 How can we, the Church, look more like the Church? We need to look at what we worship. Podcast Episode 13: Marriage Matters 11.3.17 How can we cultivate intimacy in the tough seasons? Podcast Episode 12: Heart to Heart Prayer with Carolyn 10.27.17 Hear the heart of Laurie's longtime counselor, mentor, and friend. Chicken Love {A Guest Post From My Sister} 10.26.17 Like chickens, we can peck at each other, but we often just peck at ourselves. Podcast Episode 11: Forgiveness Is the Worst Best, Too 10.21.17 How do we truly forgive someone...in real life? Podcast Episode 10: Lament Is the Worst Best 10.13.17 Why do we got to feel the sad stuff of life? Against you, and you alone 10.11.17 We need something more convicting than the pain of a person. Podcast Episode 9: Pillar Practices 10.6.17 Pastor Marvin Williams joins us to share what keeps him tethered to Christ. Podcast Episode 8: Pillar People 9.29.17 Pastor David Beelen shares the critical people and practices in his life that have and do shape him to look and sound more like Jesus. Podcast Episode 7: Holy Hate? 9.21.17 Is there a time for Holy Hatred? Why I can't hate people anymore 9.5.17 Looking into her enemies' hearts won't let Laurie hate them anymore. Our friend, Greg Coles, on suffering well 8.25.17 Greg is leading worship at Caring Well. Here are some stellar pages from his book. Why I am so excited 8.21.17 The Caring Well conference is coming. I'm stoked. Here's why. So long, Shame 8.11.17 Shame snuck up on Laurie again. Three guest posts for Lies Young Women Believe 7.7.17 To the Girl Wrestling with her Sexuality, Who is Safe to Tell?, What do to with Painful Rejection Orlando reflections 6.27.17 Matt was finally able to name why he loved being with LGBT+/SSA Christians. Why Christians can care about LGBT+ people 5.22.17 Because...Jesus. What the world (my world) needs now is little, honest laments 5.9.17 We got to get the pain out. How can we really love people? 3.29.17 It takes experiencing love. Pillar People 3.22.17 Who are the critical characters in our lives? What I've learned after eight years in my mixed-orientation marriage 2.6.17 Are we really so different from other marriages? Addiction, worry, and worship are interchangeable 1.18.17 We are made for addiction. 5 reasons I'm glad I said "see ya" to my smartphone 12.29.16 It was keeping Laurie from feeling. That's not okay for someone in "the biz" of healing. My regift to you 12.21.16 Angela, Laurie's sister, shares hard three memories re-written. Two days after... 11.20.16 Perhaps there is something (someONE) who can unify us all. Now is the time to live like Jesus 11.11.16 This is why I cried about the election, and this is what I believe we can do next. A response to Jen 10.31.16 Rarely, do we get involved in disagreements with fellow Christians about the LGBTQ+ conversation. But, we had to share. There has to be a better way 9.30.16 How should we treat same-sex attracted Christians in the church? How vulnerability heals 9.6.16 Sometimes, doing the thing we want to do the least is the thing that will heal us the most. Inviting Jesus into anxiety 8.26.16 Fear has felt out-of-control after having a baby; inviting Jesus into it (even if he doesn't fix it) helps A new identity 8.11.16 Matt writes about a friend's affairs before and after coming to Christ--and how his identity was affected. Guest Post: Can't I just trust him, already? 7.22.16 Another guest writer reflects honestly on how her lack of trust leads her to fantasy. Guest Post: A reflection on "Living with Longing" 7.14.16 A guest writer reflects on how she practically makes it through the temptation to run from God instead of to him. Living with longing 7.5.16 Sometimes, you just have to endure. A response to Orlando: Don't stop caring 6.16.16. Let's not redraw the lines in the sand. We men need friends, too 6.7.16 Matt talks through how he didn't need a romantic interaction. He needed friendship. No shadow of shame 5.23.16 Laurie again faces the shame she fights. (Also, a word about the "T" in LGBTQ) One year ago... 5.4.16 Laurie reflects on the journey of Matt's pornography addiction recovery over the last year. 10 ways to make your church safer 4.19.16 Hint: It starts with the individual. We apologize for the delay 4.13.16 We are going to take a blogging break as we move our home and office. The benefits of opening locked memories 3.31.16 There are certain memories that seem off limits. But is it worth it to keep them locked up forever? Know self, know God (and vice-versa) 3.15.16 We share an excerpt from The Gift of Being Yourself regarding the relationship between self-knowledge and God-knowledge. I want my daughter to grow up bored 3.10.16 Boredom is...boring. But the neurological and spiritual costs of constant entertainment can be devastating. Not an identity 3.1.16 Laurie guest writes for Cornerstone University about how her struggle is often viewed differently from Matt's. Guest Post: How God saved me and my marriage 2.23.16 A guest writer explains how God rescued her from a life of death. When I am tempted to unforgive 2. 9.16 Laurie describes what she does when she wants to take back her "right" to pay Matt back. The slow descent 1.26.16 Matt compares pornography addiction to hiking down the Grand Canyon. I'd rather not self-reflect, thank you 1.19.16 Matt sampled single fatherhood for a week, and wrestled with avoiding internal reflection in the midst of busyness and boredom. Word for the year (and how it might look) 1.5.16 Laurie doesn't do resolutions anymore. (Too much opportunity for shame.) This year her word is "abide." Don't let me wallow 12.29.15 Is a life with same-sex attractions a doomed life? Don't give up 12.15.15 For all the chronic pain sufferers... //Go to archives |
